Films ruined in the last five minutes

TwoShedsJackson · 21-02-2002 6:09pm

The Matrix - 'I shall revive him with the power of lurve!!'

EL_Diablo · 25-02-2002 2:55am

Originally posted by Mistakill
Planet of the Arses, i mean Apes was another downer.

Things were going fine for the first 10/15 mins but once you found out that the hoomans could talk that really drew away from the origianal.

I thought it was ment to be a remake not a completly different storyline. The way he just turns up at the linkon memorial. What if there was another monkey there? They would have permanently warped together.they would both be almost certainly be killed immediatly. The monkeys in cop uniforms looked like big fat bastards in tight action-man clothes that had shrunk in the wash.

Ahhh well thats enough input for me for one night

How does it draw away from the original?? The humans could talk in the original too. They just didn't for a while.
And no it wasn't meant to be a remake. The director wanted everyone to know that so no one would be expecting it to live up to the original. It wasn't a sequel either it was just a movie made based around the same idea.

The Matrix - 'I shall revive him with the power of lurve!!'

She didn't revive him with the power of lurve. He was 'the one' so he couldn't die. She didn't know and wasn't trying to revive him she was kissing him because she was so disraught that he was dead. or at least she thought he was.

Makaveli · 25-02-2002 3:18am

does anybody actually understand the end of the new planet of the apes? Oh and it wasnt just the last 5 minutes of this film that sucked it was the whole thing, what a waste of 2 hours or however long it was.

madds · 25-02-2002 1:26pm

Watched Planet of the Apes last night and tbh was not enjoying the film one bit.

For example, the set that housed the "tree-city" where the apes lived just looked so cheap.

Then that ending. I actually logged on here this morning to ask if anyone could explain the ending and by coincidence I found this thread.

Terrible stuff...

chunk 3:16 · 25-02-2002 1:34pm

on the dvd of planet of the apes
there is a tim burton comentary

and i heard that he starts to explain
it but then trails off and doesnt
continue with the explination so

it seems no body knows what the ending is
all about

Mistakill · 25-02-2002 2:20pm

Diablo, are you saying that POTA was not crap?
If not why are you defending it?

The humans in the origanal didnt speak except on one ocasion when Nova uttered the word 'TAYLOR'.

Apart from Taylor and Brant no other human had learnt to speak.

Mistakill · 25-02-2002 2:28pm

The ending of the sequel ends with earth being destroyed in the future. The Alpha-Omega or 'Dooms-day Machine' blows up thus burning everything on the face of the earth.

BLITZ_Molloy · 25-02-2002 2:48pm

The end of the new Planet Of The Apes does'nt make sense. Tim Burton wanted to leave everybody confused instead of having a clean cut logical ending. Very, very ****e film.

I just saw the original last week on TV3 I think was the channel.. It was fantastic. You need someone like Charlton Heston to hold the whole thing together. The plot, the script, the acting were all a thousand times better than the 'reimagining'

ObeyGiant · 25-02-2002 3:02pm

Originally posted by BLITZ_Molloy
The plot

Uh.. weren't the two based around the same story. In other words, didn't they have the same plot (guy lands on a world inhabited by talking apes, humans are enslaved etc.)?

Originally posted by BLITZ_Molloy
the script

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
and
"Taylor: Doctor, I'd like to kiss you goodbye.
Zira: All right, but you're so damned ugly."

I will accept that the script for the original is only "better" for it's retro kitsch value. Give Tim Burton's version 30 years, perhaps people will be "ironically" quoting that.

Originally posted by BLITZ_Molloy
the acting

Charlton Heston is, in my opinion, probably the worst actor you can mention. Look back through his list of films, and name one film where he didn't let his chin do all the acting. In everything he's done, he's simply played Charlton Heston, albeit Charlton Heston in a different situation. This is not "acting". This is turning up, saying what's written on the page in front of you, and collecting a cheque at the end of it.

Soylent green is people, indeed.

Clintons Cat · 25-02-2002 6:13pm

Alien 3
Ripley knows she is going to die,then whilst trapping the alien in the furnace the black guy sacrifices his life so ripley can escape,
Stupid and pointless.

dccarm · 25-02-2002 7:50pm

Uh.. weren't the two based around the same story. In other words, didn't they have the same plot (guy lands on a world inhabited by talking apes, humans are enslaved etc.)?

Erm. No. The world in the original IS Earth. The plot therefore doesn't reveal itself until the last minute when Heston, and ourselves, discover this. So the setting is the same but the plot is different.

chernobyl · 25-02-2002 9:00pm

I'd like to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man i have ever met....

i thought of that today, surely that ruined whichever film its in?

ObeyGiant · 26-02-2002 12:47pm

Originally posted by dccarm
Erm. No. The world in the original IS Earth. The plot therefore doesn't reveal itself until the last minute when Heston, and ourselves, discover this. So the setting is the same but the plot is different.

You've got this reversed. The setting is different. In the original, it turns out that it was Earth. In Burton's version, those who were paying attention notice very early on that this is NOT set on Earth (one scene shows two moons).

But this is beside the point - the plot, as it stands, is essentially the same. A guy lands on a world he doesn't know, where the dominant species isn't man, but talking apes, and man is treated like an animal. Guy then rebels against the apes. Apes realise they were wrong in treating man this way.

I really don't see what's so hard to follow about all this?

Mistakill · 26-02-2002 3:44pm

Tim Burton took to much poetic licence in changing a lot of different things.

There was only one thing i liked about tim burtons "revised" plot and that was how the monkey that was "lost" in the nebula was actually the humans downfall.

dccarm · 26-02-2002 6:43pm

I really don't see what's so hard to follow about all this?

Well if you read my post you'd find it easier to follow. Essentially the setting for both films is an unknown planet where apes are the dominant species.

If you genuinely believe the plot of the first film is

A guy lands on a world he doesn't know, where the dominant species isn't man, but talking apes, and man is treated like an animal. Guy then rebels against the apes.

then you are kind of missing the point of it. Did you see the whole film? There's a little bit more to it than that - hence the genius of the original. Sorry if you didn't get it.

ObeyGiant · 27-02-2002 10:34am

Originally posted by dccarm
If you genuinely believe the plot of the first film is then you are kind of missing the point of it. Did you see the whole film? There's a little bit more to it than that - hence the genius of the original. Sorry if you didn't get it.

(taken from the IMDb Plot summary for Planet of the Apes (1968), which you must agree, is an entirely objective source)

"In the year 3978A.D. a spaceship with a crew of 4 crashes down on a distant planet. One of the crew members had died in space and the other 3 head out to explore the planet. They soon learn that the planet is much like their own. They then find the planet is inhabited by intelligent apes. One of the men is shot and killed and the others are taken to the apes' city. There, one undergoes brain surgery and is put into a state of living death. The other (Charlton Heston) befriends some of the apes but is feared by most. After being put through ape trial he escapes with a female human native to the planet. After helping his ape friends escape a religious heresy trial he escapes out into the wilderness with the female. There he learns the planet might not be so distant after all..."

(highlighted for your convenience)

Now, apart from a few minor details (one astronaut - not four, updated cheeseball ending), the plot is the same.

But apart from all these semantics, one must always remember that Tim Burton's version is NOT based on the 1968 version, and, as such, has no obligation to it. The two films are simply seperate imaginings based on the Pierre Boulle novel.

suppafly · 27-02-2002 10:54am

I think JP3 has to be one of the worse movies I have seen in awhile. The only decent thing about it was that the dino's looed really cool but that was it. It was so dumb and tachy, and you just had to laugh at it. The final straw was when the swat team arrived on the beach at the end, that was just pure stupid!! John johnston did a really bad job of it!!

bombidol · 27-02-2002 11:26am

remeber he was dreaming on the plane and he saw the Raptors head? that thing looked MUCK it looked like a sweeping brush painted green, it WOBBLED!

BomB

koneko · 27-02-2002 11:49am

Originally posted by suppafly
I think JP3 has to be one of the worse movies I have seen in awhile. The only decent thing about it was that the dino's looed really cool but that was it. It was so dumb and tachy, and you just had to laugh at it. The final straw was when the swat team arrived on the beach at the end, that was just pure stupid!! John johnston did a really bad job of it!!

Oh god, that was it! I was trying to think of a recent film that was awful, couldn't even remember it.

JP3 was the worst. Awful dialog. Even the special effects looked bad.

Crossroads (Britney Spears film) looks awful. It also gets an average of 2.4 out of 10 on IMDB. Now THAT's bad.

Clintons Cat · 28-02-2002 6:23pm

what was it with jp3?

the pacing seemed all wrong,no suspense or anything

Clintons Cat · 28-02-2002 6:32pm

i thought i would try to solve the ending of planet of the apes once and for all,so i dug out the novilization of the screen play and guess what its all about?

they dont even mention the ending it ends with the astronaught getting back in the pod and disappearing.

as i recall though they began shooting before the script was finalised.i think it shows

JOOROWNED · 28-02-2002 9:41pm

I WAS DISAPOINTED BY THE END TO L O T R but it did leave me wanting more...

Mistakill · 02-03-2002 4:24pm

IMHO they shouldnt have brought the lord of the raings movies out seperatly they should hav emade them all first then put them on one VHS/DVD or have a special screen int the cinema where it showed it all with 1/2 hour brakes in between the books. that ought to leave enought time to go out out of the cinema, get some fresh air, maybe stretch your legs and get somthing small to eat.
i wouldn't mind some feed back on my idea.

walt · 04-03-2002 7:35pm

house on haunted hill...

Karl Hungus · 04-03-2002 8:29pm

Thats a nice plan, Mistakill, save for a few small details.

Nobody would spend an entire DAY at the cinema.
I went to see two films back to back once, and I can tell you, NEVER AGAIN!

And one of the main things, is that the next two lotr films aren't finished yet!!!
Yes, they filmed them back to back, but there's a whole load more in the way of special effects, and such-like.

Giblet · 05-03-2002 2:25pm

I'll tell you what the ending of planet of the apes was about......................................

After marky mark left the guy got out of the room and took over again... he was so pissed off with marky mark that he decided to build a time machine somehow..it took thousands of years but when it was built the first person went back in time to about 2 minutes after yer man decided to build one....and gave it to him.......he got a history book of earth and went back in time and them took over the planet at a crucial time of its development....and them COPIED everything in the history book every last detail so that the apes would have exactly the same monuments and everything like earth would have....he then died and passed the book on to his son........who then build the lincon memorial exactly the same cept for his dads face.....marky mark landed in this new future to find it was exactly the same cept for the apes....perfect plan.....this dosen't make much sense but it makes a hell of alot more sense than the film

Bard · 05-03-2002 2:42pm

Originally posted by chernobyl
I'd like to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man i have ever met....

i thought of that today, surely that ruined whichever film its in?

That quote is from near the end of "Armageddon", and no, it on it's own could never ruin that film.

Irish_Ranger_IR · 06-03-2002 2:10pm

Originally posted by AngelWhore
Thats a nice plan, Mistakill, save for a few small details.

Nobody would spend an entire DAY at the cinema.
I went to see two films back to back once, and I can tell you, NEVER AGAIN!

Sorry, the Savoy in Dublin, about 2 years ago, did all Star Trek films Back to back, 12 hours in total, I heard the cinema was packed out for the hole day......

My mates brother was there, he said it was good..

Tom Cruses last film, now that was a bad ending.....

Cheez · 07-03-2002 1:26pm

Event Horizon that was so class the whole way through
effects were dedly and i was diein to see what the ending
would be and then it turned out sh1tty ahh well

That film where that blokes a stockbroker
starring the good actor whos in realisticy
teenage america type films the whole time

he was in "first love" on netwrok 2 or rte1 tuder night
anyone have a clue what im talkin bout?

Films ruined in the last five minutes

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