love or not love

LegacyUser

I have this friend that in the beginning was very attracted to...found out he had a girlfriend and tried to stay away from him. He tried to stay away from me too but we like each other so well and have so much in common that we cant stay away from each other...so because he has been with his g/f for 5 years he doesnt want to leave her, he tells me he loves her that she is his security blanket, makes him feel stable but at the same time tells me he loves me to a point as well and that i am his best friend and thinks i am the best thing thats happened in the longest time, so we decided to be "just friends" we hang out and dont fool around at all, but every now and then we will sit and he will put his arm around me and we will just cuddle.
I think we have fallen in love with each other but , well, you can see my dilema. we hav'nt "done" anything because he doesnt want to cheat, but we have been to the point where we wanted to do something, its getting difficult to remain just friends.
I dont want him to leave my life so I would rather him a friend than nothing, but I so much want more...some people tell me time will tell, others say move on.
I have tried, when we go out together as firends, guys come up and ask me out all the time! it makes him mad and he steers my attention away from them and tells me he thinks they are no good etc... I am so tortured inside, I feel like I could lose it.
I have never been in a situation like this before
what should I do? Ask away, if you need more details or want them I will do my best.

Gordon

LegacyUser

hmmm, very interesting. So no would be the answer then...
have you ever been in a situation like this?
I am curious because advice is welcome, but from someone who has been through this it would help even more.
I did, as well, leave the situation alone but it keeps popping up.
I dont know what else to say.
I am sure it seems like a petty problem , but it is rather heart wrenching for me at the moment.

Gordon

Well, i wasn't saying that it's all up to you really.

i haven't been in that situation exactly no. It does seem like he is better off with this other person, it does seem like he is wanting to have his cake and eat it. He wants to be with his girlfriend but gets jealous of you being wiht someone?

My first piece of advice is to go out with someone else, take a small break from him - you are being intoxicated by him, he is a powerful guy(?) Go out with one of those guys that asks you out. Have fun with someone else again.

At the end of the day - you could end up getting hurt after he shags you and leaves you for his girlfriend. Hey, he could really love you - who am I to know. But maybe he loves his girlfriend more.

I know it's hard though, and painful.

LegacyUser

thanks
you are right.
I appreciate the advice...I have really tried to stay away from him but he keeps popping back into my life. I have turned down so many dates because of this, he is a strong presence in my life.
I think perhaps the next time I am asked out I will go.
I cant imagine having as much fun with anyone else, I guess thats what it is....you are also right when you say I am intoxicated by him.
After this weekend I wont be seeing as much of him because I am moving to the othre side of town, so I guess that will help me along in my process of separation.

Gordon

Excellent, go out with someone else and come back and dish the dirt

rrRRRAAAaaaooww!

LegacyUser

Think I will do that this weekend, I will let ya know how it all works out.

WhiteWashMan

lifes too short to wait around.
if you want something then get it.
if its unobtainable, stop wasting time and find something else that makes you happy