Why Star Wars is soooo SH^%T!!

JacquesPompidou

Ok I admit the first Star Wars films were Ok. They were similar to King Arthur Legends, and Lucas took a lot of good material from French American and German films like "Metropolis", "The day the Earth stood Still"..

So why is the new Star Wars trilogy so cr..ap?

10 Reasons

Today I look at Attack of the Clones and Phantom menace

1 We already know Lukes Daddy is Darth Vader so "No Drama"

2George Lucas hasn't directed a film in years hence the cra..p camera Shots When Anakin is crying on Tattooine, he starts to cry and the tears are running down his face, but then they disappear and his face is completely dry, then there are more tears, and the same thing happens again



3JarJar binks breaks every rule in film, theatre and Drama. When A character is not in the action, or not talking he should NOT move. Thus why Jar Jar becomes an anyoning distraction in both movies. The Graphics guy over did it here, he looks to Bright and Shiny and Bounces around like a peice of "Flubber" on speed.

4 Useless editors: one second Natile has clothes in the next shot she's like a Las Vegas stripper. In the scene where Natalie Portman is escaping the creatures during the Gladiator style execution, something seems to have been edited out. At the start of the scene her outfit was essentially a white jumpsuit. She climbs up the column to undo her chains and now her top is baring her midriff. She is then clawed from behind by a creature and the top is then shreded from behind. What ripped it the first time?

5Once a funny little toy, R2D2 now becomes a Rambo action hero
attacking Storm Troopers with Lasers, missiles and ICBMs.

6Bad props and Costumes: Qui-Gon's comlink is a Woman Gillette Sensor Excel Razor.

7Useless Make up and Hair crew: Obi-Wan's braided hair keeps changing sides, and getting longer and shorter, most noticeably in the scenes around the underwater city.

8Scattered about Watto's junk shop are a number of stolen items from other films. You see the Star Wars FX team couldn't be bothered making new stuff.......A Space Odyssey's probe, and the head and shoulders of the Terminator's metallic skeleton

9Bad Sound:
On Naboo, when they are planning to take over the palace just after the Queen asks R2 to project the map of the palace - watch her lips, they aren't in sync with what she says.


10Worst Edit again: In the chamber room near the end of the movie, after the Queen throws the guns to everyone and goes to address the Viceroy, she starts to walk away from her chair. While she is doing that, you can distinctly see her lose her footing and slip on the floor. In the next edit she repeats this movement without slipping

11Awful Graphics: Have we progressed since Rodger Rabbit? When Jar-Jar jumps into the water, it is too cartoonish looking; his jump looks nothing like what it would in real life. I know he's not a real character, but he's supposed to be.


:mad: :mad:

JacquesPompidou

I hate Star Wars:mad:

The Gopher

This reminds me of Comic Store Guy on the Simpsons to alec baldwin
"Excuse me sir,but i have a brief list here of technological,archeictectural and structural faults in the submarine from The Hunt For Red October"
Still i never seen star wars so my opinion may be regarded as ignorant to the discussion.Considering its one of the worlds biggest film franchises how come its never on tv?Maybe id actually be interested if they would show the story from the first film.

Spiffing

I love Star Wars, and heres why. Because I enjoyed it. I don't care how many mistakes there are but it adds that little bit of fun into my life.

KdjaCL

So what your saying is there ARE NO space ships???

Jeez man its only a movie.
Kdja

LoGiE

Posted by JacquesPompidouI hate Star Wars

Well thanks for letting us know but if i wanted to read about the various goof's in episode one i'd have looked at IMDb. (considering you hate them so much i don't think you took the time to watch the movie repeatedly for mistakes)

Today I look at "The Wombles" and "Attack of the Wombles"
1 We already know Wombles don't exist so "No Drama"

2 Great Uncle Bulgaria hasn't directed a film in years hence the cra..p camera Shots When Bungo is crying on Wimboldon Commen, he starts to cry and the tears are running down his face, but then they disappear and his face is completely dry, then there are more tears, and the same thing happens again



3 Wellington breaks every rule in film, theatre and Drama. When A character is not in the action, or not talking he should NOT move. Thus why Wellington becomes an anyoning distraction in both movies. The Graphics guy over did it here, he looks to Bright and Shiny and Bounces around like a peice of "Flubber" on speed.

4 Useless editors: one second Bungo has clothes in the next shot he's like a Las Vegas stripper. In the scene where Bungo is escaping the creatures during the Gladiator style execution, something seems to have been edited out.(bare ass nudity) At the start of the scene his outfit was essentially a scarf and a hat he climbs up the column to undo his chains and nowhis top is baring his *snip*. he is then clawed from behind by a creature and the scarf is then shreded from behind. What ripped it the first time?

5Once a funny little toy, Orinoco now becomes a Rambo action hero
attacking Londoners and dog walkers with Lasers, missiles and ICBMs.

6Bad props and Costumes: great Uncle Bulgaria's comlink is a yogurt carton and a piece of string

7Useless Make up and Hair crew: Orinoco's braided hair keeps changing sides, and getting longer and shorter, most noticeably in the scenes around the Tobermory's workshop

8Scattered about Tomsk's junk shop are a number of stolen items from other films. You see the WomblesFX team couldn't be bothered making new stuff.......A Button Moon probe, and the head and shoulders of Zippy from Rainbow

9Bad Sound:
On The commen, when they are planning to take over the palace just after the Queen asks Orinoco to project the map of the palace - watch his lips, they aren't in sync with what he says.


10Worst Edit again: In the chamber room near the end of the movie, after the Queen throws the guns to everyone and goes to address the Viceroy, she starts to walk away from her chair. While she is doing that, you can distinctly see her lose her footing and slip on the floor. In the next edit she repeats this movement without slipping

11Awful Graphics: Have we progressed since Rodger Rabbit? When Bungo jumps into the water, it is too puppet looking; his jump looks nothing like what it would in real life.(obviously) I know he's not a real character, but he's supposed to be.(A non human)

With a thread heading of Why Star Wars is soooo SH^%T!! your looking for a serious flaming! for shame.... Star Wars is entertainment at it's best sure it borrows from other fils/stories but then again doesn't everyone?

phaxx

Originally posted by JacquesPompidou
We already know Lukes Daddy is Darth Vader so "No Drama"

Oh shut up.

2George Lucas hasn't directed a film in years hence the cra..p camera Shots When Anakin is crying on Tattooine, he starts to cry and the tears are running down his face, but then they disappear and his face is completely dry, then there are more tears, and the same thing happens again

Whinger.

3JarJar binks breaks every rule in film, theatre and Drama. When A character is not in the action, or not talking he should NOT move. Thus why Jar Jar becomes an anyoning distraction in both movies. The Graphics guy over did it here, he looks to Bright and Shiny and Bounces around like a peice of "Flubber" on speed.

I'm not sure what I think of jar jar, but I still think you're a whinger.

4 Useless editors: one second Natile has clothes in the next shot she's like a Las Vegas stripper. In the scene where Natalie Portman is escaping the creatures during the Gladiator style execution, something seems to have been edited out. At the start of the scene her outfit was essentially a white jumpsuit. She climbs up the column to undo her chains and now her top is baring her midriff. She is then clawed from behind by a creature and the top is then shreded from behind. What ripped it the first time?

Sorry, nope, you can just shut up here, she looks fine so I don't care if she's missing part of her clothes in the next shot!

5Once a funny little toy, R2D2 now becomes a Rambo action hero
attacking Storm Troopers with Lasers, missiles and ICBMs.

*rolls eyes*

6Bad props and Costumes: Qui-Gon's comlink is a Woman Gillette Sensor Excel Razor.

*rolls eyes* again

7Useless Make up and Hair crew: Obi-Wan's braided hair keeps changing sides, and getting longer and shorter, most noticeably in the scenes around the underwater city.

OHE NOE HIS HAIR SI TEH MUTATING!!1

8Scattered about Watto's junk shop are a number of stolen items from other films. You see the Star Wars FX team couldn't be bothered making new stuff.......A Space Odyssey's probe, and the head and shoulders of the Terminator's metallic skeleton

...SO?? Who cares! it doesn't make a difference. Whinger.

9Bad Sound:
On Naboo, when they are planning to take over the palace just after the Queen asks R2 to project the map of the palace - watch her lips, they aren't in sync with what she says.

Uh-huh. It's fine everywhere else in the film. Are you bitching about just a few seconds out of something like two hours?

10Worst Edit again: In the chamber room near the end of the movie, after the Queen throws the guns to everyone and goes to address the Viceroy, she starts to walk away from her chair. While she is doing that, you can distinctly see her lose her footing and slip on the floor. In the next edit she repeats this movement without slipping

*yawn*

11Awful Graphics: Have we progressed since Rodger Rabbit? When Jar-Jar jumps into the water, it is too cartoonish looking; his jump looks nothing like what it would in real life. I know he's not a real character, but he's supposed to be.

Again, whinger!

DiscoStu

i have a feeling there will be more flames in this thread than in jango fett's flame thrower.

although those cheezy "wipe" scene transitions annoyed the hell out of me.
Homer: Star-wipe to flander's face

koneko

Whinge whinge whinge. Cry like a baby do you Jacques?
If you don't like Star Wars, don't go and see it. The film isn't meant for people that hate it, obviously.

Personally I enjoyed it. I took it for what it says. Part of the Star Wars story telling. A feast for the eyes. Muchos fun, I'd recommend it. I'd also recommend Jacques takes that stick out of his arse and goes to see a Disney film instead.

Makaveli

Or maybe he should just sit in a dark room for the rest of his life so he wont have to watch anything at all and get annoyed by simple little mistakes.

Saruman

Complete muppetry JacquesPompidou ... and yes absolutly spot on Koneko.. why did he go see it if he hates it so much? And so early too? it was only released yesterday.. I can only assume he did not see it and pasted some flames from somewhere else..

I saw it last night and have to say it was brilliant.. in fact in some ways it was even better than the original 3 movies.. at least it was better than "Empire strikes back" in my oppinion!

Slydice

first thing i thought when i read this

http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20020317

Mr E

He is so much of a muppet that some of this "mistakes" are exact copy&pastes from movie-mistakes.co.uk

Plonker....

Draco

Troll.