Rooster (contains scenes of an explicit nature)

RexLupus · 17-08-2002 2:14am #1

Farmer Paddy had a few chickens, but his rooster was after dieing. He went over to his neighbours farm and says "Séamus, would ye have a rooster for me?"
Says Séamus "I do, come on over here now I'll show him to ye."
So they go off to the barn where the rooster is kept. A fine looking yoke it is so Paddy offers 50 quid for it.
Says Seamus "Great stuff Paddy, but come here till i tell ye, hes a great rooster, but maybe too good. I tell, in 20 minutes hell have everythin shagged, so just make sure he doesnt over work himseld"

The deal is done and Paddy brings the rooster home. He lets him into the hens and the rooster goes ape****. He's running around shaggin left right and centre and sure enough, in 20 minutes all the hens are ridden. But the rooster still has a gleam in his eye and froth from his beak, and runs off towards the pond and shags all the ducks, then he spys some geese and does the deed there aswell. By this time hes slowed down enough for Paddy to catch a hold of him. "Will ye slow down to feck!, Sure you'll ride yourself to feckin death if you keep on like that!". Paddy then locks the rooster in the barn for the night.

The next day Paddy rises to find a hole in his barn, and all the cows looking like theyve just had a marathon session with a pirze bull. But there, collapsed in an untidy wreck on the ground is the prize rooster, with buzzards circling over head. Paddy walks up to the body and starts roarin "Ah fro jayses sake you fekin eejit!!, Didnt i tell you to slow down or itd be the death of ye!!"
To which, the rooster, raising one eyebrow slightly says "Will you feck off their gettin closer!!"