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13 rules for surviving a horror flick

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  • 17-04-2002 3:05pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,234 ✭✭✭


    1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check
    to see if it's really dead.

    2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

    3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just
    gone out.

    4. Never accept invitations from strangers, especially
    individuals who inexplicably live in isolated areas and have no
    contact with society.

    5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to
    Hell.

    6. If you're searching for the cause of a noise and find out that
    it's not just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value
    your life.

    7. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

    8. No sex, beer or partying! Any of these activities will surely
    seal your fate.

    9. If you find a town which is deserted, it's probably for a
    reason. Take the hint and stay away.

    10. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure
    you know what you're doing.

    11. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which
    are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog,
    the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

    12. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
    deserted-looking house to phone for help.

    13. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple
    guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines,
    lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any
    device made from deceased companions.


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