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hey you too can be president

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  • 04-03-2002 3:18pm
    #1
    ayatollah
    Registered Users Posts: 1,234 ✭✭✭


    WHO WANTS TO BE A PRESIDENT
    By Jesus Fillman
    EDITED BY XSPAZJRX@AOL.COM




    If you can answer these thirteen questions in a row correctly you can be a president.

    The questions get more difficult as you go along.

    Simply choose one out the four answers. Is it (A), (B), (C) or (D)?

    If you don’t know the answer you may phone a friend, toss a coin or consult an Astrologer.

    Now here is the first question.

    1 Who was the first president?
    Was it?
    (A) George Washington.
    (B) George Burns.
    (C) Boy George or
    (D) Georgie Girl.
    If you guessed Boy George, There may be hope for you.


    2 When is Presidents Day?
    Is it?
    (A) Cinco de Mayo.
    (B) February 22nd .
    (C) Hanukkah or
    (D) El President Day.
    If you guessed (D) El President Day, You are very close.


    3 Who is Bob Dole?
    Is he?
    (A) Largest stockholder in Viagra.
    (B) Owns Dole Pineapple.
    (C) Mrs Dole’s laundry boy.
    (D) Host of Saturday Night Live.
    If you guessed (C) Mrs Dole’s laundry boy, You are president material.

    Only ten questions left to become president.


    4 As president, you’re confronted with a diplomatic problem. What should you do?
    (A) Watch pornographic movies at Camp David.
    (B) Smoke a joint.
    (C) Call Monica.
    (D) Go Jogging.
    If you called Monica, you can forget jogging.


    5 If The First Lady wants to get on top, What should you do?
    (A) Claim you’re the First Lady.
    (B) Call the butler.
    (C) Take pictures for the Family White House Archives.
    (D) Say you have a headache.
    If you called the butler, There may be hair in your soup.


    6 What is The Presidents Oath?
    (A) Never fire the butler.
    (B) In case of war turn the TV up louder.
    (C) Wash your hands before throwing anyone the finger.
    (D) Swear to God to balance the budget.


    7 Where is the presidents bomb shelter located?
    (A) The Play Boy Mansion.
    (B) Baghdad.
    (C) The Vatican.
    (D) In Taco Bells largest food storage area.
    If you choose (D) Taco Bell storage area, you may be victimized with diarrhea.

    Keep guessing. You still have 3 lifelines.


    8 When can a president be impeached?
    (A) While eating dessert.
    (B) When Rush Limbaugh says so.
    (C) When he cant find his way to work.
    (D) If he sits on the toilet too long.

    9 If the President and Vice president are not available, who is in charge of The White House?
    (A) Speaker of the blouse.
    (B) Bill Gates.
    (C) Mr. Snufulukalas.
    (D) Mr Rogers.


    10 Exactly where does the president sleep at night?
    (A) In The White House.
    (B) In The State House.
    (C) At his mother-in-laws house.
    (D) With Will + Grace.



    Stopping for a commercial. Auto Security > http://www.autoprotector.com/


    11 If the president needs medical attention, Who gets called first?
    (A) The First Doctor.
    (B) The First Astrologer.
    (C) The First Lady.
    (D) The Second Lady.

    YOUR ONLY TWO QUESTIONS AWAY FROM BECOMING PRESIDENT.


    12 If the presidential limousine gets a flat, What is security protocol?
    (A) The driver fixes the flat.
    (B) The secret service fixes the flat.
    (C) Call Triple A.
    (D) Every one gets stoned.

    This is the big one. Are you ready?



    13 While in transit, If the president has to take a massive crap, What is security protocol?
    (A) Drive to the nearest rest area.
    (B) Security inserts a cork.
    (C) Sing 99 bottles of beer on the wall.
    (D) Open a passengers window and light flares.


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