"I love you"

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

azezil

Women throw around the 'L' word way too freely. I rearly hear a guy say it. I wouldn't say it unless i really ment it, and i'd tell the woman that, i'd have to be very seriously commited to a woman b4 i'd say it.

smiles

I've had guys tell me that they love me, once or twice i've had the reaction: "No you don't" cause it was too soon/too obvious they didnt.

In general someone would usually say it to me first, but once or twice I've said it, through nervousness and whaever it thens to be difficult to say.

When you dont love them back? I'd say "I'm pretty damn mad about you too"

<< Fio >>

azezil

Originally posted by smiles
When you dont love them back? I'd say "I'm pretty damn mad about you too"

lol


I'd probably do the same, use some witty comment or facial expression to avoid saying it!


I knew/ know this young one, never went out with her yet she kept saying "I love you", i always replied with a sarcatic comment and a laugh, actually i reply to most statements that way!!

sceptre

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt

Has any male used these words first in a relationship? I have never. My mates tell me they have not either. And the girls all say they were first. I have been put in that position twice in the last 9 months. Why must it be said? Why do women ask it? Its almost an off the cuff remark to be made by them I think? Do they not understand the pressure it creates inside the head?

Sometimes a big thing. Said it first to my current girlfriend.

Do you just go..” I love you to” back? When you don’t mean it?
Do you say..”hold on a second now”?
Can you just say it and not care?
Are you man enough to say..look what we have is good but….

Do you have an advanced way of saying “me too” without using the words I love you? Can you share it with me?

I've told the odd woman that it's too soon for me to know. But I'm good at doing that and making it sound like a good thing. Makes it seem like more if I ever get around to saying it.

As a trick, there's a way of hugging a woman after she says it first that gets you out of the situation totally

CHRISTYG

I LOVE saying "I love you" to Roberta, then getting the reply "I love you too" and knowing deep down that we both really mean it. We then launch into an intense hugging and kissing session, which is FUN!!!! So saying "I love you" IS very important!!!

Thanx 4 The Fish

I don't think that you should even think about saying the three little words. When you do not have to think about saying it then you know it is the right time for it to be said. I have said it to a couple of people and meant it every time. I love my GF and have told her so, I told her before she told me ( Well at least I think I did, she has since mentioned that she said it to me when she was drunk but I reckon that does not count) and the reaction I got from her was astounding. I couldn't even imagine how bad I'd feel if I had said that to her just for something to say and it had illicited that response. As for the getting out of it when it is said to you part, I have found that one of two things work for me.

1 If it is way early in a relationship and it most likely is not true :- Act shocked and then discuss it with her.
2 Tell her that she is someone that you could see yourself falling in love with and that when you do tell her She will know that it is true.

The Sweeper

The most dangerous people in the whole world are the people who say 'I love you' just because they want to hear it back.

spaczed

well if your used to throwing out witty comments, and you are in the "I love you-" situation you can always use "yeh, i love me too">laugh, hug.

it usually leads to a warm, but inconclusive result

pauldeehan

"yeh, i love me too">laugh, hug.

Damn, I always do that!

Tazz T

I can't say it unless I mean it. Which brought about the end of a few long term relationships.

Sometimes you don't need to say it - you just know.

WhiteWashMan

yes, i said it first to my girlfriend.
shocked her a bit i think.
and i tell her all the time.
and damn it if i dont mean it too

Mr.Applepie

Originally posted by azezil
I'd probably do the same, use some witty comment or facial expression to avoid saying it!

Or maybe fake a seizur therefore completely changing the topic;)

I'd probably go for an "i love me too"

TacT

Once after 3 months a girl said that to me and I totally freaked, broke up with her and she now hates me.

In another relationship after just over a year I was given the three words and I reacted in kind with an "I love you too" although I knew deep down something wasn't right about it and she broke up with me 2 months later.

Last but not least after a year and a half I was given the three words and we talked about it, I couldn't say it for the sake of it although my feelings for her were v.strong and I managed to convince her that it was too soon for us to be thinking about each other like that

I broke up with her due to sheer fear and we are now vg friends and who knows what may come in the future


All in all I feel it just has to be said naturally, I see people say it and to me it would seem they are saying it for some sort of extra security or to fulfill some emptiness in their lives or just to settle for the person they are currently seeing, only time will tell

Corega

To be honest in this idiots perspective "I love you" is no way to express love, love has got to be exprssed in ways that words can't describe, but I'm an idiot so what would I know:)

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Corega

Mercury the moment you said I have a t-shirt I kinda dozed off.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Gordon

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt


I have a t-shirt that says...

Merc, I don't think Corega was talking about you when he mentioned the idiot thing. I think he was talking about being a fool for lurve (cue Barry White).

Lolo

Fo what it's worth, my boyfriend said it first.

Saruman

New question... is there any such thing as Love? Or is it just a real strong attraction to someone?

Lolo

Of course there is, but the problem is the English language only has one word to express the kinds of love you feel for your significant other, your parents, your best friend, your favourite band and your favourite food.

alb

Originally posted by Saruman
New question... is there any such thing as Love? Or is it just a real strong attraction to someone?

Doesn't it being a real strong attraction to someone make it a such thing?

IRISHLILY24

This is a good question.
I have been told I love you, by guys I was dating on 6 occasions, and only one of them was sincere , I was propsed to by 2 of them and the one that I believe was sincere asked me to move in with him. Men are strange creatures I broke up with all of them within a week of hearing those words as it freaked me out that they could say that and I didnt feel the same way towards them, and the 2 that wanted to marry me, psychos! how can you want to marry someone that hasnt expressed their love for you, and I didnt...I mean I had strong feelings for them, but marriage? that's nuts. I have only ever met 1 person that I thought I could spend my life with, and we ended up just being good friends. Life is funny that way
any way, I only said it once, and after I said it I wished I hadnt because it didnt feel right...I was seeing one of them off at a bus station and it just slipped, ughh mistake.
oh well, live and learn. I "love" everyone, but when you are dating someone or in a relationship , to utter those words it holds different meaning.
I love life and everyone I come in contact with, and I can tell my family and best friends that I love them, so why is it complicated telling someone you are "with" that you love them? because you should love them to be with them, but you may not be "in" love with them, ya know....oh well I am rambling now

Saruman

Originally posted by alb


Doesn't it being a real strong attraction to someone make it a such thing?

I think some people did nto understand the question.. IRISHLILY24 understood it though...

What i wonder is.. Love.. is it something different to a strong attraction? Im talking about Love for someone of the opposite sex (or same ff your that way inclined!) and not parental love.. thats another topic...

Anyway is it this magical thing thats different to liking someone a hell of a lot?

IRISHLILY24

Yes Saruman,
It is most definitley different. Having a strong attraction for someone will not last forever...it's like lusting after someone, once you've got past that, what have you got?
Being in love with someone, I feel, is something that should last a lifetime, usually these things start out as great friendships...having things in common, relating on many levels etc...
if you are able to see yourself spending a lifetime being with a person and always wanting to be with them, I think that is love.
if you are dating someone and they are great "but" then you probably know it isnt going anywhere and you may love them but your not 'in' love with them. Marriage should never be the "next step" in these cases, it should be something entered into when both people cant imagine ever being without one another, growing old together, etc...
Being in love is great, but how many of us ever really find "it"
I have loved many, but never really been "in" love.
There is definitley a difference.;)

Think I have gone astray in my thoughts again, lol sorry:p

amp

I only say it if I really mean it, and I'm not in fact saying it just to please someone or if I happen to have intense, probably highly sexual feelings for them.

But then, I've had more games consoles then girlfriends so what do I know?

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24
Yes Saruman,
It is most definitley different. Having a strong attraction for someone will not last forever...it's like lusting after someone, once you've got past that, what have you got?
Being in love with someone, I feel, is something that should last a lifetime, usually these things start out as great friendships...having things in common, relating on many levels etc...
if you are able to see yourself spending a lifetime being with a person and always wanting to be with them, I think that is love.
if you are dating someone and they are great "but" then you probably know it isnt going anywhere and you may love them but your not 'in' love with them. Marriage should never be the "next step" in these cases, it should be something entered into when both people cant imagine ever being without one another, growing old together, etc...
Being in love is great, but how many of us ever really find "it"
I have loved many, but never really been "in" love.
There is definitley a difference.;)

Think I have gone astray in my thoughts again, lol sorry:p

yeah, but your single for a reason.
becuase you talk an awful lot of rubbish.

Clinical Waste

But then, I've had more games consoles then girlfriends so what do I know?[/QUOTE AMP]

What a cool Tshirt this would make!

Lolo

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan



yeah, but your single for a reason.
becuase you talk an awful lot of rubbish.

I think she was making perfect sense! And she's probably single because she wants to be, judging by her sig.

The only thing I don't agree with her on is the whole concept of love being something that has to be "for life" - I've never agreed that a relationship that lasted a few years and then ended is a "failed" one. Relationships have life-spans, it doesn't make them any less valid, or mean that you loved each other any less, just because they didn't last a lifetime. Most human beings are much better suited to serial, rather than life-long, monogamy.

Jim Daniels

Love is Like a Bottle of Gin-

It makes you blind, it does you in
It makes you think you're pretty tough
It makes you prone to crime and sin
It makes you say thing off the cuff

It's very small and made of glass
and grossly over-advertised
It turns a genius into an ass
and makes a fool think he is wise

It could make you regret your birth
or turn cartwheels in your best suit
It costs a lot more than it's worth
and yet there is no substitute

They keep it on a higher shelf
the older and more pure it grows
It has no color in itself
but it can make you see rainbows

You can find it at the Bowery
or you can find it at Elaine's
It makes your words more flowery
It makes the sun shine, makes it rain

You just get what they put in
and they never put in enough
Love is like a bottle of gin
but a bottle of gin is not like love.....

The Magnetic Fields

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Lolo
Relationships have life-spans, it doesn't make them any less valid, or mean that you loved each other any less, just because they didn't last a lifetime. Most human beings are much better suited to serial, rather than life-long, monogamy.

In the form of relationship you advocate, it’s a simple case of two consenting adults being together until either wants to walk out. Grand.

Many long-term relationships are not that simple however. One party may have to sacrifice their own career for the betterment of the other party. Assets, from the purely material, such as property, to even offspring are mutually developed also. Finally, there are the familial bonds with each other’s extended families that become important components to such a relationship. The practice of marring someone, in part, because of complimentary careers or family connections is not all that uncommon.

Hence, there are many cases where a more binding commitment is preferable by either or both parties. I’m not advocating either serial or life-long monogamy; just pointing out that the justification for either is different.

Still, returning on-topic: No. Not since I reached adulthood. Has it been said to me? Rarely, perhaps once or twice - generally by bunny boilers. I think you tend to hear more diplomatic terms, the older you get, given the word’s clichéd reputation; like “you’re the only man/woman I’m interested in” or “I don’t know how I’d live without you”.

Lolo

All very true (re. assets, offspring etc.) - it does make splitting up considerably messier, but I still think that a relationship that lasted 15 years and produced kids etc. isn't a failed one, it just ran its course.

I hope I never reach the kind of 'adulthood' where a proffession of love is considered the carrying-card of a 'bunny-boiler'. (I wish somebody would make a film with an obsessive make character so that an equivalent male term can be coined).

IRISHLILY24

HMMM,
I am curious WWM, why you think it's rubbish?

LOLO, thanks...I also agree with you that because the relationship ended after a few years it does not mean it failed, it has just run it's course. some people cant stay in love forever, so they move on...in these cases, perhaps they were not with the "one" but one of many. Everyone is different, no relationship can be generalized and no one can say what's right for another. We all have our opinion on what we think life should be and what a relationship is...it's all in how you are raised, we are products of our environments after all.
Corinthian also makes good points, as he usualy does

I prefer to live in the illusion that I will find a love that will last a lifetime, but not at this point in my life, I have a lifetime ahead of me for that...and yes WWM, I am single...and lolo hit it on the head,
read my sig

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Lolo
All very true (re. assets, offspring etc.) - it does make splitting up considerably messier, but I still think that a relationship that lasted 15 years and produced kids etc. isn't a failed one, it just ran its course.

If it was never intended to be a permanent arrangement, then certainly it wasn’t. If the original agreement was “till death do us part”, etc. then of course it was a failure as may of the decisions made in the relationship would have been made on the premise of this commitment.

I hope I never reach the kind of 'adulthood' where a proffession of love is considered the carrying-card of a 'bunny-boiler'.

With some luck if and when you say it will be both true and reciprocated, rather than a licence to stalk someone. In bocca al lupo.

(I wish somebody would make a film with an obsessive make character so that an equivalent male term can be coined).

Psycho?

Lolo

You don't really hear guys refered to as "a bit of a Norman Bates" very often though, and it's not quite the same thing either - I just don't like the way the term "bunny boiler" seems to be an exclusively female put-down, as if only women acted in that way.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Lolo
You don't really hear guys refered to as "a bit of a Norman Bates" very often though, and it's not quite the same thing either - I just don't like the way the term "bunny boiler" seems to be an exclusively female put-down, as if only women acted in that way.

Well, I don’t hear many women being referred to as ‘Bast@rds’ either, but you don’t see me burning any of my underwear over it

No one’s denying the male equivalent or stopping you from coining/using your own phrase or term.

Lolo

Originally posted by The Corinthian

If it was never intended to be a permanent arrangement, then certainly it wasn’t. If the original agreement was “till death do us part”, etc. then of course it was a failure as may of the decisions made in the relationship would have been made on the premise of this commitment.

I just don't think that people should attempt life-long commitment as often as they do.

Originally posted by The Corinthian

With some luck if and when you say it will be both true and reciprocated, rather than a licence to stalk someone. In bocca al lupo.

I say it quite a lot to my youngfella actually, and it is reciprocated, thank you.;)

amp

Originally posted by Clinical Waste
But then, I've had more games consoles then girlfriends so what do I know?

What a cool Tshirt this would make! [/QUOTE]

Well in fairness, I heard it from Sico first.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Lolo
I just don't think that people should attempt life-long commitment as often as they do.

I agree.

I say it quite a lot to my youngfella actually, and it is reciprocated, thank you.;)

Good for you.

OK, you're right I'm just bitter...

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24
HMMM,
I am curious WWM, why you think it's rubbish?

i think its rubbish because you chop and change what you say to twist about other peoples opinions.
you are one of the really annoying people who inhabit the internet, act as if they are about 17 and female, lol a lot because you think its cool, call everyone 'hon' in that oh so worldly patronising way and cant stand to think that anyone might disagree with you, or even worse, not like you.
you have yet to put up what i would call a 'real-world' answer, instead insist on spouting some fantasy world bull about the ideas of love.
just because you have had problems with people in the past who have said they love you. im getting a feeling that theres only one contstant in all these situations..... you.
you are the one who cant seem to cope with it. perhaps you should grow up. please dont go to ireland. we have enough 'irish-americans' to cope with without one more plank in the woodpile

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24
I prefer to live in the illusion that I will find a love that will last a lifetime, but not at this point in my life, I have a lifetime ahead of me for that...and yes WWM,

really?
you think so?
your personality seems to be off, so you better hope your looks keep.

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24
, I am single...and lolo hit it on the head,
read my sig

oh how deep and philosophical of you. i think therefore im single.
no you are single because you tell us you push people away.
any monkey with a keyboard can come up with something witty to say. hey look, it must be true, its in my .sig too.

koneko

People should do whatever they want to do, just for god sake don't tell people you love them when you don't. It'll just upset other people's lives and cause for more bunny-boilers (gotta love that term).


p.s.
WWM, are you psychic or something? Cos you just hit the nail on the head there, I'm just too nice to say it. (IRISHLILY24 This person is on your Ignore List.)

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

koneko

Jebus....hate to see you when you are not being nice.

Stop calling me Jebus!

Her.."I love you"

Him ..."I love being with you too" [/B]

Ha! remember that one. T'was good. Like the ole "I love you"/"I like you a lot too" one. or "I love you"/"Aw thanks". Ouch.

IRISHLILY24

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan


i think its rubbish because you chop and change what you say to twist about other peoples opinions.
you are one of the really annoying people who inhabit the internet, act as if they are about 17 and female, lol a lot because you think its cool, call everyone 'hon' in that oh so worldly patronising way and cant stand to think that anyone might disagree with you, or even worse, not like you.
you have yet to put up what i would call a 'real-world' answer, instead insist on spouting some fantasy world bull about the ideas of love.
just because you have had problems with people in the past who have said they love you. im getting a feeling that theres only one contstant in all these situations..... you.
you are the one who cant seem to cope with it. perhaps you should grow up. please dont go to ireland. we have enough 'irish-americans' to cope with without one more plank in the woodpile



really?
you think so?
your personality seems to be off, so you better hope your looks keep.



oh how deep and philosophical of you. i think therefore im single.
no you are single because you tell us you push people away.
any monkey with a keyboard can come up with something witty to say. hey look, it must be true, its in my .sig too.

I suppose I could reduce myself to yours and koneko's level, but I live in the real world and wont let "this" get me in a twist, you are afterall, a couple of computer identities sorry to disappoint you, but I have more important things in my life to occupy my time
I dont know why...but the word Spam comes to mind:rolleyes:

amp

seamus

Originally posted by amp
I only say it if I really mean it, and I'm not in fact saying it just to please someone or if I happen to have intense, probably highly sexual feelings for them.

Well, you told me you loved me! Does this mean that you.......oh I'm SO excited!! When can we move in together?! Oh puleeeeeaaaase? :D

Zero

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24

I suppose I could reduce myself to yours and koneko's level, but I live in the real world and wont let "this" get me in a twist, you are afterall, a couple of computer identities sorry to disappoint you, but I have more important things in my life to occupy my time
I dont know why...but the word Spam comes to mind:rolleyes:

Yeah jesus make sure you don't reduce yourself to WWMan's level. Imagine being that sad, talking to "losers" with no lives on the "Internet" that use "computer identities". Oh wait, you already are.....ah.


"I think therefore I am single"???

So how long are you going to "choose" to be single? You'll find in the end of the day that people who have someone to come home to will end up with a lot more of a life than a single girl posting to a chat board, calling people "hon", hoping that she is getting the spotty little nerds excited at the possible prospect of a ride.

How many times do we have to hear the "life" sh1te. "ooh, I have a life, I pull loads of birds/lads, I go out drinking all the time, I get lots of sex". Grow up, its all irrelevant. Nobody gives a shit. WWMan was the only person on this whole thread who gave any form of a normal answer to the original question.

You either love somebody or you dont, it's fuckin as simple as that. Anyone who is any way secure in themselves will say it if they think it and wont if they dont. And it's nothing to do with a commitment of any kind, people fall out of love just as easily as they fall in.

Yawn, jesus.

IRISHLILY24

WWM & ZERO
yawn is correct. get over yourselves, and one last comment...
When have I have called anyone hon? zero is backing up a comment that WWM made, that isnt true??? I have never called anyone HON in my entire life...not that I need to defend this point, I find it funny that 2 people are making a point about something that never happened...I think you have me confused with someone else, get your facts straight before you elaborate on them...This thread has gone totally off topic, spam anyone?
and that is all I have to say about that.:rolleyes:

Zero

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24

and that is all I have to say about that.:rolleyes:

(c)Forrest Gump

Monty - the one and only

Originally posted by IRISHLILY24

This thread has gone totally off topic, spam anyone?

Um no...it wandered slightly off topic, I have been keeping an eye on it.

It will remain open.

Continued flaming however will be deleted.