short story

Acidflash

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The
only friction
in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when
he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one hanksgiving
morning as she
was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she
looked at the bowl
where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the
spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
husband was
sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the
elastic waistband
off his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some
time later she
heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a
blood curdling
scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The
wife could hardly
control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as
she asked him what
was the matter. He said,"Honey, you were right." "All these years you have
warned me and I
didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one
day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by
the grace of
God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back
in."

OLDYELLAR

thats the funniest thing i heard in a long time haha

Spunog UIE

grace of god eh.

ha ha. brillant.