cant cheer up

LegacyUser

i am going through a eally rough patch in life , i am always in a bad mood , i cant sleep , i find myself crying for no reason , i have no appetite and dont seem to care about anything , or anyone , even myself .I cant seem to get out of this slump and it gets worse everyday , its really killing me , and i just cover it up when i am out with my friends , i dont know what to do . Its hard to explain and i dont want to talk to my friends about it .

sorry to hear you are feeling like that.
Quite sometime ago, I convinced myself, that the mind needs to be depressed sometimes, it's part of our being-so if I'm sad,or worried about something, I know it will pass.
Countless people you see every day are probably feeling a little , the way you are at times.
I can remember talking to someone a while ago, who felt hopeless,sad and every one was against them.
It took all evening:eek: but after that we discovered that there were several people that we both knew who were in situations, that had to mean that they were feeling worse!
Maybe it's just me , but i find switching off *completely* from what bugs me is a must.
And of course making a list of the funny people I know, and arranging to spend more time with them helps.

You will have to pour your heart out to someone at first though (choose wisely)-it's an essential release.
Hopefully you will get just as good a kick from the replies here:)

Best wishes
Madman

Gordon

There is always a reason for it, what is it? You must get to the bottom of it.

Are you going through puberty? When I went through puberty I made my parents go through hell. I was one of the lives and souls of the party when I went out, always out going and happy when out with friends. When I got in the house I would change in a flash and be mopey and depressed, not wanting to do anything especially with my parents. "Nothing is wrong" all the time though as I said.

It's difficult staying happy isn't it.

Three options I say...

1. Tell us more about your life, whatever you want to speak about if you think it is important or not.
2. Phone the Samaritans (they really do help). Their website is www.samaritans.org I can't remember their number off hand.
3. Pick one of your closest friends and ask to see them in private with some confidential information. Speak to them about it.
4. OK, 4 options... Speak to your parents?

TacT

5) if you can't get to the bottom of it yourself and have gone through the friends and other available channels, arrange a meeting with a guidance councellor who will get to the bottom of it and give you info you will need to get through it.

Seen a couple (literally two) v.close people to me go down with depression and have it dramatically affect their lives, keep smiling, gl

find what makes you happy and do it!

Oeneus

You should talk to your friends about this.

I have a friend who is like this and we know why. But she is refusing to talk about it so we can't really help her. Her Father died after Christmas and her personality has completely changed into something that we don't like, and she is refusing to let us help her so it's gotten to a point where we don't want to waste our time with her.

You need to talk to your friends.

Trojan

I know several people who have suffered from depression, and certain drugs proscribed for them have been quite effective at helping them, since it's not just "in the mind" - it's an actual physical problem (lack of certain chemicals in the brain) that can be treated physically.

Go to the doctor, explain how you feel, and perhaps get some professional treatment (I'm talking about drugs, not shrinks[1]).

Good luck,
Al.

1. Not that I'm saying they won't help either.

TacT

agreed, the longer you leave it the worse it can only get, tackle the problem like an american football player going for the last touchdown!

I know one sufferer who would outright refuse help, finally when the family had been convinced by friends/daughter/ex - husband that she was indeed in need of treatment, because she wouldn't accept any (she is a doctor so it wasn't surprising really).
Thus it came to a sad end where 3 members of the family had to pretend they were going out for drinks and they took her to a mental clinic where they each admitted her

She was so far gone, she refused treatment, would not take her medicine and when told not to drink with this or that, she would excessively, she will never be the same person again and it was nearly as bad as losing someone to death watching her go through what she did all while erasing all the incredible traits that made her the person she was
Then we watched her dig herself deeper and deeper into past memories, past happenings and get lost there with no attempts to move on or deal with it or go and seek help.

Well the morale of my story is don't let this go on anymore! Stop it now! Go out and do everything and anything you can to get through this and hopefully bring yourself closer to some of your friends and/or family in doing so!

You'll probably learn a lot more about yourself in doing so.

darthmise

I'm knid of reluctant to give adivce here but i do have a few questions for you.

Are you male or female?
What age are you?
Do you use any drugs?

Samba

Being more specific to the above questions, do you take Extacsy on a regular basis?

WhiteWashMan

regular excersise and getting into a routine of activity that you look forward to can make a big difference.
its getting the will power together to actually get of your arse and do it that can be the big problem.
depression will cause sleep problems, which in turn will lead to other problems due to tiredness, lethargy, apathy etc.

LegacyUser

me again , no I have never taken any form of drugs . this depression , as you might call it , has been going on with about a month now , my friends have noticed a change and want me to talk about it , but instead I go out and pretend to be the life and soul of the party to cover it up . also i have started getting into drinking a lot more recently , I am female and 20 which is why i find it so difficult to discuss a problem like this at my age .

LegacyUser

Well, I've actually been diagnosed with depression (link). Tehre is a list of symptoms there, I check out for most of them over an extended period. There is help out there, but sometimes its hard to ask or find or use (I'm asocial). Take it one step at a time, you don't have to do anything 'now', pace yourself and start by talkking to a GP.

There are a series of drugs including SSRIs (that provide 'normal' levels of Serotonin - the hapiness hormone) that are modern and don't have the side effects of older drugs, although there are some constraints.

I actually suspect much of my family suffers from depression, but can't / don't want to talk to them about it.

ykt0di9url7bc3

things always get worse!

so what, if you can make a difference to it, then act.
if not, remove yourself from the equation.....


as for depression
Eat 3 good meals a day, you'd be surprized how regular good food helps,

Go to bed early, dont stay up and watch crap on TV!

Dont think of what you are ging to do tomorrow, think what are you are doing now?

find something to do, writing groups, a new sport.....

Less of the internet! trust me, the internet is not for the depressed

And when you wake in the morning, GET UP AND GET OUT!

LegacyUser

And when you wake in the morning, GET UP AND GET OUT!

Do you know how insulting / patronising / stupid / uninformed this comment is? OK, fair enough I try to do something every day (even if it only means going to the shop), but the comments like this are like telling someone with a broken leg to go out jogging. There is a difference between being depressed and being lazy.

Gordon

Fair enough, we're just trying to help and get to the bottom of the problem.
It seems that more information is needed to cure the ailment...

darthmise

Ask yourself what it is that has you down.

Have you been through something lately?
Do you feel good about the person you are?
Where are you going in life?

Keep asking questions of yourself and if there is one that hurts you more than others, then at least you have a place to start.

No one here is going to type something and make it go away, you can only help yourself.

i am convinced that all people go through a phase in their early twenties, i can't describe it, but its like when your 12-13 you go through a physical change, i.e. puberty, i reckon you go through a mental one, one where you get down, and you think you're going mad.
But that is exactly the kind of pseudo- psychology you don't need.

Stay off drugs, even hash, and if it worries you enough go to your parents and to the doctor.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by SearrarD

And when you wake in the morning, GET UP AND GET OUT!

actually, it may be patronising, but its good advice.
patronising doesnt always mean insulting, it means being fatherly and giving advice.

its good advice, you have to make yourself active. depression is all about being lazy in medical terms. the will to do things slips away. you really have to push yourself and make youself.
try and find someone thing worth making the effort for.

and if youre friends wnt to help, is there any reason why you wont let them?

LegacyUser

A lot of people are depressed, You'd be surprised.
Im depressed, Im a manic depressant but a lot of my friends are depressed as well, Thats one thing we do have in common.

Last summer I stayed in all day, Everyday, didn't socialise, at all. It doesnt help. Being with your friends and socialising with your friends by your side helps an awful lot, You'll learn that your friends are the best and only thing in the world for you when you wanna talk to someone about the situation. Your parents aren't like that because your parents hold an opinion on you and you don't want to change that So I wouldn't recommend talking to your parents about depression because most people feel uncomfortable telling their parents about personal emotions and feelings their experiencing.

Listen to music, Explore your spirit, Learn whats good and bad for you. For every negative thought try to think of a positive one, It looks stupid, it sounds stupid and its very hard to get to work but it works in the end. For example, Something imbarrassing happens to you in a group of friends that kinda pisses you off.. It doesn't matter, Think to yourself.. "This doesn't change their opinion of me, Embarrassing things happen to us all".

This works for me. Maybe Im just totally different or im going mental also. but it works. Talking and experiencing is the best thing to do, love your friends, find out which friends you have more in common with. Sleep at other friends houses once a week or something, This is a new setting for you to live in and you experience a different life in a different house, etc. Give compliments to your friends, You'll receive them back, which will make you happier.

Eat as much as you can, Cooking, Preparing, and Eating a meal that you've made while listening to music or watching television at the end of the day can really cheer up a lot of people that are depressed. In my opinion its the simple things in life that make people happy, but for depressed people, Its also the simple things in life that make you depressed. Get up early in the morning, And call a friend over or something, Make sure its someone your comfortable around. Make sure you go out enough times in the day to actually tire yourself out and fall asleep at an early time (before 3am), so you can get up the next morning and have fun.

phobos

All I can say is that it's not easy. It's a crappy circumstance to be in, but it's important to know that it will pass (whenever that may be; sooner the better). I've been depressed lots of times, and coped with it badly on more than one occasion. But something that I've always done is put on a "happy face ", while in the company of others. There was times when I couldn't even talk to my mother about things that bothered me, and I found the problem got worse. I noticed a pattern between having nobody to talk to, and the depths of my depression. So I decided to do something about it (nothing BIG, but something; a step at a time, taking it easy). I found that talking to people helped, it was an excellent way to vent, whatever was bothering me. That was something that worked, and slowly I slipped away from all the badness.

I have gone through the "crying for no reason thing", on more than one occasion, and this is probably the most obvious sign that someone is depressed. Every now and then I could be sitting here at my computer, or doing something (generally on my own), and I would feel butterflies in my stomach, and feel like something terrible is wrong. The way my body reacted to this, is that I would start crying. I hate that feeling and it resembles, the feeling that I got when relatives died (so pretty much to that extent). It was horrible. I got to a stage where I knew if I didn't do something, it wouldn't get better. I went to a psychologist, and had many sessions, they put things straight in my head, and gave me something to do, in the event of those feelings ever returning. Initially they offered me medication, but I have (let's just say issues) with taking medication for something like that. So they said grand, and I continued to see them, twice a week in the beginning.

My biggest problem is that if people tick me off or belittle me or generally annoy me, I don't handle it too well. In the beginning the feelings weren't too problematic, but things started to escalate in my head at an exponential rate, and all of a sudden I would have panic attacks, and keep to myself, and generally go back to square one. Today I'm handling things like that much better than I used to, but the problem can get back every now and again. But I can definately say I have found ways to recover thanks to making that move, that was talking to people about stuff. You may say, well I can't pinpoint what is wrong with me, so what can I talk about. I say, talk about that!. Tell them you just feel depressed for no reasons you can think of. What goes on in your head is very complex, and you might not understand why you are feeling crap now, but people like psychologists are trained professionals that can get to the root of your problems (better than you can alone).

Anyway I rambled on there pretty much describing my own experiences. I don't want to make it sound all me, me, me. But if you've read the above stuff, then hopfully you can see similarities, and consider how I went about sorting out the problem. Depression is not going to disappear over night, and I can't guarantee you will never be depressed again, but life is good. I generally don't like hearing people saying "life's a bitch" etc, I have decided to believe that life is good, and that things always works out in the end.

;-phobos-)

l3rian

go for a walk in the grave yard and you'll soon appreciate all that you do have going for you

LegacyUser

spending your time in here doesnt help much..sorry im just in a bad form to, and i no linger go here, i find thid fourum very addictive and realy annoying?

its full of people who dont do things?

get me?