Could YOU do Big Brother?

The Gopher

I know we all love to hate the crappy show but do you think that you could manage to sepnd 3 od months in there under constant gaze from sad c*nts watching the full 16 hours a day on E4?Im not sure.If the prize money were half a million or a million id be writing my application form in a flash.But could i really live somewhere worse than prison(with all its crap rules)for a measely 70 grand?70 is pathetic-C4 made a profit of 10 million i think.You could hardly buy a flat in the Ballymun towers for 70 grand nowadays,never mind anything else.I think the members of this borad would make great contestants.Why?Because unlike the British 99% of irish people detest the show and would know to rectify the boredom of the previous seriess.So basically id do it-but only for better money.Id probably spend most of my time roaring obscenities at the cameras about how ****e big brother actually is:p Doing that could probably get the voting rigged gainst me:( They are rumoured to have rigged it one year.Anyway,despite only spending 2 hours of the summer watching that rubbish i came to the quick conclusion that it wopuldnt be much fun.
Could you rise to the challenge and succeed?

LegacyUser

Yes

Pigman

70 grand for nine weeks work is tempting but my answer would have to be .... not a chance. For one I wouldn't want my privacy invaded to that extent. Secondly I know I wouldn't play up to the cameras to the extent that some of the contestants do , hense I'd have no chance of winning it.

No money, no way.

KdjaCL

No my smuggled in shotgun would be used on day 1.

But its more than £70,000 even the losers make more than that from appearing in it.
the prize money is a token for what they make after BB.

kdja

Pigman

Originally posted by kdja
No my smuggled in shotgun would be used on day 1.

But its more than £70,000 even the losers make more than that from appearing in it.
the prize money is a token for what they make after BB.

kdja

Granted the money's more than 70k if you're one of the happy-go-lucky 'fakers' aka Alex, Kate, Johnny or Alison all of whom are probably persuing careers in the media anyway.

However, I'll bet ya the tv-whores and advertisment execs won't be banging down the doors of laid back guys like PJ, Spencer or Sandy because they're not phoney enough to survive in the world of entertainment. So their earning potential probably isn't that high.

Dont be at yourself

Could I sleep till 2 o clock everyday, walk around in my underwear, do absolutely no work whatsoever and spend most of my waking hours sitting on a sofa? Hell, I do it already!

Shinji

What nakey said. It's quite odd - I'm fiercely protective of my privacy in some respects, and not at all concerned about it in other ways. I think giving it up for a few weeks and treating the whole thing as a gameshow more than anything else would be an interesting experience.

Sod knows what the world would make of me, though

(Frankly, I'm not sure how anyone can go that long without masturbating, either )

chernobyl

Originally posted by Shinji


(Frankly, I'm not sure how anyone can go that long without masturbating, either )

I can only assume that "fiercely protective" covers that.


..and not 5 angle, digital interactive coverage on it, because you know C4 would do it.

Pigman

Originally posted by Shinji


(Frankly, I'm not sure how anyone can go that long without masturbating, either )

Quite easily.

I'm sure living in a house with someone like Jade (walking around half naked most of the time) could turn off any sexual thoughts/functions I might possess.

pauldeehan

If I did do Big Brother I'd probably be voted out very early on and become subject to the hatred of the world. I'm just that kind of person...

I wouldn't do it, it'd be too boring and I'd miss a lot of good TV and films...

three

I would cope on the inside but when I'd get out I'd hate it. Photographers and fanatics following you around everywhere.

Winters

I would love to go on the show to totally mess it up. I would never do what 'big brother' says to annoy them.

On the first day i would go into a corner and stay there for as long as possible.
On the second day i would get a chair and break all thoese windows that are there with the cameras behind them. Run around in there for a while.
On the third day i would start my escape plan. I would get a small spoon and start digging a tunnel out of the garden.
On the 30th day with my tunnel built. Me and the chickens will escape to freedom. A ha! that is if i dont get kicked out in the process

Giblet

If you get evicted, just dont leave:) And if they try and send in the scurtee, and that would probably result in everyone besides you being asked to go into the bedroom, then make sure you get into the bedroom too.

Winters

Thats a nice idea. We could also get people to throw me in stuff over the walls. Also if anyone can parachute it would be nice of ya to drop in for a while.

Also, someone throw in a laptop and phone.... id give boards regular updates on going ons

The Gopher

Some great ideas in the last few posts:D I agree,if i were disciplined for some sh1tty little rule broken id organise a campaign of civil disobedience among the housemates(though it could only work if they all fiercely liked me).Activities would include things that would drive the "live"feed censors insane trying to keep up with the editing.I dunno-having the whole house walk around in the nip,piss all over the walls,defecate in the diary room and run for election to parliament in their constituency(wait-Im thinking of another similiar protest from a while back:p Though to be brutally honest Big Brother is filled with alot more sh1te than a H-Block cell could ever hold.)But yes,if disciplened i would try to organise a mutiny.And if they came into get me id have to rely on the strenght of crowds aginst the security men-though it would get tricky for my comrades to defend me if i were forcibly evicted when i was one of the last 4 contestants:(
And if i were evicted for rulebreaking for the fun of it id leg it up the stairs and back in when the next evictee was coming out,and incite a riot on the outside if they tried to take me alive:D

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Winters

All the members of boards should try to get into next years big Brother and then all go crazy once inside. anyone who didnt get in should then try to break into the house by means of a big Hummer and a lot of speed. Or parachute in as i have said.

I wonder what would happen then.

BuffyBot

Yeah, I'd love to it - just for a laugh. Rip the piss, play the game, have your 15 minutes of fame, then by the same time next year, no one will remember your name

I'm not sure the world would be ready (or will ever be ready!) to view my corpulant self in the shower etc etc

Stephen

I would think that the producers of the show have the contestants sign some kind of a contract before they take part, to ensure none of this boards.ie-style disturbance goes on

the show might be too interesting then you see, got to keep it as bland and boring as possible.

The Gopher

Originally posted by Stephen
I would think that the producers of the show have the contestants sign some kind of a contract before they take part, to ensure none of this boards.ie-style disturbance goes on

.

"God Ted their a maaadd crowd!"as Noel Furlong once said on Fr Ted.Seriously though it would make for some entertainment to see the board members locked up together for the whole 3 months.Me and Dustaz have always had a difference of opinion so one of us could possibly be leaving in a bodybag:p Though TBF hes got less of a chance of surviving seeing as Angelwhore is now locked in a bitter feud with him in the Osbournes forum.Me and Makaveli would probably spend the day arguing about the qualities and failings of realplayer(he hates the way i constantly flog it as the best streaming device on the net:p ).

RopeDrink

Funnily enough I'd give it a go.
I despised everything and anything that was BB since seeing the one with Brian (Whichever one it was that he won) yet after watching snippets of the latest one I found it mildly interesting.

If anything I'd do it to test my patience. I've already been slated by my father because of the mass ammount of time I spend indoors at home, or in my room, so I can't see how doing the same in the BB house, with no-one to boss me around (Except some bastard behind a mirror dishing out tasks every full moon), being able to drink all day, sleep all day etc etc

You can say what you want about BB, negative or positive, but the fact is if you haven't experienced it yourself you are not in a position to determine what will happen / what you do / what it's like etc

I find it interesting in a milked down, boring kind of way. I'll nab a camcorder and make my application video RIGHT NOW!

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> LOOK, IM OVER THERE

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OLDYELLAR

yeah, if i wanted to do time in the big house for murder using a very blunt object!

Shinji

Me and Makaveli would probably spend the day arguing about the qualities and failings of realplayer(he hates the way i constantly flog it as the best streaming device on the net ).

I think I'd side with him. Potentially while wielding a large blunt instrument of death. Realplayer is evil.

As is Angelwhore, for that matter.

Bard

Originally posted by The Gopher

Could you rise to the challenge and succeed?

Yes. Yes I could.

Prize money should be higher though. Half a mill- or more.

phobos

I don't think I could do it

I tend to curse an auful lot, and I know for anybody at home the constant sounds of chickens & flights in to Heathrow would drive them insane.

A lot of which has already been said, myself and my brother had thought of while watching the show. Stuff like

1. Not going in to the Diary room when asked
2. Not leaving the house when evicted
3. Requesting entrance to the diary room, and then sitting there staring at the camera in silence
4. Re-decorate
5. Throw items from the house over the wall (for collection later)
6. Tell BB you need a doctor
7. Place items in front of the cameras
8. Attach your microphone to a chicken

basically along those lines, and see what happens. What I hated was when BB acted all smug and disconcerned when asked did they worry about the BB contestants all walking out, over the divide. It was clear they had to search for someone who didn't have piss stains all over them to talk with dermot that day. Rebel against the "authority" I say, and see how they cope.

;-phobos-)

The Gopher

God Im lving these ideas!:D If all us Irishmen are like this then lets hope when they pick the next batch of Irish contestants it isnt another squeaky voiced little gimpy cont who runs around the house day and night like a monkey on E.Pick the dudes like us lot:) Of course reading this they would learn to steer well clear of irish contestants cos of the rebellions we are planning,though then again its not unheard of for the Irish to not obey the instructions of the Brits so perhaps they should know better:p Anyway,if i were going on id make a"to do"list-comprising mainly of things to do to piss off the man in charge.Including-
Apparently on eviction night yer one tells the inmates not to swear on live tv."**** no"says me."Sure why would i be coming out with any ****ing foul ****ing lingo?Ive nothing to be pissed off about!Luckily for me Im the ****ing favourite to win and so theres no ****ing need for me to be pissed.Ill miss the chickens when i leave-ive been going out and commiting beastiality with those whores every night.Which,for all the wee kiddies out there,means ive been ****ing the ****ing chickens in their ****ing a*se and their pu**y.****oing brilliaint.And as for all you anoraks who sit at home watching this live-**** OFF YOU DICKHEADS!!!!
Organise a big orrgy or at least a bit of nudist exhibitionism on eviction nights when the whole crowd can see it at ho,me and on big screens,giving the censors some headaches.
Set the house on fire.
Sneaking out at night to get some decent Maccy D.
Smuggle a ton of drugs into the house.
Say"**** you"at the cameras every 10 minutes.
Mention every 5 minutes that Big Brother is crap and it always has been.
Demand some rubbers on live tv so that everyone in the country will tune in to watch you riding-but spoil the chicken choking brigade by using them in a water baloon fight.

The Gopher

Me dont believe it-i amalmageted all my posts here into one post on a different message borad and got banned for the obscene language.Jebus-its a bit of humour for christ sake!That board has gone down the slasher in recent months anyway so i aint too arsed if im banned for life.Man-just makes me realise how superiour boards.ie is!

the celtic tiger

i'd definitely do it.
and i'd win too. I'm way sounder than all them.

Kolodny

Originally posted by The Gopher
Organise a big orrgy or at least a bit of nudist exhibitionism on eviction nights when the whole crowd can see it at ho,me and on big screens,giving the censors some headaches.

Didn't that happen in the last series anyway?

I had a drunken discussion about this with a few mates last week and despite being pretty sure that a few ex's would crawl out of the wood work and say nasty things, (although if any of them sell stories to the tabloids about me being fantastic in bed I'll be quite chuffed) I would consider applying. The prize money should be a bit more though - you're not guaranteed to make a fortune when you come out of the house.

I am also quite positive that I would be evicted fairly early on for being too drunk, too abusive or similar, but hey, it would be an 'experience'...

Winters

Allright.... we really should try and get someone into Big Brother and use everyones ideas.... think of the money I .. . sorry WE would make

Id love to see Angelwhore go onto big brother and ruin the lives of every other housemate

tman

the question we should be asking is- 'what can we do to make sure there isn't another series of this muck???'
one was enough ffs!

Caesar_Bojangle

The american winner gets $1 million so i think i'll audition for the american series first.

I would go on it if i was giving the chance, imagine when you come out of the house you could probably bed anyone of those saddos who watch the 16 hour live e4 coverage, worthwhile ehhh!!!!!

I'd do what i have been doing here all summer, get drunk, do alot of reading (if allowed books/magazines), play guitar, go to bed sometime between 2 and 5am then lie in bed till 2pm.

I suspect i'd be kicked off after week one, with my sarcastic personality especially if someone like jade was on it i'd rip the piss out of her stupidity 24/7, so i guess i would make good tv.

Only thing that would put me off, theres no privacy in the
shower or toilet and ending up like tim/adele public enemy number one.

Can i count on boards.ie to support the Bojangle Big Brother 4 Campaign?
For funding details please pm me.

Caesar_Bojangle

I would ask to see the doctor about a constipation problem and when he gives me the laxatives, oblivious to the other housemates of course. I would volunteer to make them tea every day for a week and drop a couple of tablets in their tea when no ones watching, then i'd watch them make toilet music, with just 2 toilets there would me some mess on the carpet, some might be desperate enough to use the shower and handbasin.

I would walk around naked all day and makeup a libelous comment after everything i say.

When told i was evicted i would go around throwing the chairs through the windows, smashing the mirrors, flash my penis at the camera, take a crap on the kitchen floor, all on live tv whilst they are waiting for me to leave the house until i am restrained by 10 securityguards.

During my interview i would sit there in utter silence for the duration of the 35 minutes and before the interview is over i would stand up and run outside bollox naked screaming "suck my balls davina, suck my balls", then do my best to get back into the house shouting "i am gonna come back and burn this house down then build my own house with even more cameras with flapjacks and hookers".


A vote for Bojangle is a vote for you!!!!!!

The Gopher

Originally posted by Caesar_Bojangle
I would go on it if i was giving the chance, imagine when you come out of the house you could probably bed anyone of those saddos who watch the 16 hour live e4 coverage, worthwhile ehhh!!!!!

But do you really think that there are any beautiful girls who have such a no-life theyre locked up 16 hours a day watching BB?My conception of the 16 hour per day fan is something more like the dude who used to star in those promotional ads for BB(he had a chicken,a foreign guy.He collected a load of memoribillia and was a real weirdo but funny.Cant remember the name)
God though,if i did win(or even if i didnt)id take a diabolical revenge on live tv for 3 months plus of imprisonment.

Pugsley

I dunno about being in it, but watching an hour of it would drive me to suicide