never annoy a parrot

azezil

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the cheque. By the way, don't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you, but, whatever you do,...do NOT under any circumstances talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But, just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, The parrot drove him nuts with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Spike."

BKtje

lol n1

swiss

Lol n1 azezil

Speaking of parrot jokes

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky you cow!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky you bitch!" Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now,bitch, or I'll give you a slap."

Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly you're a lippy bastard!"

memphis

good one azezil. i like it!!!!

nanook

thank you
i needed that

there is always something to smile about, cheers

nanook

i feel shafted
this was posted recently and i didnt even notice it

n.catenthusiast

a man walk into a pet shop, looking for a present for his wife.
the owner offers him $100 for a talking parrot.

the man agrees, but then the parrot wispers to him "piist! i haven't any legs, i'm not worth near $100". "okay", says the man"but how do you stay balanced on your perch?" it turns out the parrot wraps its dick around the perch.

so the man buys the parrot, and his wife is delighted.

the next day the man returns home, and the parrot tells him that his wife and the postman were ripping each others clothes off earlier on. the man, shocked, asks what happens next. "i dunno" replies the parrot "i fell off my perch".

Mossy Monk

that was great