Some slightly dark humour ;)

Neil3030 · 04-04-2002 12:27am #1

> > This was actually posted very briefly on the
> > McDonnell Douglas website
> > by an employee there who obviously has a sense of
> > humour. The company,
> > of course, does not (have a sense of humour) -
> and
> > made the web department
> > take it down immediately.
> > (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one
> of
> > the world's chief
> > suppliers of military aircraft).
> >
> >
> > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas
> > military aircraft. In order
> > to protect your new investment, please take a few
> > moments to fill out the
> > warranty registration card below. Answering the
> > survey questions is not
> > required, but the information will help us to
> > develop new products that
> > best meet your needs and desires.
> >
> > 1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_]
> > Gen. [_] Comrade [_]
> > Classified [_] Other
> > First Name:
> >
>
.....................................................
> > Initial: ........
> > Last
> >
>
Name:.....................................................
> >
>
Password:.....................................................
> > (max. 8 char)
> > Code
> >
>
Name:.....................................................
> > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...........
> ...........
> > ..........
> >
> > 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
> > [_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_]
> > F-117A Stealth [_]
> > Classified
> >
> > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /
> > ....... /......
> >
> > 4. Serial Number:
> > ................................................
> >
> > 5. Please check where this product was purchased:
> > [_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalogue
> > showroom [_] Independent arms
> > broker
> > [_] Mail order [_] Discount store [_] Government
> > surplus [_] Classified
> >
> > 6. Please check how you became aware of the
> > McDonnell Douglas product you
> > have just purchased:
> > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display
> > [_] Espionage
> > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_]
> > Political lobbying by
> > manufacturer
> > [_] Was attacked by one
> >
> > 7. Please check the three (3) factors that most
> > influenced your decision to
> > purchase
> > this McDonnell Douglas product:
> > [_] Style / appearance [_] Speed /
> manoeuvrability
> > [_] Price / value
> > [_] Comfort / convenience [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_]
> > Recommended by salesperson
> > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced
> > Weapons Systems [_] Backroom
> > politics
> > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
> >
> > 8. Please check the location(s) where this
> product
> > will be used:
> > [_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Central / South
> > America [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft
> > carrier
> > [_] Iraq [_] Europe [_] Iraq [_] Middle East (not
> > Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa
> > [_] Iraq
> > [_] Asia / Far East [_] Iraq [_] Misc. Third
> World
> > countries [_] Iraq [_]
> > Classified
> > [_] Iraq
> >
> > 9. Please check the products that you currently
> own
> > or intend to purchase in
> > the near
> > future:
> > [_] Colour TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer
> Satellite
> > [_] CD Player [_]
> > Air-to-Air Missiles
> > [_] Space Shuttle [_] Home Computer [_] Nuclear
> > Weapon
> >
> > 10. How would you describe yourself or your
> > organisation? (Check all that
> > apply:)
> > [_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_]
> Crazed
> > [_] Neutral [_] Democratic
> > [_] Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive /
> Tribal
> >
> > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
> > product?
> > [_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcases of
> > cocaine [_] Oil revenues
> > [_] Personal check [_] Credit card [_] Ransom
> money
> > [_] Traveller's check
> >
> > 12. Your occupation:
> > [_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_]
> > Revolutionary [_] Clerical [_]
> > Mercenary
> > [_] Tyrant [_] Middle management [_] Eccentric
> > billionaire [_] Defence
> > Minister / General
> > [_] Retired [_] Student
> >
> > 13. To help us understand our customers'
> lifestyles,
> > please indicate the
> > interests
> > and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
> > participating on a regular
> > basis:
> > [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] Sabotage [_]
> > Running / jogging
> > [_] Propaganda / misinformation [_]
> Destabilization
> > / overthrow [_] Default on
> > loans
> > [_] Gardening [_] Crafts [_] Black market /
> > smuggling [_] Collectibles /
> > collections
> > [_] Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_]
> > Interrogation / torture [_] Household
> > pets
> > [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage /
> > reconnaissance [_] Fashion clothing
> > [_] Border disputes [_] Mutually Assured
> Destruction
> >
> > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
> > questionnaire. Your answers
> > will be
> > used in market studies that will help McDonnell
> > Douglas serve you better in
> > the
> > future - as well as allowing you to receive
> mailings
> > and special offers from
> > other
> > companies, governments, extremist groups, and
> > mysterious consortia.
> >
> > As a bonus for responding to this survey, you
> will
> > be registered to win a
> > brand
> > new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
> >
> > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> > Please write to:
> > McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing
> Department
> > Military Aerospace Division