Where are they now???

ayatollah

We have all grown up knowing and loving the characters produced
by Walt Disney and his successors at the Disney company. From
Mickey Mouse to Aladdin, Disney has always given us something to
laugh at, somone to cry for, something to hope for, and a star to
wish upon. Now, however, it has been revealed by the Disney
corporation that the stars of these memorable cartoons may not
have been the paragons of hope and happiness we always thought
they were. Here, for the first time ever, are the TRUE fates of
your favorite Disney characters, taken from the secret files of
Michael Eisner himself...

Mickey Mouse

Died of venereal disease after visiting multiple prostitutes.

Donald Duck

Accidentally served as a main course at Epcot's China Pavillion.

Goofy

Assassinated during first term as President of the United States.

Pluto

Caught by dogcatchers, put to sleep after he was never claimed.

Scrooge McDuck

Died in extreme poverty after being audited by the IRS.

Huey, Dewey, & Louie

Involved in an underground child pornography ring.

Chip & Dale

Extracted from Richard Gere's colon.

Snow White

Fell for the old "apple trick" again.

Dopey

'Nuff said.

Sneezy

Died of pneumonia with Jim Henson.

Grumpy

Executed after gunning down 15 people in a local McDonalds.

Happy

Killed by insane gunman at a local McDonalds.

Doc

Was sued for malpractice, lived the rest of his life living under
bridges and eating out of cat food cans.

Sleepy

Never woke up.

Bashful

Now a stripper with the Chippendales.

Mary Poppins

Shot down over Iraqi airspace.

Christopher Robin

Male prostitute, died of a heroin overdose.

Winnie The Pooh

Had a heart attack caused by a cholesterol level of 570.

Piglet

Gunned down in a mafia hit.

Eeyore

Committed suicide.

Tigger

Accidentally bounced off the edge of a cliff.

Rabbit

Died of an aneurysm while watching over his garden.

Roo

Smothered to death by Kanga.

Kanga

Put to death by the state.

Alice (Of Wonderland)

Institutionalized for life.

The Mad Hatter

Died of mercury poisoning.

Dormouse

Drowned in a teapot.

The Queen Of Hearts

Guillotine.

Tweedledee & Tweedledum

Died of excessive weight loss at a fat farm.

Sleeping Beauty

Slept until 1986, contracted AIDS from "Prince Charming."

Cinderella

Killed by stepsisters and stepmother in a jealous rage.

Pinnocchio

Is now a very comfortable Ottoman.

Jiminy Cricket

Died after impacting a windshield at high speeds.

Figaro

Strung tightly on a Les Paul guitar.

Dumbo

Sucked into the engine of a 747.

Peter Pan

Christopher Robin's lover, committed suicide in despair.

Tinkerbell

Caught by some kid who forgot to punch holes in the lid.

Bambi

Shot by NRA member with an AK-47. His body was never found.

Baloo

Is now decorating the floor in front of a fireplace.

Mowgli

(see Huey, Dewey & Louie)

Lady & The Tramp

Sold to a Cantonese restaurant.

101 Dalmations

Sold to the Ringling Bros. Circus, were eaten by lions.

The Rescuers

Involved in cancer research.

Jessica Rabbit

Backup singer for Guns 'N Roses.

Aladdin

Was caught stealing one too many times, is now being traded
nightly at Leavenworth for a pack of menthols.

Abu

Shot into space by NASA.

Victor

Nice to see Disney claim them all as their own.

Spunog UIE

i heard donald duck got fired cos of all the porno he did???????!!!

then over dosed with some men with tits, always the way isn't it, in fairness.