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Advanced mathematics ...

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  • 31-07-2002 11:44am
    #1
    Zoot
    Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭


    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

    Smart Man + Smart Woman = romance

    Smart Man + Dumb Woman = affair

    Dumb Man + Smart Woman = marriage

    Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = pregnancy


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC

    Smart Boss + Smart employee = profit

    Smart Boss + Dumb employee = production

    Dumb Boss + Smart employee = promotion

    Dumb Boss + Dumb employee = overtime


    SHOPPING MATH

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    GENERAL EQUATIONS STATISTICS

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


    LONGEVITY

    Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

    Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


Comments

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    #2
    eddhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 5,781 ✭✭✭eddhorse


    may do some study and learn them , they might come in handy with the whole getting through life thing !!:p


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    #3
    Aspro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 359 ✭✭Aspro


    Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

    I love it. Leave me alone ye coffin dodgers!!:D


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    #4
    Pugsley
    Registered Users Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    The last one is fackin class, good un.


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    #5
    phobos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭phobos


    Class :)

    ;-phobos-)


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    #6
    Hoojah Nickabolokov
    Closed Accounts Posts: 83 ✭✭Hoojah Nickabolokov


    niceone :D


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    #7
    Mutz
    Registered Users Posts: 822 ✭✭✭Mutz


    Brilliant :p


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    #8
    Ruaidhri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,719 ✭✭✭Ruaidhri


    some more really good adive :D man my whole life is changing around now :)


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    #9
    OLDYELLAR
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,230 ✭✭✭OLDYELLAR


    haha well class!


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    #10
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    lmao, i must try that...


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    #11
    sceptre
    Registered Users Posts: 19,608 ✭✭✭✭sceptre


    Nice one

    :D:D:D


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