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Exerpts from the Queen Mum's books of condolence

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  • 12-04-2002 10:35am
    #1
    goose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 52 ✭✭


    "I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our
    very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in
    the face".
    L.Ward, Mansfield.

    "When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did.
    Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the
    rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".

    A.Christie,Hendon.
    "She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are sh1t"
    J.Clement. Grantham.
    "I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
    D.Holmes, Somerset.
    "She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was

    visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the
    cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the

    Nazisand I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter,

    who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it
    was sickening".
    B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
    "She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington,
    Penrith.
    "I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the dayoff".

    S.Wilson, Bristol.
    "How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
    family without being accused of being homosexual".


    J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
    "Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
    experiment with drugs".
    E. Franks, Cheshire.
    "On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".

    T.Watson, Ilford.
    "Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around
    The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
    Y. Howell, Slough.


    "Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman should
    have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"
    W.Waugh, Richmond.
    "It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
    K. O'Neil, Inverness.

    "I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
    public duties".
    N. Wallace, Swansea.
    "I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible

    event"

    E. Thompson, West Lothian.

    "Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"

    P.McGregor, Southampton.
    "We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers, anything to

    help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin".
    R. Thompson, Bath.
    "I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again

    until her majesty is buried"
    E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
    "Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".

    R. Combes,
    Romford.
    "No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile.
    Just like a retard"
    G. Hollins, East Sussex.
    "I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so

    kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know
    its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of sh1t'. She was a wondrous
    person".


    E.Collier, London.
    "Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
    G.Williams, West Midlands.
    "She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she
    perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us
    in a good way. God bless you ma'am".
    L. Weller, Harlow.

    "If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless
    bastard!"

    J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    SheroN
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,972 ✭✭✭SheroN


    you're a clever chappy.


  • Options
    #3
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    Just to aviod confusion, I think Sher's replying to the muppet who posted something nasty whose comments I have deleted.

    I've had that thing sent to me 3 or 4 times already today and it's still funny.


  • Options
    #4
    Spiffing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 536 ✭✭✭Spiffing


    If fake :/


  • Options
    #5
    goose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 52 ✭✭goose


    as opposed to the other "real" postings on the humour board?


  • Options
    #6
    koneko
    Registered Users Posts: 10,304 ✭✭✭✭koneko


    fake, real, whatever. Thanks for that goose, made me chuckle :)


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  • Options
    #7
    yellum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    oh my thats funny, the tears are rolling down my cheeks


  • Options
    #8
    Spiffing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 536 ✭✭✭Spiffing


    Originally posted by goose
    as opposed to the other "real" postings on the humour board?

    This is supposed to be real though, and the others weren't.

    Funny anyhoos.


  • Options
    #9
    saik
    Closed Accounts Posts: 293 ✭✭saik


    who said it was supposed to be real?


  • Options
    #10
    Baz_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,660 ✭✭✭Baz_


    Originally posted by Spiffing


    This is supposed to be real though, and the others weren't.

    Funny anyhoos.

    no its not, no-one said it was, and if they had boards would probably be susceptible to some legal action, but its just some made up humour, not real, and not pretending to be.


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