Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women OVER 18

cujimmy

Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth

You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear

Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather

Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease

Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel

Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early

Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down

Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them

No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe

Sheep are never concerned about their reputation

Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up

Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time

Sheep never insist on eating out

You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel Gibson

Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late

Sheep don't smell like tuna fish

Sheep don't get moody once a month

A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one roll in the hay

A sheep never wears curlers and a mudpack to bed

A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon

A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car

A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains

A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay

A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy

A sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the refrigerator

A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheque on new clothes, none of which are see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom

A sheep won't care if you screw her sister

A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than she is

A sheep will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted while you're screwing

A sheep won't use you razor to shave its legs, or your pocketknife to open a paint can

Sheep never have a headache

A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom

A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work and pick up a box of tampons

Sheep grow their own fur coats

A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch when you're having friends over to watch football

Sheep won't cheat on you with your best friend

A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect her in the morning

Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex

A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up

A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator

A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning or kinky to do it doggy style

A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom

A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies instead of long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear levis with a hole in the seat, open beer bottles with your teeth

Sheep don't mind if you leave the lights on

Sheep don't mind doing it in the morning

Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup truck

A sheep will never use the excuse that: she just did her nails, it's too hot, it's too cold, you'll wake the kids, you'll wake the neighbours, she's too drunk to enjoy it, she's not drunk enough to enjoy it

A sheep will never leave you for a cucumber

bozzie

damn boy u really researched that deeply

u must have a l;ot of time(amount things)on your hands

btw mostly true exept sometimes a sheep will shag ur best mate

phreak

I've never really thought of sheep that way...until now

Ruaidhri

once you go wolly you wont go back

irishguy

thats it i am breaking up with my girlfriend and getting a sheep, its less hassle

OLDYELLAR

darn me becomes a woman over 18 thursday ,

sceptre

Originally posted by irishguy
thats it i am breaking up with my girlfriend and getting a sheep, its less hassle

Had a good conversation with GF about the gag reflex earlier. Something I was always curious about.

Looks like we've reached a healthy honest stage in the relationship. As long as I don't find thumbcuffs in my sock next Christmas.

Wook

Originally posted by sceptre


Had a good conversation with GF about the gag reflex earlier. Something I was always curious about.

Looks like we've reached a healthy honest stage in the relationship. As long as I don't find thumbcuffs in my sock next Christmas.

one word for your girlfriend man, have her watch 'deep throat' -cough-

stormkeeper

Originally posted by Ruaidhri
once you go wolly you wont go back

tbh, i don't fancy the idea of having wool everywhere