Words of wisdom

goose

Words of wisdom from Toilet Walls : -

Some people come to sit and think.
Others come to sh1t and stink.
I come here to rest my balls and
Read the words upon the walls.

Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and
sh1t on the ceiling.

I FCUKED YOUR MOTHER!
to which someone else wrote:
GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK!

(Sign posted in a bathroom:)
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!

Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

I do not like this place at all:
The seat is too high and the hole is too small.
[In another handwriting]
You open yourself to a simple retort:
Your ass is too big and your legs are too
short.

Written on the toilet paper dispenser:
'This toilet paper is like Clint Eastwood;
They're both rough and tough and
don't take sh1t off of anybody!'

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated
throughout the entire performance.

Our aim is to keep the toilet clean. Your aim
would be appreciated.

Written above a urinal in the mens restroom:
We are urinals! We don't take no sh1t!

In one persons handwriting -
I love Amy M.
In someone elses right below it -
Who hasn't?

Written on a bathroom wall:
"Question Authority" and written beneath it:
"Why?"

A sign I saw at a swimming pool once:
We don't swim in your toilet,
so please don't pee in our pool!
Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

In days of old
When knights were bold
And paper wasn't invented
They'd wipe their ass
On a clump of grass
And walk away contented

For a good time, call ###-#### and ask for Mary.
For a BAD time, tell Mary where you got this number.

As you sit to take a sh1t
Rest a while and think a bit.
The last time that I beat my meat,
Was on this very toilet seat.

Sign over urinal in mens room in Cambridge,
Mass. bar near Harvard:
We don't sell our beer, we just rent it.

Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make
your food...please aim properly.

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to sh1t out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away.

You're holding your future in your hands!
Someone had added:
And it doesn't look too promising!

(written above a urinal)
Why are you looking up here?
Are you ashamed of it?

If your hose is too short,
Or your pump is too weak,
You'd better stand close,
Or you'll piss on your feet!

Rabies

very funny

Chowmein

N1

Shiminay

Nice.
Another good one I saw was above the wash area in an office toilet, someone had put up a poster with the word "Think" - I guess as some sort of motivational thingy. A few days later, someone had written under it: "Thoap"

BLITZ_Molloy

Christ.. I've actually seen about 3/4 of those in public toilets. It's nice to see some budding transcripters ensuring this ancient art isn't lost by over zealos pub refurbishment.

azezil

/me rushes out to toilet with long list of funny's

Dont be at yourself

Originally posted by goose
Sign over urinal in mens room in Cambridge,
Mass. bar near Harvard:
We don't sell our beer, we just rent it.

Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make
your food...please aim properly.

Brilliant!