Too Long In Ireland

celbridge_star

Apologies if you've seen this one before, I pinched it from a Celtic website. Also, apologies if you're from Cavan



Too Long in Ireland ???
Subject: SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN DUBLIN TOO LONG

>
> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN DUBLIN TOO LONG
>
> > > 01. You say 'towin' when you mean the city.
>
> > > 02. You think it is perfectly normal to pay over EUR3.00 for a pint.
>
> > > 03. Anyone not from Dublin is a 'wanker'.
>
> > > 04. Anyone from outside Dublin and north of the Liffey is a 'Northern
Wanker'.
>
> > > 05. You have no idea where the North is.
>
> > > 06. You see any member of Boyzone in the POD (again) and find it hard
to get excited about it.
>
> > > 07. The countryside makes you nervous.
>
> > > 08. Somebody speaks to you on the DART and you freak out thinking
they are a stalker.
>
> > > 09. American tourists no longer annoy you.
>
> > > 10. You can't remember the last time you got up to 30 mph in your car
in "towin."
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN LIMERICK TOO LONG
>
> > > 01. You have an urge to steal.
>
> > > 02. You keep going on about how great Limerick and Garryowen are.
>
> > > 03. To you, organised crime is putting petrol in the getaway car.
>
> > > 04. You start to cry when you hear 'Beautiful Munsters'.
>
> > > 05. You think anyone from Limerick has a great sense of humour.
>
> > > 06. You think everyone's heard of Barry Foley
>
> > > 07. You think Dubliners are 'soft east coast ashy pets'...until they
kick your head in at rugby.
>
> > > 08. You deny that it rains all the time...as you struggle home with
the shopping in yet another torrential downpour.
>
> > > 09. You always carry a knife.

> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN DERRY TOO LONG
>
> > > 01.You say 'Sir' all the time ("Howsa goan thur Sir").
>
> > > 02. You say '****e' all the time.
>
> > > 03.You say 'aye' all the time.
>
> > > 04.You end sentences with 'Hi' i.e. 'I'm no goan' thur, Hi, it's
****e'.
>
> > > 05.You think Irn Bru is great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of ****e
Hi'.
>
> > > 06.You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.
>
> > > 07.You punch everybody you meet.
>
> > > 08.You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody you
meet.
>
> > > 09.You are incomprehensible.
>
> > > 10. People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.
>
> > > 11. You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the words
'Londonderry' or 'England'.

> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN CORK TOO LONG
>
> > > 01.You say "I'm Grand" all the time.
>
> > > 02.You think of Murphy's as if it is the sixth food group.
>
> > > 03.You disagreed with 2. - Murphy's is the FIRST food group.
>
> > > 04.You're pale and white... yet compared to others your suntan looks
good.
>
> > > 05.You say "Are you Grand ?" all the time.
>
> > > 06.You say "Isn't that grand?" all the time.
>
> > > 07.You say "That'd be grand" all the time.
>
> > > 08.You take 4 hours to get home on a Saturday night and think nothing
of it.
>
> > > 09. You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat,
bread or potatoes.
>
> > > 10.You say "Your man" all the time.
>
> > > 11.You say "Your woman" all the time.
>
> > > 12.You say "It's grand that your man asked if I'm grand" all the
time.
>
> > > 13.You find yourself still living with family and having dinners
cooked for you by someone's mammy - at 30.
>
> > > 14.You talk about 'dinners' and 'mammys'.

> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN GALWAY TOO LONG
>
> > > 01.You say "Howsa' goin" all the time.
>
> > > 02.You can't remember a weekend when a friend from Dublin or Cork
wasn't sleeping on your couch.
>
> > > 03.When you meet someone on a Tuesday afternoon you tell them you
haven't been out in ages then remember that you were chatting to that same
person last night in the Quays.
>
> > > 04. You agree with all taxi drivers on all subjects - why bother
getting thick.
>
> > > 05. Unless the taxi driver is from Mayo.
>
> > > 06. Unless, like half the population living in Galway, you're from
Mayo.
>
> > > 07. When you say you live in Galway, people immediately smile and tell
you about their wild weekend in Salthill when they were 16. You nod
enthusiastically about the same venue, despite the fact that you where never
there.
>
08. You think that it's perfectly normal to have 6 buskers (including a
bagpiper), eight street entertainers, 19 Romanian beggers and 4 separate
roadworks all on the one street.

> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN CAVAN TOO LONG
>
> > > 01 You're still there.

tman

lmao, the galway one is spot on (esp number 8:D )

goose

€3 a pint. thats a bit cheep!

Pugsley

rofl,good un

phreak

SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN DERRY TOO LONG

01.You say 'Sir' all the time ("Howsa goan thur Sir").

02. You say '****e' all the time.

03.You say 'aye' all the time.

04.You end sentences with 'Hi' i.e. 'I'm no goan' thur, Hi, it's
****e'.

LOL, very true

Repli

> > > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN DUBLIN TOO LONG
>
> > > 01. You say 'towin' when you mean the city.

It's so true.

DerekD Goldfish

The dublin one are pretty true apart from 9