Not everyone will like you...

The Sweeper

Dunno if this will be moved, but here it goes:

I'm really curious about something that I've seen come up on the Personal Issues board time and time again.

The scenario usually goes that an unregi posts that they have strong feelings for someone (usually a girl). The issue is usually somewhere between 'should I ask her out' or 'she's my friend, will I make a bags of our friendship' or even 'I asked her out and she says she needs time'.

Invariably the responses get around to something along the lines of the following:

"She doesn't want you? Snog her best mate! Get yourself a babe girlfriend! Do something else to trample her utterly! That'll show her!"

Generally it seems to be a case of 'do something else horrible to her the bítch, how could she not like you'.

And then people wonder why declaring their feelings can screw up a friendship? Because it can be just as hard to reject someone as it is to be rejected. I mean, yeah, you have to have a hard neck and do what's right for you and all that, but I think that atitude should apply to getting rejected too. If someone doesn't like you enough to date you, deal with it. Just because one, (or two, or three... or ten, this is boards after all) person doesn't want to go out with you that doesn't make you undesirable.

Guess I'm just bothered by the level of resentment in here for the notion of a knockback.

Next step? Yer all a gang of stalkers...

So what do ye think? Is this supportive and natural advice that goes on in here, or have ye issues?

Gordon

I think you're missing the posts that aren't of that mindset.

Next step, continue stalking...

The Sweeper

No no, I'm not saying EVERY SINGLE response to a thread advises this, just that there's a lot of it out there. I'm curious as to why.

It is:

a) an effort to be supportive 'other fish in the sea' sort of thing?
b) sour grapes?

darthmise

A point well made, but i thought myself that when the advice: "She doesn't want you? Snog her best mate! Get yourself a babe girlfriend! Do something else to trample her utterly! That'll show her!" was being given, that it was a bit tongue in cheek.

Thats just the impression i got.

Gordon

I'd say that would be mostly supportive to be honest Majydee. It can be the best way of letting people know you're behind them sometimes. It does sound callous though yes. But, yeah, there is a small percentage of spite out there - not seen in PI as much as exists in the world though I'd say (relatively).

You still in Ireland Maj, or England now?

The Sweeper

I'm behaving badly on english shores at the moment Gordo, (sure have you not noticed fortress being a lot less about washing machines than it normally was?) and I have to say this is indeed land of the:

"Whadaya mean you don wanna darnce? Well wye don choo fack off beck weh yew came frohm then?" rejection response, so you're probably right, there isn't as much spite on PI as in real life...

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Gordon


You still in Ireland Maj, or England now?

sorry, this is off topic, ban yourself.



on another note, id say theres more people here of the 'if you dont get what you want, then píss it off' variety than in the 'other' world.

in fact, id go so far as to say people are pretty much mollycoddled here. people have their own opinions sure, and some people have their own style os transmitting their opinions (myself included there ), but there is definately and underlying current that if you dont get behind someone and support them, then you must be beaten down.
hell, people tell me im callous for telling people not to be so lazy and get up and get a job. to me its called living. to you its called being a student. six of one....

as for the level of critisism handed out towards people that actually give a devils advocate alternative, well, ifn you dont want to hear what people want to tell you, then dont post it on the boards.

is there a point.
probably, but im buggered if i can remember what it was.

oh yeah. i think that some people can be supportive for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way. at the end of the day its only advice from people who have taken the time to type an answer.
and at the end of the day, you can take or leave advice.

Gordon

Merc, you are so bad with accents, that was South African... sheesh.

Hope it goes OK with ye Majd, look forward to you being back on fortress!

/me totters off on me ellyphant to ban myself from PI, bringing along WWMan for flame baiting...

Oh and, yeah ^ what he said.

deco

Well you know the life a lonely boarder can live....

Chesseburgers and lonliness are a dangerous combination....

LegacyUser

men bitch about getting rejected. men have ego's.
what's your point caller?

SheroN

yawn

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by SheroN
yawn

this is off topic and adds nothing to the thread.
ban yourself too

The Sweeper

Originally posted by Unregistered
men bitch about getting rejected. men have ego's.
what's your point caller?

My point? Okay then...

Why don't you gang of whinging teenage nerds accept the fact that you're probably going to get laid at some point in your miserable lives, and get this kids, it might not even be BY YOUR MA. Some of you may even end up with a steady girlfriend. All right, so she'll probably have a face like a cow licking piss off a nettle and an arse like a bursted couch, but she'll be YOUR dog ugly bítch.

So if you fancy someone at this point in your life and she doesn't like you, get over it.

Most of you are too fúcking ugly to get a girlfriend anyway, that's why you're on boards. If you had personalities, lives and a remote chance of getting laid you wouldn't be here whinging about whether or not to take the chance that you might GET laid. And get used to rejection, because you're probably going to experience a WHOLE lot more of it

Originally posted by SheroN
yawn

There ya go, thought I'd brighten up your day and give you something to moderate.

Gordon

Gordon watches the level of spite in PI rise as he chokes on his tea and bisuits...

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Gordon
Gordon watches the level of spite in PI rise as he chokes on his tea and bisuits...

shes got a point though doesnt she.

its like the unwritten rule that its not mentioned, but shes got a point.

i knew me and merc_tilt were on the same wavelength.....

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

SheroN

the truth is a killer......never has boards hurt so much....

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Gordon

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan


shes got a point though doesnt she.

She always does.

The Sweeper

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
While I am here.......


Looks fade........


at 60 not a lot of people are attractive....


Cooking and cleaning skills never fade though.

Then you and SheroN better learn to cook and clean right now Merc coz you've been screwed from the outset. :P

Oooh! Look at that! Almost 5pm. Must dash.

/me waves cheerily

Dustaz

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels on an internet bulletin board


Most of you are too fúcking ugly to get a girlfriend anyway, that's why you're on boards. If you had personalities, lives and a remote chance of getting laid you wouldn't be here whinging about whether or not to take the chance that you might GET laid.

Listen up kids and heed the advice.
Failing that, one can always move to england.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

smiles

It appears to be a method of self-defense

"grrr.... arg...." you know, all that manly stuff.

:rolleyes:

<< Fio >>

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels


My point? Okay then...

Why don't you gang of whinging teenage nerds accept the fact that you're probably going to get laid at some point in your miserable lives, and get this kids, it might not even be BY YOUR MA. Some of you may even end up with a steady girlfriend. All right, so she'll probably have a face like a cow licking piss off a nettle and an arse like a bursted couch, but she'll be YOUR dog ugly bítch.

That’s kinda harsh. Ok you DO have a point. But it's steeped in bitterness and resentment. I mean I’m taking it for granted that you are out of your teens by a few years. And it seems to me that you forget what that time of your life is like. It IS hard on some people. It’s difficult to grow up in today's society and not believe you are going to fins your "true love" or marry a model or something along those lines. in my opinion this is from popular culture(pop music, Hollywood films etc) and well you cant be bombarded with this stuff for like 6-12 years without it effecting you in some form.

Most of you are too fúcking ugly to get a girlfriend anyway, that's why you're on boards. If you had personalities, lives and a remote chance of getting laid you wouldn't be here whinging about whether or not to take the chance that you might GET laid. And get used to rejection, because you're probably going to experience a WHOLE lot more of it

Now I think you are just being spiteful and bitter. Yes rejection is hard, yes no one wants not to be loved, but it's life. It’s how you learn to grow UP. During your teenage years you get all these new feelings and emotions and you have to learn to deal with them. And (most) people need someone to talk to. Even if it's just to listen and mutter something comforting. Going around abusing them is going to hurt them.

Calling just about everybody nerds and ugly as a cobblers thumb is not the best way to drive your point home (but it does have it's effect)



So I’m going to leave you with this: has someone you had a crush on ever rejected you? And if you did, did you need/want someone to talk to or just to listen?

Ruaidhri

Dang! the time it took me to write that i got logged out. the above post is by me
there just in case you thought i was being a coward.

Lex_Diamonds

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels

Why don't you gang of whinging teenage nerds accept the fact that you're probably going to get laid at some point in your miserable lives, and get this kids, it might not even be BY YOUR MA. Some of you may even end up with a steady girlfriend. All right, so she'll probably have a face like a cow licking piss off a nettle and an arse like a bursted couch, but she'll be YOUR dog ugly bítch.

*sniff*

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels


My point? Okay then...

Why don't you gang of whinging teenage nerds accept the fact that you're probably going to get laid at some point in your miserable lives, and get this kids, it might not even be BY YOUR MA.

Oh no! my ma won't shag me!!! I have failed in life.

Some of you may even end up with a steady girlfriend. All right, so she'll probably have a face like a cow licking piss off a nettle and an arse like a bursted couch, but she'll be YOUR dog ugly bítch.

Ah of course, the strength of any relationship is based on how good looking they are. Check out Hollywood. All those beautiful people in steady longterm happy relationships.

So if you fancy someone at this point in your life and she doesn't like you, get over it.

Wow, we never knew it was that simple. Simply say to oneself: "Get over it" and as if by magic all hurt gone! You should do chat shows.

We take it then, that you've never been rejected yourself?

Most of you are too fúcking ugly to get a girlfriend anyway, that's why you're on boards. If you had personalities, lives and a remote chance of getting laid you wouldn't be here whinging about whether or not to take the chance that you might GET laid. And get used to rejection, because you're probably going to experience a WHOLE lot more of it

All most likely true, except where does the boundary between the real world and boards end? Is posting angst on a web board different to saying it to a friend? Or a group of friends?

Also it sounds like there's a lot of anger coming from you. Why not tell the group your issues. Maybe it would make you feel better?

The truth is that there's a lot of hurt in the world and sometimes no matter if it's on the web or on the street, it's good to talk about it and get advice.

Shinji

Ahhh Gemma yer a charmer

There's no such thing as a man born who can quite understand how he can love someone and they not love him back. I assume it's the same for women. The male response isn't usually "grr, arg" either, it's usually "curl up inside and wish you were dead for a while"... Maybe with a little "grr, arg" on the outside as a protective shell.

Maybe it's Hollywood, maybe it's human nature. We're just not brought up to realise that you can love someone with all your heart, but they might not feel the same about you. Love doesn't conquer everything; in fact, love couldn't conquer a soggy paper bag at times. That doesn't sound so good as a lyric crooned out by a pop starlet, though.