Finally...students Demand Wars In Other Countries

klong

Washington, D.C. -- A delegation of American high
school students today demanded the United States stop waging
war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and
Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead attack places they've
actually heard of, such as France, Australia, andAustria,
unless, they said, those last two are the same
country.

"People claim we don't know as much geography as our
parents and grandparents, but it's so not our fault," Josh
Beldoni, a senior at Fischer High School in Los Angeles, told
the Senate Armed Services Committee. "Back then they only
had wars in, like, Germany and England, but we're supposed
to know about places like Somalia and Massachusetts."

"Macedonia," corrected committee Chairman Carl Levin
of Michigan. "See?" said Beldoni.

Beldoni's frustration was shared by nearly three dozen
students at the hearing, who blamed the U.S. military
for making them look bad.

"I totally support our soldiers and all that, but I am
seriously failing both geography and social studies
because I keep getting asked to find Croatia or Yemvrekia, or
whatever bizarre-o country we send troops to," said
Amelia Nash, a junior at Clark High School in Orlando, FL.
"Can't we fight in, like, Italy? It's boot-shaped."

Chairman Levin however, explained that Italy was a
U.S. ally, and that intervention is usually in response to a specific threat.

"OK, what about Arulco?" interrupted Tyler Boone, a
senior at Bellevue High School in Wisconsin. "That's a
country in Jagged Alliance 2 run by the evil Queen Deidranna. I'm

totally familiar with that place. She's a major threat."

"Jagged...?" said Levin.

"Alliance. It's a computer game."

"Well, no," Levin answered. "We can't attack a fictional country."

"Yeah right," Boone mumbled. "Like Grenada was real."

The students' testimony was supported by a
cross-section of high school geography teachers, who urged the
committee to help lay a solid foundation for America's young people by curtailing any intervention abroad.

"Since the anti-terror war began, most of my students
can now point to Afghanistan on a map, which is fine, but
those same kids still don't know the capitals of Nevada and
Ohio," said Richard Gerber, who teaches at Rhymony High
School in Atlanta. "I think we need to cut back on our
activities overseas and take care of business at home, and if
that means invading Tallahassee (FL) or Trenton (NJ) so
that students learn where they are, so be it."

"I've always wanted to stick it to Hartford (CT),"
said Sen. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island. "Oh sh*t, is my
microphone on?"

The hearing adjourned after six hours. An estimated
2,000 more students were expected to hold a march in the
nation's capital, but forgot which city it was in.

rymus

the only thing thats worse than a stupid yank is a stupid student yank

Vikktakkht

n1... like it so much I', gonna forward it to my american girlfriend and her sister! LOL