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Friends hate my friend

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  • 22-05-2002 10:06pm
    #1
    Caesar_Bojangle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,263 ✭✭✭


    I am a member of a large group of friends, but i have a problem which is all my friends hate my best friend, mainly down to the fact that he is eccentric and very hyperactive, he never knows when to give up such as if he thinks something is funny, he will go on about it for days upon days, and everyone is there with the urge of punching him in the face. (He is a member of the group too, but is only really in it because of me and an other guy who befriends him when he feels like it).

    They slag him off big time when he is not around, which he is aware of, sometimes to his face. He does likewise so its a mutual feeling.

    Dont get me wrong he is a sound guy, but he can become quite obsessive, he rings me at least 3 times a day, which is really annoying.( i have told him this, but he doesnt cop on, he stops for a few days then its back to the same as before).

    The summer is approaching, and it tends to get worse in the summer because of all the free time he has, he feels we must hang out with each other everyday. Which is a bitch because i have other friends too. He has other friends too but they wouldnt be that loyal toward him. (slag him too)

    Its driving me crazy, someone offer some advice.


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    #2
    Clintons Cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭Clintons Cat


    if he rings you more than once a day dont answer your phone.
    he will cop on sooner or later,
    If he brings the subject up next time you meet,tell him something like you were busy.but be non commital about it,if pressed say you were busy typing something up or paperwork or such
    At the moment the constant phonecalls have developed into a habit,It should only take a little while to break the routine.If he fails to get through to you he will have to seek out a new stimulus,like chocolate or something...


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    #3
    Caesar_Bojangle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,263 ✭✭✭Caesar_Bojangle


    If i dont answer my mobile he rings my house, then sometime he even rings my friends mobiles to see if i am there. Mostly he'd just call over to my house if he cant contact me, he's aware i just dont answer my phone. Its quite Freaky.

    I think he has a slight form of obsessive compulsive disorder because he mentioned something along them lines a few years back.


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    #4
    Gordon
    Registered Users Posts: 35,524 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    You gotta have a heart to heart with him (leave the horseys aside).


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    #5
    Caesar_Bojangle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,263 ✭✭✭Caesar_Bojangle


    Cheers, i'll see what good it does.


    No more horsey's.


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    #6
    Clintons Cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭Clintons Cat


    yeah if subtle hints are not working you are going to have to be blunt.I am guessing when you have approched this subject before he has laughed it off.
    Its a tough call but you've got to make it clear you do not appreciate the constant harrassment, say something along the lines of you need to have time on your own do your own thing.
    If he refuses to give you your own time and space you are seriously going to have to reconsider your friendship to this person.


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    #7
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    remember the movie 'Cable Guy'??????

    I have to agree, spend a day with him and then disappear for the rest of the week, that way he knows you are still his friend but he had better make a few new ones also.


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    #8
    koneko
    Registered Users Posts: 10,304 ✭✭✭✭koneko


    Eek. Ringing three times a day is definitely a little out of the ordinary.

    As suggested, best thing is to have a word. You know, a little I'm-your-friend-but-calm-down talk. If he's a sound guy and you like hanging out with him, he needs to know you're friends, not married.

    If he has OCD he needs to be taking medication. If it's impacting on his relationships with others, it's something he might want to consider (anyone else see As Good As It Gets). Might explain why your other friends find he's a little OTT (OCD can do that, my friend was the same).


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    #9
    Gordon
    Registered Users Posts: 35,524 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    OCD?


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    #10
    Clintons Cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭Clintons Cat


    OCD?

    obsessive compulsive disorder


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    #11
    Draco
    Subscribers Posts: 1,911 ✭✭✭Draco


    Originally posted by koneko
    Eek. Ringing three times a day is definitely a little out of the ordinary.
    Not for me and my mates. But I think it is due to the fact we don't physically see each other more than once a week, so phone calls have become our primary means of communication.


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    #12
    koneko
    Registered Users Posts: 10,304 ✭✭✭✭koneko


    True Draco. But when you see your friend all the time and they're ringing you and you don't want to talk to them, that's a situation that makes you feel a little uneasy. Unless it's mutual. But from the sounds of it, it isn't :(


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    #13
    pauldeehan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 544 ✭✭✭pauldeehan


    In my group of friends there are two guys who hate each others guts quite openly. But they don't let that annoy the rest of us and tbh they seem to let each other be. I think maybe you should ask your other friends to be a little more forgiving of your best friend.


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    #14
    jonno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,392 ✭✭✭jonno


    Stick by your best friend. You should also say something to your other friends about what they're saying behind his back.

    Then have a heart to heart with your best friend (if you're best freinds uit shouldn't be hard). Maybe tell him that teh others don't like the way he carries on and if he stopped being so obcessive, that it would be better for everyone. Be subtle though


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    #15
    Caesar_Bojangle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,263 ✭✭✭Caesar_Bojangle


    When i said best friend, i prob used it a bit loosely, its down to the fact i have known him 11 years, and to be honest i have become a lot closer with my other mates through the years.

    The phone calls are a bit extreme, he just rings me when he is bored and he talks for ages and i just basically dont bother listening anymore. This would piss me off even if it was my girlfriend ringing me 3 times a day.

    But i must admit he is a crazy F@*er when he is pissed, which is pretty cool. So he is my best mate when it comes to drinking otherwise he annoys the hell outta me.


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    #16
    yellum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Originally posted by Caesar_Bojangle

    But i must admit he is a crazy F@*er when he is pissed, which is pretty cool. So he is my best mate when it comes to drinking otherwise he annoys the hell outta me.

    I'm the opposite, when some of my friends are drunk I want to kill them cos they're so annoying. Might be the fact that I'm sober, they're pissed and I wish I could be.....


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    #17
    Blitzkrieger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    Maybe he loves you? ;)

    Tell him you don't want to hurt his feelings but his constant nagging is annoying you. It should find it odd that he's always the one who calls. If you've known the guy for 11 years you can surely break it to him gently.

    See the 'email this page' link at the bottom of the page?


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