Men are from Mars...

jd

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well,here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an AmericanUniversity.In an in-class assignment he announced, "Today we will experiment witha new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person willpair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep thestory coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wishto say must be written on the paper.The story is over when both agree aconclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of the English students:
Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

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STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him
too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
the question.

---

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than
the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
said into his transgalactic
communicator.
"Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before
he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit
sent
him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

---

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited
her
and bored her. She stared out the window,dreaming of her youth - when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to
become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

---

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through congress had left Earth
a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the
treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to
pulverize the entire planet.With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The President,in his top-secret mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive
explosion which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other
Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We
can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the
sky!"

---

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

---

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
camomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of ****ING TEA??? Oh no I'm
such a
air headed bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon novels."

---

Asshole.

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Bitch.

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Wanker.

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Slut.

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Get f%^&ed.

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Eat ****.

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F&*% YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

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Go drink some tea - whore..

Samson

Very good.

This is presently on its way to every female I know.
ie. my sister

EvilGeorge

lol - thats gas!

Saruman

I reckon we could do this right here on the boards and see how long the story lasts... it would be good i reckon!!!

stevoslice

We' would need a bit of order though, no point in a person spending 10 minutes on a stunning paragraph only for another person to write two lines b4 him.

Saruman

Yes.. it would be fun though

Sangre

OMg i have never laughed so hard on boards, that space crap was so funny and pretty clever, they kept twisting it well, killing off both of them.
And that guy was right she was a ditsy air head who read too many romance novels

Kraken

why not create a board and have someone with nolife moderate it and every post has to be viewed before it is accepted.

Thanx 4 The Fish

Saw that a couple of years ago...
Still creases me though...

Saruman

Hey Kraken, what would be funny would be i would do a paragrapgh.. some fantasy Lord of the rings type stuf.. next one will be Azezil and it will be all sci fi... like "and the Azezilites came down in their ships and enslaved the Elves... The Wizard Saruman made a vain attempt before he was shot with photon Torpedos".. then you will reply back with "and then the ents came out of no where and smashed the alien motherships..." to which Devore will add "Then Devore cast Divine intervention and saw that what he had created was not good so joined forces with Cloud and sent a holy flood to wipe out the world and start again"

story over....