movie quotes

dogfood

"people need to be entertained they need the distraction, i wish i could something to block out the voices in my head, voices that scream over and over why do they come to me to die? why do they come to me to die?"

might be slighly off but i got the gist



ok...best bit ever......
"my name is Maximus Dcimus Meridius. Commander of the army in the north. General of the felix legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife......and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

CLASSIC!

ives

Here's one for ya....

" I know what you're thinking...you're thinking, did he fire six shots or only five? Well, in the confusion I kinda lost track myself. But seeing as this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off...you gotta ask yourself one question...do I feel lucky?...well, do ya...PUNK!"

..now thats a quote....!

pdebarra

"Wake up! Time to die!"

from Blade Runner. Legend movie. This quote is sampled at the beginning of Therapy?'s Meat Abstract, on the Babyteeth album. Excellent song. But you knew that.

clevenger

eh negative ghost rider, the pattern is full

Kali

"listen. strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
supreme executive power is derived from a mandate of the masses not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
i mean you cant expect to weild supreme executive power just cause some watery tart threw a sword at you..
I mean if i went around calling myself an emperor just cos some moisten bint lobbed a scimitar at me theyd lock me away"

"help help im being repressed!"

Kurdt

my signature from happy gilmore...

shep the malevolent pixie

"so the one legged jockey says 'don't worry 'bout me baby, i ride side saddle!'"
from some like it hot. i love that movie...

"d'yeh think he's compensating for something?" -shrek

"do you know...the muffin man?"
"the muffin man?"
"the muffin man."
"yes, i know the muffin man...who lives on drury lane?"
"well....she's married to the muffin man."
"THE MUFFIN MAN?!"
"THE MUFFIN MAN!!!"
"she's married to the muffin man...." -shrek

sHep :cool:

lamda

Ah im with you Kali...gotta be the Monty Python boys.
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" And the black knight when his arm gets hacked off..." Its just a flesh wound"
Ah and Joe Pesci in Goodfellas...
"I amuse you?" Classic.

thedrowner

not just movies....my favourite quotes come fromthe young ones , i can say the entire first episode (demolition) off by heart practically!
"guys, there's some dinner on the floor if you want it....but if you dont that'll also be cool like, coz i only spent all afternoon making it, andi was the one who got it together to put the lentils on to soak, but maybe we should just get a cat, and give it to the cat, coz it's obvious none of you guys wa-guys? guys? Maybe it'd be cool if i just died, right?
me and my cousins used to act it out...i was always rik...hmmmm

another quote i love is from blackadder:
blackadder> deny EVERYTHING baldrick
lawyer type person> is your name private baldrick
baldrick> no
LTP>but you do work for captain blackadder?
Baldrick> no i dont
Blackadder> oh ocme on baldrick it's me!
Baldrick> no it isn't

ive never actually seen blackader i just know of that quote!

"and monkey's brains, though popular in cantonese cuisine are not usually found in washington dc" the butler, clue
the whole colonel mustard/butler speech when he's trying to find out if he's a butler or not is also class...

Kurdt

"Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil, and served to our first hundred customers. Ha ha ha...just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records."--Gina

from...hmmmm....empire records:)

Vladimar

"I don't know Charlie, they could be witches or something"
"That's even better!
Hot lesbian witches, think about it, it's ****ing genius!"

John Malcovich & Charlie Sheen - Being John Malcovich

LA_girl

"That's what I like about them high school girls... I keep gettin' older, and they stay the _same age_."

Wooderson from "Dazed and Confused"

"My name is Enigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"The Princess Bride"

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
etc."
"The Shining"

crow

"Dick Laurent is dead"


From the greatest film ever made... Lost Highway.

rachel

from...hmmmm....empire records

and basically the rest of the script... such a great great film...

Pencapchew

" Daddy would you like some sausage" - Freddy got fingered

kranog

My personal fave.....
A free popstar single (when we release it in a couple of months time) to whoever can guess the movie it's from !!!

D'oh, Mr. Policeman, didn't you know that a clown can get away with murder ???

Classic...

Peace,
kranog

http://popstar.2ya.com

OLDYELLAR

i cant remember it exactly but it was in dumb and dumber about crossing a bull dog with a sh*tzu and calling it bullsh*t , it was flippin hilarious!

o sleep

from Donnie Darko (not sure how it's spelt) not an *exact* quote, but it's funny nonetheless:

schoolgirl 1: school's closed. they say it was flooded and the whole place was covered in faeces.

schoolgirl 2: what's faeces?

schoolgirl 1: little baby mice

schoolgirl 2: aww

well, it's funny when you see the film.

LA_girl

Dell - "A girl's got her feelings."
Fergus - "The problem is you're not a girl."
Dell - "Details, baby, details!"

from The Crying Game

The Evil Monkey

You get my slapped with a fine, you fight with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us chased out of a funeral by violating a corpse. To top it all off, you ruin my relationship. What's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

Clerks. you gotta love Kevin Smith!!

Kali

Originally posted by The Evil Monkey
Clerks. you gotta love Kevin Smith!!

hey try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!

hey you got any balls up there?
bout the biggest pair youve ever seen dingleberry!
or the hello this is rs video calling.. i need to place an order for one each of the following tapes.. cum buns 3, cum guzzling naked sluts etc. etc.
hey i thought i told you two to stop dealing in front of the store!
im not dealing man..
*kid walks by*
hey man you want anything?

ahh quote overload.. and i havent even started on the berserker bit

The Evil Monkey

yeah but my favourite is Mallrats!

Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!

My grandmother always said, "Why buy the cow...when you get the sex for free."

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat! I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy

Brodie is one of the funniest characters in film! god i love that man!

Kali

breakfast? breakfast schmreakfast. breakfasts come and go renee but hartford they only beat vancouver once maybe twice in a lifetime.

(ahh hell hath no fury like a womans scorn for sega)


its impossible, lois could never have supermans baby, her fallopian tubes could never handle his sperm, guarantee he blows a load through her like a shotgun

The Evil Monkey

Brodie, I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse," I did it. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the covers in case your mother barged in, I did that too. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your sh.it with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious f**king disappointment!

the happy hobo

"THE SIGN ON THE BACK OF THE VAN SAID CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD. YOU DUMB ****"-from J and Silent Bob Strike back.

Oh and Silent Bob's big legal stuff talk at the end was pretty damn funny too.

fat toni

nobody can say it quite like pacino......



"let me introduce you to my little friend"........kabooooooom


the classic .......scarface.

Space Coyote

One of the funniest imo

Drill Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Hacket...

"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f***ing beings!
You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian s**t! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more
you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair!
There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on ni**ers,
kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps!
Do you maggots understand that?"

Nervous Wreck

"You sucked 37 d*cks?!"-Brian O'Halloran(Dante), Clerks

"Call me Donny"-Ben Affleck(Shannon Hamilton), Mallrats [this quote is hilarious if you know the movie]

"She said 'f*ck', you said 'f*ck'; you said you f*ck that girl"-Jason Lee(Banky), Chasing Amy

"Snooch to the mother-f*ckin' nooch"-Jason Mewes(Jay), Dogma

"Hey Affleck, you was the bomb in 'Phantoms' y'all"-Jason Mewes(Jay), Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

Macseamusa

fat toni, i was going to put that quote up
i think thats prob my fav qutoe from a film.

in monty python in the search for the holy grail. i dont know the quote itself, but its when the knights are being asked the 3 questions and arthur comes up and asks the guy whats the air speed velocity of an african swallow...class

now i've got a machine gun. hohoho

i think...

Cozpyro

See Below!

Carroll

One of my favourite movie quotes has got to be from Airplane...

"... Roger Roger, we have clearance Clarence. What's our vector Victor..."


also... from the Life of Brian

.."He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"

And I loved in Star Trek:First Contact, when Worf said..
"Assimilate this" while he had a phaser in a Borg's mouth.

oh, I did laugh!

C.