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Friday Bad joke

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  • 15-02-2002 3:16pm
    #1
    horn dog 1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭


    well in work we have a friday bad joke, I think its only fair that as I spend half my day on the boards with you guys that you should be included.

    One rule in case you over step the mark no slagging of the moderators.......

    friday bad joke .......A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because", he replied, "that's a microwave.


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    #2
    Saruman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    Eh humour section?


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    #3
    horn dog 1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭horn dog 1


    yes your right you should go to the humour section and develop one...........
    the Friday bad joke was for everyone so stop trying to be clever and get in the
    "Thank Crunchy its Friday "


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    #4
    Morpheus
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 2,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Morpheus


    OK....

    LOVERS HAVE VALENTINES DAY....

    FATHERS HAVE FATHERS DAY...

    MOTHERS HAVE MOTHERS DAY...

    WHAT DAY DO WAN*ERS HAVE????

    PALM SUNDAY!!! GEDDIT? BRUTAL!!!!


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    #5
    horn dog 1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭horn dog 1


    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
    "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

    "But why?" asks the man.

    "I'm a divorce lawyer."

    :p


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    #6
    horn dog 1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭horn dog 1


    one more for you guys
    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson pitch their tent under the stars.
    In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson and says, "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce."
    Watson looks up and says, "I deduce that if there are so many stars in the sky, some of them must be similar to our own sun, and if even a few of these have planets, then there is a good possibility of life elsewhere in the universe."
    "Watson you idiot, someone's stolen our tent."


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    #7
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    Lads, this is the reason we have a Humour board.

    I've got a funny feeling (gedit? oh, never mind) that Montel will be transferring this along shortly.


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    #8
    Saruman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    no doubt he will.. the trigger happy Monty is sure to whack this where it belongs.. especially since its his turf and he was none too impressed with Horndog... Horndog1 is a little more reserved but the sly ole dog has not changed completely it seems.


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    #9
    horn dog 1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭horn dog 1


    who is this horndog you refer to ??????
    he must have beenthe prototype...


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    #10
    EvilGeorge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 875 ✭✭✭EvilGeorge


    He was shot on some hunting safari I believe - by a hairy russian!:D


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    #11
    Outofit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭Outofit


    Does this have anything to do with shaving ? :p


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    #12
    Saruman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    I believe it does... ahem .. humour section!

    Wonder will monty close the thread, Delete it, 12 click Horndog or fo the right thing and move to humour? We shall see....


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    #13
    Lucutus
    Registered Users Posts: 2,831 ✭✭✭Lucutus


    there we go...

    BOLD HORNDAWG1

    Sometimes I wish we still had the karma hack installed...


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    #14
    ToxicPaddy
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 9,763 Mod ✭✭✭✭ToxicPaddy


    This is my offering... enjoy...

    :D:D:D

    A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

    Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
    "Well, it was like this," said the man, "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

    We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball--stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.

    That's when I made my mistake." "What did you do?" asks the doctor.

    "Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,

    Hey, this looks like yours!"


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