What are u drinking

Harmo

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were
asked if they could identify a customers personality on what drinks
they ordered.

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

WOMEN WHO DRINK:

Drink : Beer.
Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink : Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.


Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas eg; Scotch and dry
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink. . . . .


Drink : Water
Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach : Don't.


Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.


Drink : Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler, etc
Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has
absolutely no clue.
Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.


Drink : Baileys.
Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.


Drink : Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality : Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get
drunk...and naked (in that order)
Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.



IF MEN DRINK

As always, very simple and clear cut. . . .

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid. . . . .

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid. ..

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid. . ..

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid. . . .

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid . .

Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. .

Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his
mouth and still wants to get laid . .

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a Sophisticated
image and help him get laid. .

Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf...
Desperate to get laid. . . . .

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get
laid. . . . .

Whisky : He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone
who will get in his way of getting laid. . . . .

Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about
feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into
getting laid. . . .

Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid. . .

Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc : He's gay
(Blatantly) don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

Jimi-Spandex

LOL!

hmmmm, I drink guinness and JD, so that makes me a rapist who learns all about knitting and stuff to weasel my way into getting laid, I have to say thats scarily accurate, well mabye not

Lump

Hmmmmm WHere does Absinthe fall in to on that list


I think I'm someone who doesnt mind fighting any thing that gets in his way of getting laid.



john

The Gopher

Originally posted by Harmo





IF MEN DRINK

.

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid. . . . .

God how true
Does anybody over the age of 12 actually drink cider?Cider is what you drink when your down by the riverside with the lads waiting for the skeert to come along so you hope to get the oul soft royad,but is any cider acutally bought by anybody of legal age?

Shiminay

*ahem*
I drink Cider.

Not a good idea to insult a moderator on his own board...

Ruaidhri

Originally posted by Kharn
*ahem*
I drink Cider.

BUSTED! Kharn's really a 12-year old in disguise

i used to drink cider till about 3 years ago(i was 17 then)

Rabies

Originally posted by The Gopher
God how true
Does anybody over the age of 12 actually drink cider?Cider is what you drink when your down by the riverside with the lads waiting for the skeert to come along so you hope to get the oul soft royad,but is any cider acutally bought by anybody of legal age?

cider drinker here
i'm 22, guess i'm still a child.

mayhem#

Originally posted by Harmo
Whisky : He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone
who will get in his way of getting laid. . . . .

***GRIN****

Thanx 4 The Fish

Nothing like a Pint bottle after playing a match and I haven't needed laying or been 12 for that matter in a long time.

darthmise

So i drink cider and JD.
That makes me an underager who weasels his way into getting laid.
Wow i've come so far since i was 17.

OLDYELLAR

hmmmmmmmmmm so i`m low maintenance then ........groovy , so who`s goina challenge me to a game of pool then ?

TinCool

Originally posted by The Gopher

Does anybody over the age of 12 actually drink cider?

hey hey, easy on the cider bashing. I drink the stuff and I sure ain't no student.

Thanx 4 The Fish

Game of Pool anyone ??

OLDYELLAR

am yeah ok , doubles is it ?

Thanx 4 The Fish

Meslf and yourself against all comers is it or have ya got someone in mind to play as your partner ?

OLDYELLAR

na meself and yourself will do , we can take this whole damn town! .......................you should come to the session we`re having in waterford , then we could well and truly take em ?

Spunog UIE

heh heh, joke funny, old yellar you'll do anything to get ppl to go to your shindig in waterford eh? ....expect more pm's after this i'm sure. la la la

OLDYELLAR

yessum i will , but i`d also do just bout anything for a friendly game of pool sonny !

Spunog UIE

fair play, wouldn't we all...

wouldn't we all.

OLDYELLAR

so this mean , you is goina be my pool partner then Gideon ?

The Gopher

Calm down ciderholics-Im not dissing it,just saying that 90% seems to be illegally consumed:p

Tellox

Cider.
jesus that explains me all too well.

Thanx 4 The Fish

Goddamn it, I look away for a couple of minutes and lose a pool partner.

Spunog UIE

f u n n y

OLDYELLAR

mm i partner whoever buys the drink?

Trojan

Hmm, interesting.

This makes me an old, sofisticated, horny, under-aged,rapist-type, poor, student who likes good expensive beer, fighting, and doesn't give 2 $hits about anything.

But hey, I really like to get laid

Al.

(At least I can't stand JD or Breezers )