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Sipping Vodka...

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  • 27-04-2002 1:14am
    #1
    Lisaq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 ✭


    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
    speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
    1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
    2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
    3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
    4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
    5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
    6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
    7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
    Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
    8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.
    9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
    don't say he was stoned off his ass.
    10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
    11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said,"Take
    this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
    12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
    13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanksfor the grub, yeah God.
    14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.


Comments

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    #2
    Minerva
    Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭Minerva


    Vladimir drank too much wodka... (right click, save target)

    its what you all want to hear.....
    F I N G E R M O U S E


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    #3
    thedrowner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,287 ✭✭✭thedrowner


    oh..are you in fingermouse? which one are you, i might know you....


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    #4
    Minerva
    Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭Minerva


    nope...theyre friends of mine.
    theres Dave, Conall & Johnny...any idea which one you know?


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    #5
    thedrowner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,287 ✭✭✭thedrowner


    my ex boyf is dave's good mate, so i've met him a few times. the bands good..dave was in a nother one..cant remember who they are, but the band anme had someone's name in it


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    #6
    gilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 89 ✭✭gilly


    Hey...Daves last band was called Red Clown, and the only difference is the lack of James Guilmartin, well and the complete change of music style, of course...lol


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    #7
    thedrowner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,287 ✭✭✭thedrowner


    that's the name of it, the james guilmartin band.


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