Satan outlawed!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Ineresting story from the New York Times (i know it's long, but it is hilarious!)
Florida Town Finds Satan an Offense Unto It
By RICK BRAGG

NGLIS, Fla., March 13 — Carolyn Risher, the mayor of this little town, never saw Satan riding in the back of a Cadillac down U.S. 19.

She never saw him buying grapefruit at the curb market, or ordering up a soft-serve chocolate and vanilla swirl at the convenience store, or trying to trade in a stereo speaker at the pawn shop.

She never saw him buying shiners at the bait shop, or clinging to a pole at the firehouse, or sunk down in a pew at the community church.

She never saw him.

"Never," she said. "But I have felt his works." She felt him every time she saw a molested child, or a burned house.

"I can't see the wind blow, really," Mrs. Risher said, "but I have felt its effects.

"People call and ask me, `Carolyn, is Satan there?' And I tell them, `Satan is only where we let him.' "

So Mrs. Risher, the mayor in this town of 1,400 residents for as long as many people can remember, sent him on down the road.

She has made international news by banning Satan, by mayoral proclamation, from the Inglis city limits.

She has drawn praise and condemnation and has become the butt of jokes.

"It doesn't bother me," she said, "either way."

To some people, it is a most heinous violation of the separation of church and state. To others, there was too much separation there already, and it took Mrs. Risher, a 61- year-old from Florida's Gulf Coast, to pinch church and state together again. Mrs. Risher, who is known to drive a wrecker for her husband's towing business when she is not handling city business, did not plan on any of that.

"I did what was best for my town and my people," Mrs. Risher said. She did it, she said, because on a late night more than four months ago, God told her to.

Inglis, about 75 miles north of Tampa, was in the grip of what could only be surmised by religious leaders here as Satan.

To an outsider, cruising down this open stretch of U.S. 19, it would not have looked that way. It would have looked as it always does, slow, a little sleepy, a place where tall, slim palms jut above the live oaks and pines, a place where vendors sell the freshest oranges on earth and deep green creeks cut through the unforgiving Florida scrub.

But people here had noticed a creeping presence.

It was Halloween, the season of the witch, and religious leaders and some parents were dismayed at the way young people were dressing and behaving. Some wore all black, painted their faces ghoulishly — all the time, not just for the season — and it was rumored that drug use was on the rise. There had been a rise in spousal abuse and child abuse.

The Rev. Richard Moore, pastor at the Yankeetown Church of God, told the mayor of his plan to help cleanse the town of its evils by installing four hollowed-out wooden posts at the four entrances to town. In the hollow of each post would be a prayer.

The mayor thought that was a good idea, but on Halloween night, as she sat alone at her kitchen table, she was moved by the spirit of God to banish Satan — by proclamation — and insert that banishment into the posts, into the very ground. She takes no credit for the words. God guided her hand, she said.

"Be it known from this day forward that Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town of Inglis," she wrote. "Satan is hereby declared powerless, no longer ruling over, nor influencing, our citizens.

"In the past, Satan has caused division, animosity, hate, confusion, ungodly acts on our youth, and discord among our friends and loved ones. No longer!"

The language leaves Satan very little wiggle room.

"We exercise our authority over the devil in Jesus's name. By that authority, and through His Blessed Name, we command all Satanic and demonic forces to cease their activities and depart the town of Inglis."

Other town officials would later say that the mayor was only speaking for herself, but the proclamation was printed, signed by the town clerk and stamped with the official seal, before being encased in the posts and sunk into the ground.

The jokes started almost immediately.

The phone would ring in Town Hall and the caller would say, "Hey, it's Satan." The city employees would just answer, "Yeah," and hang up.

One day the mayor walked into her office to find city employees gathered around her desk, listening to a call on speakerphone.

"Carolyn?" the caller said. "This is Satan. I know you want me, baby."

Then, last week, someone stole the posts and the messages buried deep inside. The posts were resunk on Tuesday, again with the prayers and proclamations inside. The mayor believes the proclamation is working, though she cannot keep Satan from the hearts of all 1,400 residents, of course.

"There hasn't been what I would call a mathematical drop in crimes," said Lt. Steve Morris of the Inglis Police Department.

But it has brought a unity to the community that will pay off, said Lieutenant Morris and others.

While some residents disagree with the mayor's official stance against Satan, most people seem to support her.

"I think the law-abiding citizens have banded together and drawn some strength from what the mayor has done," Lieutenant Morris said.

Pastor Moore agrees.

"We as Christians have got to take a stand for God, and reclaim our town for God," he said.

Others in town were less enthusiastic. "Count me among the embarrassed," one Inglis merchant said.

Most who disagreed with the mayor asked not to be named, afraid that, by speaking out against the mayor, they would be perceived as speaking for the Prince of Darkness.

Legal experts said the mayor might be headed for trouble. The separation of church and state, they said, requires that the government not take sides, even in what seems to be a simple choice, between good and evil.

"On one level, it seems like something everyone would agree on," said George Gonzales, professor of political science at the University of Miami, "but it also seems aggressive and threatening to others who don't specifically abide by that belief."

The proclamation "would open up the town to accusations of a preference of religions," said Jim Hashek, who teaches First Amendment law at Loyola University in New Orleans, and is a First Amendment consultant for the American Civil Liberties Union.

Mrs. Risher is not worried that someone, guided by the hand of Satan, will steal the posts again. They were sunk in reinforced concrete.

"He ain't going to take them this time," she said, "without some real work."

At dusk, in this small place, it is easy to believe that the devil really has been banished. The sunlight fades to burnished gold and the clouds darken to purple, and people who work with their hands for a living drift peacefully into the stores and restaurants, laughing, joking.

But it does make people here pause a bit, as dark falls, as they head out of town and pass that city limits sign.

Terminator

I wonder if Marilyn Manson (the devil's own son) will be allowed bring his tour to this town?

Khynareth

Better than watch a comedy, read american papers...

Irish_Ranger_IR

What are they LIKE !!!!!!!!!OMFG

Clintons Cat

Oi satan.Your barred...OUT!

Mrs. Risher is not worried that someone, guided by the hand of Satan, will steal the posts again. They were sunk in reinforced concrete.

"He ain't going to take them this time," she said, "without some real work."

Ah they sound the perfect place for a couple of jokers to put a few concentric circles of garden gnomes.

Frank Grimes

I saw something on Sky News about this. It was pretty scary stuff, the majority of the town seem to be total religious freaks. There were a couple of people saying (at the town meeting) that basically this was nuts, freedom of speech etc etc. but it looked like the rest of the town were going to kill them.
Only in the states.

n.catenthusiast

hilarious. its like something out of the onion (www.theonion.com)

Terminator

I think its a great idea.

If I was mayor of Dublin I'd ban Louis Walsh to Galway or somewhere.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

ere, no!
we don't want the fecker

Karl Hungus

Originally posted by Terminator
I think its a great idea.

If I was mayor of Dublin I'd ban Louis Walsh to Galway or somewhere.

!!!

If that bastard gets near hear again, I'm rounding up the lads, and were gonna capture him and torture him.
Then we'll throw his severed head back up to Dublin.

Terminator

Originally posted by AngelWhore


!!!

If that bastard gets near hear again, I'm rounding up the lads, and were gonna capture him and torture him.
Then we'll throw his severed head back up to Dublin.

Its a deal. Maybe we can send Westlife up there aswell?

Karl Hungus

Originally posted by Terminator

Its a deal. Maybe we can send Westlife up there aswell?

I might let one of them get away... Defiled...

kiffer

I cannt wait till crime continues to climb and they have to admit that it's all their own fault and they cant blame it on Satan ... no Satan in town means that that child abuser did it all on his own ... arn't humans sickos...

Panda

Lol, silly mericans

Satan is just a happy go lucky trickster with a bad rep...

or maybe not...