Trying to meet new people

FizzyPants

Before you start I am aware of the many websites that facilitate dating and making friends (maybe). I refuse to pay money to those places. Besides most guys are there to advertise their knobs and the women are ........ i wont gereralise.

I do not want on-line/e-mail/IM/SMS relationships. I have had many and you would be surprise how far they went.

I dont want to be stuck in a rutt with this.

I've taken great steps personally to do new things, be more open and chatty to people, get involved in activities and meet new people anywhere and everywhere. When I get talking I find its hard to suggest "why dont we go for a coffee" or "thats interesting would you like to do whatever", and I never see them again.

I just want to meet more people, make new friends and get out there and live!!!!

I've a good job, nice car, a few friends that i go out with and do some fun activities with.

The best things in life are the other people you met and I want to know what you suggest the best way to meet, connect, network, new people is.


Cheers
fp

Gordon

Originally posted by FizzyPants

I just want to meet more people, make new friends and get out there and live!!!!

Well, thats why we have the afterhours board

DeadBankClerk

maybe boards dot eye eee.
The fun safe and confidential way to meet new people.
(sorry, couldn't resist)

Btw, is there anyway to meet new people in this country that doesnt involve the consumption of alcohol?

fisty

one way to meet new people is to join clubs - find something you're interested in doing - sailing/football/eating pies/making model aircraft from icepop sticks - whatever blows your hair back.
theres clubs for pretty much everything but the people in em can be pretty obsessive about their chosen club.

BuffyBot

You could also consider taking some kind of evening class/course - find one that interests you, and your bound to find people with similar interests.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

LOUGHLIN

You have a proplem that is not atypic to Ireland. Living in France I have seen people that have not got friends outside their working invironment and within their working environment they socialise with colleagues but that is all, not seeing them after work hours. It is not easy but I do not agree that the only place is in pubs or in places where there is drink, What hobbies do you have, are there any clubs for these hobbies. Look more deeply into what is going on around you, walks at weekends, fishing, climbing etc etc.

FizzyPants

Hi,
Thanks for replies. To the persone who wanted to know, yeah I'm male.

To the French person. I think you are right about Irish people, a lot have friends based around work. I have recently started a new job but have kept friends from college and my previous job.

I've taken up new sports and go to the gym. Frankly I find the gym the worst place to talk to people. Everyone is on edge there and either avoid making eye contact or is listening to thier Sony Anti-Social-Device.

I've tried to meet my friend's friends, but I know most of them anyway. I have met a few new people through friends but its only when my friends have brought them out. I never meet them without my friends being there. I guess I should suggest we meet up again or go to an event. Most... ok all but 1 of my friends is male so I'd like to meet some girls to. Just as friends, I dont want a relationship.


I'd like to join some sort of creative class, like drawing or painting. I am not an artist but would like to learn to improve. Can anyone suggest a good place to go?? South side/City centre is preferable cos that where I live and work.



fp

havok*

umm, Try the Personal Issues Board pre chance ?

FizzyPants

I posted this to Personals Board but Gordon mobed it here for some reason

Monty - the one and only

umm well it should be there not here... moved back

Enygma

Your friends choose you, it's not the other way round, chill out, if you haven't got any friends now then change your lifestlye, you're doing something wrong, don't worry about it, it happens everyone. Chill out and don't try too hard, or don't try at all, you seem like an intelligent and pretty cool person, I'd like if all my friends were like you, but of course they picked me, not the other way round!

And if you're worried about finding a girl, don't. Here, check it out, take a look out the window, see that guy wearing the adidas tracksuit with the funny shaped head? Yeah the guy who looks like he evolved from the shallow end of the gene pool, he managed to convince a girl to fall in love with him, surely you're not gonna have any problems! Go for it man!

LOUGHLIN

Hi, I think that Gym and swimming pools are the worst places in the world to meet people. They are ambiguous places. The minute someone talks to you in the gym you wonder whether they are chatting you up or not, the same goes for the swimming pool I do not go to the gym anymore mainly because of that. It is my private time and not for chatting up, not like going to lessons like art or something where it is normal to chat and make friends with people with the same interests. I used to swim for three hours a day and I would just dive under the water and do a lenght underwater if I felt that someone was going to talk to me. And yet I have no problems with talking to people at classes. I hope that you get more female friends as I think that it is real important to have friends of both sexes. I have a friend here in Paris who has the opposite problem, she is looking for male friends (not boyfriends) to chat to and it is not easy for her either. Good luck and let us know how you are getting on. But as the others said do not worry about it take everything in your stride and get confidence from the girls do not look as if you are chatting up every girl you see and also do not look them up and down as it puts them off.
Good luck

koneko

Don't go for the Gym or Swimming pool. When you go there, you want to work out or relax. You're not going to be as open to meeting your next "partner" as you would in a social place.

Go to the next Boards Beer
Perhaps go out with some colleagues from work, or organise something for the weekend with them. If they can bring their friends, you'll widen that pool of people to pick from

Don't worry. Relax. Feel comfortable. The better you feel about yourself, the more people will be attracted to you. You'll meet the person you want to be with when you least expect it probably.

Gordon

Sorry for the game of thread tennis Fizzypants!

So it seems that there are two problems that you are experiencing. One problem is actually meeting new people, the other is seeing these people again and again for a friendship.

The meeting people problem is difficult. Some suggestions that I have are... try the supermarkets (there is in fact a particular supermarket that is renowned for Thursday being gay night)... try getting a second job for one night a week in a bar or a kitchen of a restaurant... and the boards beer of course

Keeping in touch with people after meeting is more difficult I guess. If you push too hard they will not want to keep meeting you, if you don't ask them out for a coffee then they may not ask you. There is a fine line between pushiness and friendliness.

In that case try thinking up some interesting things to do that day so that if you meet someone new you can invite them along. Buy a kite - go to Dollymount beach and join in with the rest. Learn a computer game and meet up with the myriad of people on boards that play "LAN" games (whatever that means ). Get involved in charity work and get on the streets in your spare time. Go up to homeless people on thew street and have a chat with them, buy them a coffee for a change.

Let us know too

BEAT

Originally posted by FizzyPants


I'd like to join some sort of creative class, like drawing or painting. I am not an artist but would like to learn to improve. Can anyone suggest a good place to go??

fp

Well, I can teach you to paint I am not available until august, but its free and can be an exhilarating experience if you use your imagination

FizzyPants

WOW the response I've gotten here is great
I've lurked on boards.ie for a while but this has been my 1st tread & post. Its great

Enygma, what you say is so true, I've never realised it, you are right, your friends choose us. Obviously it works both ways, and for it to work the other person has to reciprocate the friendship.

Yeah gym sucks for talking to people. I use the gym out in UCD and only ever talk to people I already know. I guess girls think you are hitting on them. The only excuse I have to talk to someone I dont know is to ask them to spot me or if I can work in on the machine between their sets. Otherwise its headphones and tv sets.

I'll pass on the gay shopping night

I've got a plan there are always evens on in town, exibitions, forigen films and theater shows that fall outside the usual social patterns of me and my friends. We tend to do the same things most weeks. Plus I don't want to be going out with them everynight cos we'd get sick of one another.
So the plan is to check out whats on, when I meet new ppl, find out if they are interested in the subject matter of the event and take it from there
Making it not sound like a date will be the hardest part!

ttyls
fp

Corega

Don't be so quick to the point, asking them out for coffee etc. will tell them straight away what your intentions are. First chat about their likes and dislikes and then I suggest that if you do find something in common, instead of going out for coffee say, invite them to a function which involves something that the both of you enjoy.


GL.

irishguy

i would recomend joining the FCA [now know as the RDF] you meet loads of new people,learn loads of new skills,travel all over the country.i met loads of good friends through this.give it a try

Corega

Hahaha. The free clothes association. omfg what a joke. The "reserve" army of Ireland. Hehe, my dad was in it all he did was sit around smoking and drinking tea.

SYL

irishguy, you forgot to mention that you also get some freebie threads from the artists-formally-known-as-the-FCA. Thats a good point too
As for Fizzypants......my tips would be to not try so hard, people are very wary nowadays of pushy people so try to ease off a bit. Get to know someone who smokes some gange on occassion & join them for a bit of a blowout. You should meet some very 'interesting' people there and share a few groundbreaking experiences too.
Forget Gyms, Pools, Nightclubs and even pubs to a certain extent. They are get-together spots, not meeting places. Get a pet and take it for a walk, you'll meet people like that (strange but true). In my experience, I meet a lot of people through my existing friends anyway, and that way you have a common link too.

thegills

From your replies you seem to have a lot of friends, mainly male. My suggestion would be to organise a night out with one or two of these friends who are used to being in the company of women. Try a bar where most people are your age group. Maybe one of your mates could then start some conversations with groups of girls, and then you piggy back in. Perhaps try the method used in the Meteor advert.
Unfortunately the majority of relationships begin in a bar or something, what are your hobbies. I live on the South side so maybe I could point you in the right direction.
I can also understand the gym scenario. Everybody is showing sides to themselves that aren't seen in the normal environment; bodies, strength etc. so they are naturally a bit sceptic.