Is it possible for a guy to be a nice guy without being,as sven put it, a pervert etc

IRISHLILY24

wow, I wish I'd found this thread sooner.
I hav'nt had the best experiences with guys, For a long time I said all men were pigs, but then I had to stop and think, gee, there are lots more people out there and they cant all be bad. I have met lots of nice guys who are sane and not perverted, ya they are always married or taken, because some girl saw what I saw. So while I want to say that all men are scum (because of my own personal experience, or that of a loved one), I dont find it true...I dont walk over nice guys or romantic guys, I seek them out. I hope to find one that isnt taken already someday
hugs to fio, you speak a lot of truth and I find it refreshing.

Mahotée

ok. dave. dave the happy ra. he's a super nice guy. but i dont think he's a pervert etc.

so theres one, and therefore it is possible. and there are so many others.

i dont think having a twisted sense of humour makes you a 'pervert'. but im not going with the dictionary definitions either. somewhere in the middle.

alaskagirl

creepily enough i actually know about 7 zillion and ten guys NAMED brad. And they mostly ARE "brads". Crazy. I will have to use that term from now on. There are alot of words for girls who are superficial like that, but not many for guys. The girl words that come to mind... cookie cutter, barbie. erg. I think there should be more non-brad ctyiers in the world! there should be a contact list of them ! ooh! a non-brad network. and we could have a warning list of brads. ooooohhh....

smiles

Originally posted by Mahotée
i dont think having a twisted sense of humour makes you a 'pervert'. but im not going with the dictionary definitions either. somewhere in the middle.

Am i a pervert? I mean, i'm open, mostly honest about sex and relationships, probably more so than the average josie-soap.

Guys aren't nice. *Girls* aren't nice.
People are relatively nice!

I've found that being nice is hard to do, it pulls you in two (or more) directions at once. Between whats good for you and what is good for others.

<< Fio >>

chernobyl

Originally posted by foobar


That is also kinda comparable to my theory as to why it is much easier for a straight girl to kiss a girl than a straight guy to kiss a guy.

*Girls are more secure in their sexuality and dont suffer from the same pressure and anti gay sentiments from their stupid friends.

Im not secure enough in my sexuality to kiss some guy so if asked, i would decline.


**i only assume that girls are more understanding about such issues and offer more support rather than making "her" a social outcast.

sisob

Originally posted by smiles

Am i a pervert? I mean, i'm open, mostly honest about sex and relationships, probably more so than the average josie-soap.

no your not a pervert - your just open and curious and we love you for it

Guys aren't nice. *Girls* aren't nice.
People are relatively nice!

i hate they way so many girls want so Brad prince charming who is the ultimate nice guy

I've found that being nice is hard to do, it pulls you in two (or more) directions at once. Between whats good for you and what is good for others.

yeah I'm nice to my friends(mostly ) but if your a brad or a bitch watch out

Typedef

What most people are alluding to is iconaclasim the notion that people like Buffy from Buffy the Vampire slayer actually exist and are attainable by mere mortals, when in reality, the Buffy's of this world stick to the Brads of this world and raise 2.4 children and a dog, roughly 40% of them get divorced and Brad runs off with Sindy, haw, haw.

Like I say, nice is a front, people are intrinsically abased animalistic sociopaths and while everyone with a brain hates fronting or allowing the spandex world of superficiality to intercede on their puriticanal sense of self and misanthropic instincts, the reality is that unless you play ball as it were, you end up washing Brad's car and inanely fantacising about Brad's great wife because women 'don't' go out of their way to meet insular nerdy guys.... for some obscure reason they prefare exciting guys with great cars, but even that is too simplistic in a wide sense you must project yourself, sell yourself to get what you want and that is ultimately what cookie cutters and emasculated Ken dolls called Brad are good at, selling their (ostensibly limited) traits.
Unfortunately intelligentsia are preoccupied with the fact that to fit into this plastic Barbie doll world they effectively have to shed some of the padding from their IQ scores, but hey when the alpha's run the world we can permit mating only during ponfar ok?

Yes being nice makes people feel good, but that is my point, it's a fallacy to regard any act of kindness as anything other than a means to an end i.e.(tm) the gratification of preforming a 'selfless act'.

Just on issue a pervert is a 'sexual deviant' of some description so I should hope that most if not all Brad type automata are predictably encapusalted by their uniformity and anonmity thus are for the most part not 'perverts'.

Fact is though the cookie cutters of this world run the show and for example to meet Barbie you have to play the cookie cutters game because to quote a great peace of litreature.

they are everyone, and they are no one ... They are guarding
all the doors, they are holding all the keys

So it is just tough doo doo guys and dolls, put up or shut up as the Bradspeak goes.
Typedef feels self affirmed having waffled... the tap keeps dripping..... Typedef goes off to compare redness of neck with yokals

lordsippa

Hmm... the technical meaning of perversion is warping. To my knowledge a "pervert" as we hold it is someone with warped sexual desires (as the moral majority ;p would hold it).

And there you go.

SOL

well done type def,
now reply to the perfect kiss one

IRISHLILY24

all I can say is,
will you marry me?

lol

sisob

Originally posted by Typedef
What most people are alluding to is iconaclasim the notion that people like Buffy from Buffy the Vampire slayer actually exist and are attainable by mere mortals, when in reality, the Buffy's of this world stick to the Brads of this world and raise 2.4 children and a dog, roughly 40% of them get divorced and Brad runs off with Sindy, haw, haw.

I'm curious - does anyone actually want a buffy? As far as I'm concerned the brad's can have all buffy's for all I care. As long as they don't bring up their 2.4 children anywhere near me

Like I say, nice is a front, people are intrinsically based animalistic sociopaths and while everyone with a brain hates fronting or allowing the spandex world of superficiality to intercede on their puriticanal sense of self and misanthropic

I agree but I probably just would have said "people are crazy"

instincts, the reality is that unless you play ball as it were, you end up washing Brad's car and inanely fantacising about Brad's great wife because women 'don't' go out of their way to meet insular nerdy guys.... for some obscure reason they prefare exciting guys with great cars, but even that is too simplistic in a wide sense you must project yourself, sell yourself to get what you want and that is ultimately what cookie cutters and emasculated Ken dolls called Brad are good at, selling their (ostensibly limited) traits.
Unfortunately intelligentsia are preoccupied with the fact that to fit into this plastic Barbie doll world they effectively have to shed some of the padding from their IQ scores, but hey when the alpha's run the world we can permit mating only during ponfar ok?

Maybe I'm just young and idealistic - but **** that - I'm not going to believe that in the end i'll get despirate and act like a brad just so that I can find a barbie to settle down with and have my dog and 2.4 kids - There are plenty of non-barbie women out there (lilly for example) and I don't think it's unreasonable to hope to meet the "right one". Anyway i'd rather be alone or dead that "play the game" and score me a barbie

Yes being nice makes people feel good, but that is my point, it's a fallacy to regard any act of kindness as anything other than a means to an end i.e.(tm) the gratification of preforming a 'selfless act'.

yes there is no such thing as a purely selfless act - but personally I find it much easier to make other people happy than to make myself happy. And sure i get some satisfaction from it - but i still think that it's a bit cynical to say that "any act of kindness as anything other than a means to an end"

Just on issue a pervert is a 'sexual deviant' of some description so I should hope that most if not all Brad type automata are predictably encapusalted by their uniformity and anonmity thus are for the most part not 'perverts'.

well maybe perverts was not the right word - the point is that they are sexual and crude underneath the prissy boy front

Fact is though the cookie cutters of this world run the show and for example to meet Barbie you have to play the cookie cutters game because to quote a great peace of litreature.

as I said - who the hell wants a barbie?


that is my bit said

lordsippa

In the beginning there were two tribes:
The Brads and Barbies tribe
&
The geeks and associated non-idiot people tribe

And the tribes were happy by themselves and they lived alone as two seperate communes. And then one day a G&ANIP saw something shiny over in the brads land and went over to investigate and the brad saw something with breasts approaching and went to investigate. And the tribes began to mingle and mix and then began to realise that they didn't like each other. But by then it was too late. Everywhere a G&ANIP looked there were brads and barbies and everywhere a brad looked there were breasts, brads and things that were kinda like brads but just didn't seem... right...

Basically I'm trying to say that Brads and us are DIFFERENT people. I'm not some super charming and suave guy - hell i'm a bit of a bum to be honest! And brads aren't ... well... they aren't sophisticated. And the major problem is that we live together. Fact is, I'd much rather have a G&ANIP lady than a barbie and a brad would rather have a barbie than a G&ANIP (and i know this won't catch on but i really can't be bothered coming up with a better title)! The problem is that there is no massive wall seperating the brads etc from the G&ANIP's. We have to live in the same world as them and personally I feel that Brads should not be figures of bitterness and hatred but more of amusement. Oh and we should make them into a slave species but i may still be a bit bitter.

Typedef

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24
all I can say is,
will you marry me?

lol

Yes and be warned, I'm very high maintenance.
This means dinner, flowers and the occasional pieces of jewelery, but most of all, diamonds.

/

shep the malevolent pixie

"as I said - who the hell wants a barbie?"

you would i f you played with them the way i did...
ah, my perverted childhood. so much fun...
anyway, all guys are assholes, all girls are bitches but there are some vaguely nice ones of each. as kate said we're all just people, ergo we suck.
by the way-who's typedef? i like the way you think and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

shepflefleflefle :cool:

alaskagirl

Well *I* just think that people shouldnt consider themselves special if they get a brad or buffy.geez, its not like theyre better than us. also, if we were segregated with a humungo wall, what would we have to remind us of what NOT to be? we would end up re-sorting amongst ourselves into smaller G&ANIP groups. We would be a divided tribe!! Although there should perhaps be a tribal refuge.... or do we already have one? hmmmmm, CTYI. myabe someone had this idea already....

nosmo

This whole Brad conspiracy reminds me of the "Brett" episode in Adrian Mole!

Any agreeerenising people here.
-

Alk3

I think guys can be nice, and I consider myself a nice guy. I have loads of female friends and I am nice to them and I help them out if their boyfriends are treating them like **** or whatever and I don't expect anything in return. I am just looking out for a friend, as I would if they were a guy. I am open about my sexuality but the fact I amn't quite sure about my own sexuality makes things a bit odd.

lordsippa

I think I am very often a not so nice person, cause I tell the truth. A lot. If I see someone in a relationship that is doomed to failure i'll let them know (ok. i won't say "you're relationship is screwed" but i might point out how everyone says it doesn't look like it'll last.). So i often feel like quite an asshole.

And personally I'd much rather be that than a "you're perfect" brad.

So there.

smiles

I dont actually like *nice*.

The word itself brings images of half-heartedness and mock feeling to me.

As most people would know i'm for passion, 100% full on feeling and i cant/wont settle for nicenessness.

(rant!)

<< Fio >>

smiles

Originally posted by sisob
no your not a pervert - your just open and curious and we love you for it

Thank you! Made me feel all warm and fuzzy....

i hate they way so many girls want so Brad prince charming who is the ultimate nice guy

girls want someone who will make them feel special in the end.

The brad thing is a sheer image thing that most girls (thankfully i dont really get this bit) want to own/be seen with.

<< Fio >>

sisob

Originally posted by smiles


Thank you! Made me feel all warm and fuzzy....

:cool:

girls want someone who will make them feel special in the end.

good - guess there is some hope for me yet - I'm good at making ppl happy

sisob

Originally posted by lordsippa
I think I am very often a not so nice person, cause I tell the truth. A lot. If I see someone in a relationship that is doomed to failure i'll let them know (ok. i won't say "you're relationship is screwed" but i might point out how everyone says it doesn't look like it'll last.). So i often feel like quite an asshole.

And personally I'd much rather be that than a "you're perfect" brad.

So there.

well said - I also concider myself honest and a lot of people love it after spending years with two-faced "yessir" brads

Crash

I think I am very often a not so nice person, cause I tell the truth. A lot. If I see someone in a relationship that is doomed to failure i'll let them know (ok. i won't say "you're relationship is screwed" but i might point out how everyone says it doesn't look like it'll last.). So i often feel like quite an asshole.

Nono, seriously, as one who always ends in a) bad relationships or b) stupid crushes, it is handy to have someone who will show you the truth, even when you are to dumb to realise it yourself

Alk3

Okay, regarding the whole openness about sexuality and stuff ... I have told two of my closest friends (and now just about anyone who visits Boards) that I think I am gay. Not just the normal once-in-a-lifetime gay fantasy / experience / thought that all guys get -- proper gay. It's hard to explain. Anyway, one of 'em (Dermo) tried his best to understand but all he could say was "it's probably just a phase" or something to that effect. Whilst that wasn't particularly helpful, it was good to know he was cool with it. The other guy pretty much slagged the **** out of me and started on me a few days later, he had been nothing but a good friend to me before that but he was the first person ever to persecute me for being gay -- and I amn't sure I am even gay yet! Anyway, I try to be true with my feelings even if I amn't the best at it. Just look at the Casey thing, I wasn't the best at telling her my feelings but I think I got the point across without being mean. So, yeah, I might make a fool out of myself and get slagged about it for months afterwards -- but I did it in as nice a way as I could whilst still being true to myself.

This has turned into a ramble more than anything which is what always happens when I try to explain my stance on the whole sexuality subject over the 'net. God dammit.

lordsippa

Bob, that is so cool! Being gay and all. Personally bisexuality works out great cause i still find many girls very very sexy and i tend to get along better with girls (well... non barbies).

But yeah... i know the feeling. One of my friends is a homophobe - hell my parents are! Don't worry though man... That friend will either turn back into one or is a prick anyway. So just chill. And be happy as you.

alaskagirl

yeah! i agree! dont hang out with anyone who slags you for being who you are! i hate it when some people are so unaccepting that i cant even get a group of my friends together in my hot tub because none of them want to be in the tub with one of my other bisexual friends! actually,though, since being in highschool, i have probably met nearly as many bisexual people and homosexual people as i have straight people. and theyre pretty open about it. its a little difficult for me when i know my stand partner in orchestra is lesbian, and she is telling me how cute some girl is, but then i think about it, and its just as if I was talking about some guy. oh well. im glad we are so diverse!!!!

alaskagirl

ohyeah, i forgot...
if anyone gives you or a friend problems about being gay, and they say "well, its weird for someone to be homosexual because if everyone was suddenly homosexual, then the world would end and nobody would procreate." or something to that effect, just tell them that the same thing would happen if everyone was male or female, so it would be weird to be male ( or female).

smiles

Bob, give it time, it is something that some people find incredibly confusing, and others find it perfectly natural.

*hug*

as for the guy starting on you? well just ignore him, hard, but the easiest thing in the long run, if you can show that you dont care then it will help you become more comfortable with your sexuality (whatever that is), and the fact that you have questioned it will make you more comfortable when you do decide/discover what it is.

*hugs*

<< Fio >>

halenger

This is kinda completely off the topic but i just wanna say im glad to see that people are ok with sexuality here.

Personally ive always said if you can't handle bi-seuxal/homosexual people you'll have a hard time dealing with CTYI. You really do have to be open minded to enjoy CTYI. There's not really much room for homophobes. I know that some people just can't handle it but hopefully over time they WILL get over it. One of the most important things though is that people are non-persecuting of bi/gay people.
For most, if not all, CTYI people there has been probably at least some bullying in regard to their 'talentedness' maybe even just in jest. But my point is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Tis a very wise phrase. I hope we can ALL become more familiar with it.

Me thinks it's also rather a privalege to be the only one told about a persons sexuallity. One of my friends told me he was gay but no one else knows, other than his partner i suppose.

Ivan

Guys are all perverts, psychos or castrated

But for me, thats normal so in a way....


awh heck...