Help I'm a misogynist (response to feedback)

LegacyUser · 29-08-2002 4:55pm #1

(p 1 of 2)

Hi all! It’s the original unregistered poster of ‘help I’m a misogynist’ here. Well as Hobnail-Monkey requested I’ve decided to give some feedback to the comments everyone made regarding my predicament.

Firstly thanks to everyone on the other thread for your comments, (except for White Wash Man of course)
Instead of quoting everyone I’ll just respond to your posts individually in this one long post.

***** DUKMAN *****
I was merely saying that life without women would be great but since we live in a world where men and women have work, live and love together I’ve decided I’d rather try get on with them than ignore them.

***** RAZIEL + TAILS*****
Thanks for your opinions. You are clearly seeing where I am coming from albeit a less drastic way, and I hope for you that it can stay that way!

***** WOOK*****
You sound the closet to my mindset of all the people who have posted here. I don’t know whether to feel bad about that or go for a pint with you! J

You seem happy with your outlook but I (for now at least) amen’t. And believe me there was a long stretch of time when I was quite content to be this way and not worry about it but now I’ve just had enough of my he-man woman hater lifestyle and I just want to move on if possible.

***** HOBNAIL MONKEY*****
Thanks for giving your opinion. It’s just a pity you had to get drawn into that flame war with WhiteWashMan (Do not get into a slagging match or I will ban you too. << Fio >>). He’s not worth it.

***** BERUTHIEL *****
Thanks for your comments. They were insightful, well thought out and probably the fairest from all the female comments. I have to agree with you that your upbringing shapes ones outlook on life. But I don’t feel this sole cause of my position.

I certainly don’t think I am attracting women such along the lines of mom/sis. In fact living with them has made me rather attuned to spotting these individuals and in the most part avoiding them. Though perhaps living with those two has made me less tolerable of the less favorable characteristics that most women share?

Also I DON’T consider the attitude I have to be the right one. If I did I wouldn’t be coming on here asking for help and opinions would I?

I’m not testing GF’s either as many people seem to have read from my comments. When I put in the no fight ‘clause’ it was after a number of arguments when that position was ‘tested’ I was more annoyed with the fact that my single request from the relationship had been taken so lightly and so quickly broken rather than the fact of being drawn into another fight. I was more annoyed that she accepted the one single request I asked of her and just as soon dismissed it.

Actually, I’m regretting mentioning the fights now because they are probably the least of concerns. I would take a woman who constantly was fighting with me over one who thought she could manipulate or play games with me.

Also, I amen’t going for the wrong kind of woman. I am consciously trying to avoid women who annoy me in this way but I find these characteristics to be instilled in almost any woman I encounter. I can only judge my experiences on what I have been exposed to.

You ask how I’ve had a g/f in the first place but believe me if you met me you wouldn’t recognize me as this person you are reading about here. Without trying to sound boastful I’m charming, friendly, intelligent good looking (so I’ve been told) etc and for the most part keep this kind of stuff deep down inside me which I can only describe as unhealthy but in the society we live in thoughts such as mine are about as socially acceptable as saying you want to start a neo-nazi party.

***** TO EVERYONE WHO WONDERED WHY I DIDN’T RING GF1 FOR 3 WEEKS : *****
For those of you who need to know, during these three weeks I was going through my finals in college and was literally working 16 hour days. As a result of working round the clock, I was feeling down, anti-social, depressed, exhausted and generally not best of moods. As such I felt it’d be fair to keep a bit of distance for this time and decided not to call. I might point out that she knew I was going throught this time in my life and never bothered ringing me to find out how I doing either.

I’m quite charming in real life (honestly!) but on the phone I usually just sound bored so added to the bad time I was having I didn’t want to give her any bad signs by ringing up and sounding like some manic moody ****er who didn’t give a ****.

Many here say I was rude and thoughtless for not calling GF1 for 3 weeks, but don’t forget that she had exactly the same amount of time to call me and never bothered.

Afterwards she never even explained to me why she hadn’t rang instead just making a big stink about. I just let the matter go. You may count my reasons as lame but NO reason counts is even lamer on her part.

***** DR. LOON*****
I don’t think I am trying test to test them. I am by nature a solitary person so for me to not ring someone every day is not unusual. Call it a test if you will.

***** MISS JD*****
I agree that I have communications problems. I also agree when you say I might find something trivial that the other finds important. I even agree that I am selfish and defensive. As for not being able to stand up for myself you are incorrect on that assumption. Regarding the 15-minute stretches I did do it once and then never again. I explained to GF2 that it was unreasonable to drag someone into town just to spend 15 minutes with them and she went off in a huff. She continued to demand these meetings and I continued to refuse them. In time it came to a head and that was the beginning of the end.

I also don’t interpret these womens signs as them trying to be ‘better’ than me. In fact it’s quite the opposite. As I mentioned earlier, my sister is a person who would quite happily let herself become completely dependant on some man and never lift a finger again to serve herself whilst he ran around after her thanking her on a daily basis for the pleasure of it.

This is the kind of woman I am trying to avoid. Which is when I sense a woman acting this way the warning lights go on. A woman who would let themselves get into that position isn’t ‘better’ than me and to be honest has already proven themselves to be worse than me. Hope that makes sense to you?

***** BOMBIDOL*****
Thanks for that. I don’t think I go LOOKING for faults in women it’s just that become apparent to me over time. I’ve never started going with a girl unless I thought she wasn’t like the other but now I’ve just had enough and don’t even persue relationships now because I don’t want to get drawn into my ‘vicious circle’ that Berituthal (sp?) mentioned in her post.

As for there being someone for everyone, that’s exactly what scares me. I’m worried I’m someday going to fall head over heals in love with my ‘perfect’ woman (eg GF2) and then find as soon as things get a little comfortable for her that everything wasn’t as it seemed to begin with and that she thought she could start taking liberties with me.

***** VENOM*****
Sorry, I forgot to mention that that wasn’t the first fight we had. After a few of them I made that ultimatum to which GF3 gave only cursory notice to.

I can’t really contest your comments on no having no female friend as being odd. I went to all male primary and secondary. Even at college I was doing a course with 10:1 male ratio and as such the industry I work in has similar sex ratio. So for me it’s never really been that odd.

College was probably a bad influence on me too because the women in my course were (to a woman) quite happy to go rushing around getting the guys in the year to help them with (ie basically DO) their work/assignments so I soon wanted nothing to do with any of them.

Up to recently I’d always give every woman a chance but after years of waiting to meet that woman who proves me wrong I basically just had enough.

LegacyUser · 29-08-2002 4:56pm

(part 2 of 2)

***** KIX*****
Regarding trying to re-write past relationships with new women as I mentioned to someone else in this post I don’t have a habit of repeating past history or even wanting to repair it. I find the way the people I mention abhorrent and certainly wouldn’t be attracted to it in any form.

My problem is that when I start going with a girl I find that at the core of their personality ARE these very traits I am trying to avoid. If they had just been honest enough to show their true nature from day one then I’d have stayed well clear and not have contstantly been viewing every nice woman (and I’m sure there’s a few) as some kind of faker.

***** SEAMUS*****
What you say about me wanting women to act like men is probably correct to some extent. I probably want a woman who is rational, logical etc and deep down I know they probably don’t exist. But I could live with a womans differning personality if they weren’t so manipulative. This is the biggest problem for me!

Don’t get me wrong here I amen’t one of these guys who spends his day suffering the whims of women who make you open windows or making them cups of coffee for them. In fact I am so opposite that I would usually draw a line in the sand very affirm to her that I am not at any womans beck and call.

As for this ‘holier-than-thou’ theory I don’t know where you got that from but your certainly not right on that front! Also, I can for the most part accept a woman as being giddy, emotional, content talking all day about fashion or whatever they like but when they think they can manipulate men with the flutter of an eyelid it is going too far (as well as being disrespectful to a persons intelligence).

***** KONEKO*****
I’ve thought about getting a shrink already. Reading these comments makes me even more interested in persuing this line of action. But I would use your own point about getting treated the way you treat by saying a woman only gets the treatment I give her because she has treated ME that way to begin with. There’s a famous quip that goes ‘Why are all men bastards?’ to which the response is ‘because you hurt us enough to make us that way.’

To show what I mean don’t forget I had bad experiences in this respect ever since I was a child and yet I still decided to start going into relationships with an open attitude. I don’t think therefore you can accuse me of having a bad attitude without reason.

And finally I don’t blame the rest of the world because I am (as you put it) a ****-up. I only blame your half.

***** BASHIBAZOUK*****
I’ll be sure to check that book out! J

***** DROWNER*****
How does me jumping to conclusions about women playing games make me less obvious and more complex? Or do you mean it makes women more obvious and less complex?

But you’d be right to say I hate ‘a certain kind of woman’ but the problem with that is that this ‘certain kind of woman’ seems to be present (to a greater or lesser extent) in every woman I meet or get involved with. I’m probably asking too much to find a woman who was 100% free of the aforementioned ‘qualities’ but when you’ve had as much of that as I’ve had it’s almost easier to remain single and get 0% of the bull**** than enter a relationship and have to suffer as little as 5% of the bull****.

Also to everyone who picked up on it, perhaps the term ‘game-playing’ was too much of a generalization to begin with. But I’m sure you know what I’m talking about? By game playing When any relationship begins you think the person you’re with is perfect and then little cracks start to show in the veneer until you’re left with what you’ve got.

Women (and I can only speak of them because I’ve never dated a guy J) are adept at ‘being on their best behaviour’ until they think you’re in for the long haul and then they start relaxing into their real selves instead of just trying to be the person they think you want. This comes as a shock when GF-X isn’t really the person you thought they were. As such I’d nearly rather meet a girl who didn’t give a **** about what I thought of her and just came at me exactly how she was instead of trying to please me and be perfect.

Perhaps when I mentioned ‘playing games’ I should have called it ‘inevitably reverting to self’

***** MERCURY TILT*****
You couldn’t be more wrong in your comments about me being bitter because of getting ‘dumped’. It was I who ended my last relationship. You (and Eth0) can call me a plonker for not ringing GF1 for three weeks (and looking back I might agree with you) but then look at the other side of the coin and you’ll see that she had exactly the same amount of time to ring me.

Regarding blowjobs I didn’t really care. Sex too. If the perfect woman for me came along right now and didn’t even want to take her clothes off it wouldn’t bother me because I value other things in a woman above that. The fact that all you can focus on is ‘porno sex’, ‘blowjobs’ and ‘prostitutes’ shows you probably can’t.

Finally I’m guessing you are one of these people who spends their time thinking up responses instead of actually reading what you are responding to. Regarding GF2, as I mentioned, it was I who dumped her so there wasn’t really any question of her keeping me as a spare until something better came along. Try reading the post next time you reply to someone.

***** ETHO*****
Your throwaway comment about not liking the taste etc actually makes me think that you’ve never given head yourself. Sorry but am I dealing with some 16 year old here by chance? If so then I don’t really need your input.

Besides I don’t know why everyone is getting so caught up on the actual BJ. It’s not the point of it’s mentioning!!!! What I was trying to show was that after she realized she didn’t have to perform head her personality changed and she became less relaxed and more demanding about what went on between us. That was what bothered me about her, not the blowjobs! I could only surmise that this was how she was a person all along and everything up to then had been just for show.

***** WHITEWASHMAN*****
Congratulations on being the ONLY poster on this thread to have had absolutely nothing relevant on this matter at any time. On a thread that quickly degraded into spam (due mainly to you) that’s quite an achievement!

At one point you even accused Hobnail of being afraid of looking like a twat! I can hereby ensure you that it is one phobia you’re clearly not afflicted with.

As such I presume we can throw a party when you become the one solitary person on boards.ie to pass 10,000 posts thereby cementing your status as the saddest bastard in this neck of cyberspace?

(again do *not* get into name calling. << Fio >>)

***** SMILES*****
In regards to your moderating duties I think it is WWM who you should be watching. Everyone (including Hobnail) was responding to the topic until he stuck his oar in and even then had nothing at all to say on the matter.

//

Finally sorry if I didn’t reply to your comment or got your opinions mixed up with someone else but there was a lot to get thru there! J Thanks!

BigDaddyKone · 29-08-2002 5:21pm

I read most of the first thread and I did agree with some of what you said. What I am wondering, is have you had any postive female influences? you mentioned your mother and sister and the negative impression they gave you from a relatively early age, that is unfortunate but we can't pick our family, was there any grandmother or aunt or anything like that would didnt have these issues. Also do you hold out much hope of meeting a women who does not act they way you have described? I do think that you are lucky, in that you seem to have a fairly low sex drive ( i am not infering anything by that, it just seems that way from your posts) so as you said yourself you can do without women like that. Myself as i said agree with some of your points. I have talked to women and have been able to tell within 5mins whethere i would have any interest in them and sad to say it is quite rare that i meet a girl that i would want to wake up to every day. This troubles myself as I have had gf that i truly liked and respected but for whatever reason didnt work out. it just gets a bit depressing when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you understand what i am getting at

The Corinthian · 29-08-2002 5:57pm

Misogyny has been on the increase in the last two decades; much of the reason for this has been that many men now feel that there has been an over-compensation for past sexual discrimination. It is not unusual to find women who believe in equal rights in the workplace but will also naturally expect the man to pick up the bill in a restaurant. Women are beginning to dominate certain industries, such as HR and Marketing, resulting in the glass ceiling syndrome being applied to male employees.

Women may vote; yet retain control on sexual relations. They can study; yet we continue with the prejudice that results in them almost automatically get custody of any children in a separation/divorce. They can enter the armed forces; yet will expect men to mow the lawn. No doubt many women here will, correctly, deny this of themselves - but this is unfortunately all too often a hypocritical reality of post-feminism.

It is probably a combination of loss of social dominance and this apparent double standard that has engendered such resentment in men towards women.

Hence, misogyny is a misdirected resentment against hypocrisy, which in fairness, women do not have a monopoly on. As such, Unreggie, I would suggest that the best cure for your misogyny would be to find a woman who rejects such a double standard and who is willing to be treated as a peer, without exception.

smiles · 29-08-2002 6:21pm

Originally posted by Unregistered
***** ETHO*****
Your throwaway comment about not liking the taste etc actually makes me think that you’ve never given head yourself. Sorry but am I dealing with some 16 year old here by chance? If so then I don’t really need your input.

Right... lets see.... because someone mentions that they don't like the taste means they're 16 ? Throw me into that pile so, i've yet to meet more than 2 girls who say they do.

***** SMILES*****
In regards to your moderating duties I think it is WWM who you should be watching. Everyone (including Hobnail) was responding to the topic until he stuck his oar in and even then had nothing at all to say on the matter.

I think you should start worrying about yourself and not about my moderating techniques.

Hobnail monkey persistantly called WWM names and get personal, WWM remained pretty much impartial and only flamed him slightly.
WWM made many points, and I'd hope you'd not continue insulting people as I have a *very* low tolerance level for things like that.

Thank you,
Come again,

<< Fio >>

eth0_ · 29-08-2002 6:53pm

Originally posted by smiles

Right... lets see.... because someone mentions that they don't like the taste means they're 16 ? Throw me into that pile so, i've yet to meet more than 2 girls who say they do.

Thanks for that Smiles. I'm actually in my twenties and have had several serious relationships, so I do know what i'm talking about, to an extent, unreggie. Anyway, my sex life isn't in question here.

I have to say, you come across a lot better now than in your first post. If you'd explained about the three weeks between phone calls thing, I wouldn't have reacted in the way I did.
Sorry for having a go at you, but your first post was very emotional and easy to misinterpret.

And smiles, I know we haven't seen eye to eye before, but I'd say you are by FAR a more impartial mod, as you don't get embroiled in silly flame wars.

Mercury_Tilt · 29-08-2002 8:05pm

This post has been deleted.

Hobnail Monkey · 30-08-2002 8:04am

Well, hats off to the Unregistered poster, talk about coming back brighter. I don't know how long it took you to put together that response, but after reading it, it is cracking stuff and does give me a good insight into the sort of person you are. I could be guilty of thinking you had a mis-directed rage towards women in the beginning, but now that I know what you mean, I take that all back.
It is a shame that the original thread was reduced to flames after a sterling performance from you-know-who, but the less said about that the better. I've been through a lot of threads here on boards in the last while, but this one held my interest more than any other (despite the 'interruptions'). Granted, a controversial topic, but one that was well debated from start to....erm, the start of this one.
But like I said in my first reply to you, hang out until you meet a sound girl (and they do exist) and she should help defuse a lot of what you feel towards the opposite sex. They are a rare breed though, so if you do meet one, take good care of her (be you her friend or boyfriend).
But in future, send me a private message before you're gonna drop another bomb of a thread like this one. I'd like to collect my thoughts first before posting as the norm seems to be that a lot of 'personal opinions' are nit-picked to death here at the moment.

Hobbes · 30-08-2002 8:34am

The problem isn't with the women. It's with you.

The reason you see it in every woman is because your looking for whatever is wrong with that woman. Also your attitude is probably helping to bring out the traits you hate so much in the women.

You could also learn to be a bit more compassionate. So you don't want to ring a woman and get annoyed when she rings you three weeks later. Ever think to ring her and tell her not to ring? Instead of leaving her hanging?

Although it looked like you got the GF that mirrors you.

WhiteWashMan · 30-08-2002 9:06am

oh i love it.

someone has a different viewpoint that you dont like and you think its flamming and trolling.

wook, you seem intelligent, but you dont seem to understand the meaning of discussion. tell me at what point did i not ask questions and encourage discussion.
please feel free to pick a post where i was not trying to get information. just becuase you dont like my style doesnt make it wrong.
learn a little tolerance or if you are going to throw things about, back them up with evidence.

hobnail monkey - it must be so easy to push the blame onto other people. youve been here for a couple of days and already so many people dislike you. gosh, i wonder what the common factor is here?
oh, its you!
you see, if you dont want to answer what i ask you, then fine, but dont blame me if you have to retort with petty name calling and then ttell everyone that its my fault you cant seem to answer a simple question.

(take personal vandetta up in PMs please. (any flaming here will be editted) << Fio >> )

corinthian. good post. good points. but i think there is more to it than a simple problem of double standards and hypocracy. we get these in life every day. coem to think of it, life is pretty much a statement of hypocracy sometimes. but lets face it, some things you either deal with, or you turn into something that is not nice, something intolerant of change or difference. someone who cant deal with things outside their comfort zone can become very afraid or closed off. the perfect enviroment for growth of bigotry.

by the way, wook and hobnail monkey please take note. people make a statement, other people come back and question them. at this point i know the corinthian will come back and read this post and put up something else that wont include names and insults. this is called a discussion. i bet he wont get defensive. if he does i will call him ghey, and we will laugh.

as for the original unregistered poster, i feel deperately sorry for you.
you dont even realise where your problems are? you give your apparent problems, but they all come in the form of experiences, and not the underlying problems. why didnt you call someone for three weeks. studying for 16 hours a day is not an excuse.
if you were in borneo with no phone being tortured, then thats an excuse, but while you are in a country with a (relatively) good phone system, there is not one single excuse (apart from a coma) that you can give. accept the fact that you are a self centred person. just accept it. dont try and tell us things and then lay the blame of on others.
believe it or not, not all of us are 16 year old CS players here. some of ushave been around in the world for a while and know things. and the attitude you have is not a healthy one.
again, there is one common theme running through your post. and the common theme is you. thats a hard statistic to bypass to be honest.
and youre lucky im in a good mood today. normally id just rip you apart for being (someone he doesnt agree with (please, no name calling) << Fio >>), but im putting forward a well structured, thought out point of view that you can come back and do with what you will.
by the way, i notice you dismiss anyone who doesnt agree with you. also not a healthy attitude.
you should learn tolerance and more importantly, you should learn to listen. youd be surprised what you can learn about life, and yourself, by listening. its the hardest thing to do. listen.

The Sweeper · 30-08-2002 9:55am

Originally posted by Unregistered
***** MISS JD*****
I agree that I have communications problems. I also agree when you say I might find something trivial that the other finds important. I even agree that I am selfish and defensive. As for not being able to stand up for myself you are incorrect on that assumption. Regarding the 15-minute stretches I did do it once and then never again. I explained to GF2 that it was unreasonable to drag someone into town just to spend 15 minutes with them and she went off in a huff. She continued to demand these meetings and I continued to refuse them. In time it came to a head and that was the beginning of the end.

I also don’t interpret these womens signs as them trying to be ‘better’ than me. In fact it’s quite the opposite. As I mentioned earlier, my sister is a person who would quite happily let herself become completely dependant on some man and never lift a finger again to serve herself whilst he ran around after her thanking her on a daily basis for the pleasure of it.

This is the kind of woman I am trying to avoid. Which is when I sense a woman acting this way the warning lights go on. A woman who would let themselves get into that position isn’t ‘better’ than me and to be honest has already proven themselves to be worse than me. Hope that makes sense to you?

Unregi, I see what you're saying but there's one thing I don't understand.

What is it that you want? What do you expect to get out of a relationship? I'd be interested in your view of 'how things should be' in a relationship.

I'm saying this for one reason - if you really do dislike women, you are not going to be able to stifle that dislike, it will leak into your behav iour towards women and as a result I believe women will always react badly to you. (It being natural to react badly to someone who's being negative towards you).

Is it just some women that set you off? Or are you likely to meet a really nice girl, but if she gets giggle and tittery one day are you likely to go off her and start being uncommunicative, rude and downright chauvinistic towards her?

I really believe you've met some hum-dingers - for instance the fifteen minute girl who huffed at you when you did resist her suggestions that you run around after her, but again, I would like to know what age you are. I feel that this girls behaviour is immaturity at its finest, but I don't think it's correct for you to attribute that behaviour to all womankind.

Women of the non game-playing, unmelodramatic, generous, caring, kind and sexually adventurous variety DO EXIST!!! But if you’re going to bag one you are really going to have to lose the selfish attitude. Not for one second am I suggesting that you prostrate yourself as some girl’s doormat. Just that I think you need to lear to communicate, compromise and share yourself more, plus learn to recognise when someone is taking advantage of your good qualities and get them to stop.

I just hoping that if you meet a decent woman you don't screw things up with her because of your misogyny.

The Corinthian · 30-08-2002 10:45am

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
corinthian. good post. good points. but i think there is more to it than a simple problem of double standards and hypocracy.

Upon reflection, you’re probably right that one cannot distil the cause of misogyny into a simple reaction to hypocrisy - Single sex schools are also another contributing factor, for example. However, I would still contend that it is one major cause for the surprising levels of misogyny that are present in society today and regardless of the cause, it is ultimately a prejudice that, like all other prejudices, is the result of misdirected resentment.

Yesterday evening, after my last post in this thread, I went off to have a few drinks with friends. The pub was quite full and at one stage two girls joined us out of the blue for the express, and blatant, purpose of asking us to give up our seats for the benefit of some ladies (themselves), who were undoubtedly there to have a few drinks after work, like us.

Men see this every day, to the point that we don’t even notice it anymore. Women, on the other hand, will often have as much difficulty grasping the notion that even as they see a man opening a door for them as being gallant, they are in some small part perpetuating this double standard. I would be interested to hear female opinions on this theory, btw.

if he does i will call him ghey, and we will laugh.

Nervously, then change the subject to discuss sport or politics

Originally posted by Hobbes
The reason you see it in every woman is because your looking for whatever is wrong with that woman. Also your attitude is probably helping to bring out the traits you hate so much in the women.

That’s how he justifies his prejudice, how he is able to induce reason for it, not the reason. As you said yourself; his attitude is helping to bring out this misogyny. Otherwise, he wouldn’t need to post in the first place, asking for advice on the subject. He would have had the answer already.

smiles · 30-08-2002 11:30am

Hobnail Monkey - you're banned for a couple of days.

Re-registering a new nick because you've been banned before is not only not-clever, but also extremely stupid.

The reason: I warned you *several* times _not_ to get person, and you have continued to do so.

If you have a problem with this - take it up in a PM (or the admin boards again, we all enjoyed that last time).

<< Fio >>

PS. I'll close this thread for a bit until i can edit out all the sh!te.

Thanx 4 The Fish · 30-08-2002 12:33pm

Originally posted by smiles

Right... lets see.... because someone mentions that they don't like the taste means they're 16 ? Throw me into that pile so, i've yet to meet more than 2 girls who say they do.

<< Fio >>

I know quite a few who do and will gladly introduce you to them.
Flavour does vary depending on Diet...

Anyway on topic, the common denominator seems to be you UNregi. I used to have a big problem with relationships, grew up and got on with it. As you begin to realise that everybody (including you) wants something from a relationship, you will enjoy them quite a bit more. (I hope)

Luck

LegacyUser · 31-08-2002 12:14am

***** TEEJAY *****
1. No positive influences really come to mind at this point.
2. No I don't really hold out much hope of meeting a woman who doesn't act this way. To show you how far gone I am I have vowed to myself (even in the case of meeting the ‘perfect’ woman - and she will have to accept this) to never to enter a joint mortgage and instead am planning to buy my first house out of my own money to avoid joint ownership issues.
3. I don't have a low sex drive but I just have such a logical mind-set that I can see clearly how women trade sex (and sexuality) with men for what they want out of life and I for one don't feel like entertaining that particular barter system.

***** CORINTHIAN *****
Your comments are exceptionally close to how I am feeling and yes my ideal woman would be a peer as opposed to someone who 'clinged' to me, for the want of a better word. Despite what I said earlier I guess main factor of this issue is based on how women think they can treat men and my unwillingness to play along with it.

***** SMILES *****
Regarding my comments to Etho about being her a 16 year old I should have said 'the maturity/experience' of a 16 year old (actually make that a 13 year old). Semen isn't supposed to taste like champagne so for a woman to complain about 'the taste' really just sounds like such a weak excuse as well as sounding like the comment of someone who hasn't had the experience and was just using common knowledge to disguise the fact.

Anyway, I'm not 'worried' about myself OR your mod techniques, I’m just observant. I have what I consider to be a problem and am striving to get to the bottom of it. No worrying, just action.

The same applies to your mod techniques. I don’t ‘worry’ about how you perform your duties, but whatever Hobnail has done or said in the past or how you feel about him it was WWM who threw the first blow on my thread so he has his fair share of blame as far as I was concerned.

Sanction Hobnail for whatever he has done on your board but to my mind WWM was to blame for the fight on my thread at the very least and should be dealt with in whatever was necessary to at least make you look like you’re doing your job.

However, I apologise for 'insulting' people but it is difficult not to when one goes to the effort of writing a long and honest thread only for half of the responses to be nothing but spam and another quarter of them insulting the author for his problems.

***** ETHO *****
I apologise for my response earlier. I got a little hot under the collar when I read the amount of crap that was being thrown at me and spammed into the thread. I stand by my accusation of 'taste' being a rather weak excuse but I probably shouldn't have phrased the response the way I did.

***** MERC TILT *****
I make the biggest apology to you. Sorry for having a go at you but calling a person a 'plonker' in the first paragraph will inevitably get the blood up.

Regarding your post I assure you that one of the first things I also learnt about women was the 'call them first' rule. But I think this case was exceptional. I assure you that not calling wasn’t meant as some lab experiment but it just amazed me that a woman would have the pettiness to wait an entire 3 weeks for ME to adhere to the unwritten 11th commandment before doing something about it and that was what annoyed me in that respect.

Again, I apolgise for my bad grammer. I accused you of not reading the post when I in fact I can see that I made it rather hard to understand by leaving out the odd word here and there. I forget that typing here isn't as fluid as expressing person to person and on such a personal issue I got a little caught up on getting the ideas down rather than making it 100% understandable for everyone.

But, back to the topic. I never said sex meant NOTHING to me. I just don't rate it as important as some guys out there who let their dicks do their thinking for them making themselves the willing slaves of women.

Sorry for having a go at you but your comments were like waving a red cloth at a bull and whilst I don't have time to give everyone a mark out of ten I'll make an exception in your case 8/10

***** HOBNAIL *****
I don't really understand you latest post? You say you 'take it all back' when I don't really remember you saying anything earlier that would warrant you taking anything back? Am I in the good or bad books with you now?

Also, why should I have to send you PM's before posting? Please clarify

***** HOBBES *****
Believe me that I don't go looking for the bad in women (at least not in the women I chose to go out with) but inevitably sooner or later they'll do something that sets the alarm bells ringing.

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******
Firstly, as wook made no reference to the validity of your contributions on these threads (whereas I did) I can only assume that you are suggesting that wook and I are one and the same?

If so then, secondly, let me inform you that don't even HAVE a style so it's impossible for me to either like it or not. Thirdly, regarding evidence, 9 people had responded to my thread with opinions and advise before you came on. You proceeded to make absolutely no reference to my post and then continued to spend the rest of the thread nit-picking and having a go at Hobnail (for whatever reason I don't know or care) whilst taking occasional breathers to discuss the definition of the female equivalent of a misogynist.

You may justify your actions by pointing out that you were ‘asking questions and encouraging discussion’ but realise that none of it bore any relevance to the thread and was for the most part clearly just part of your own agenda to put a newbie (and a troublesome I am guessing?) in his place. If that’s all you had in mind then you could have done it somewhere else because as thread author I can assure you it was of no value here.

Either way, I was glad to see you finally made some useful points towards the thread, whether they are pro or negative. But hugs and kisses aside please don't try patronise me by saying things along the lines of 'lucky that you are in a good mood' as if you are something special to be feared when it comes to flaming.

I say this because (and trust here me WWM) you are a rank amateur when it comes to ripping peoples comments. I should know because in a past life (online at least) I was much like you are now. The only difference is that I was better at it than you are. Thankfully, however, I learnt to grow-up out of that and I now (for the most part) leave acting like you do to someone else.

Finally, you say that I dismiss anyone who disagrees with me. But at the risk of being accused of ‘dismissing you’ I’d have to disagree with your comment. As evidence to the contrary I point out that in my last post Beruthiel, MAJD, Seamus, Drowner and others all disagreed with my P.O.V. yet where I found there to be truth their statements I was quick to credit them for their observations and opinions. As an addendum, in this post I am even able to back down to MercTilt and EthO to whom I feel my comments were partially unjustified. So I think your statement holds little credence.

Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge, so once again I thank you for your opinions and I'll leave it at that.

***** MINESAJACKDANIELS *****
I got your name right this time!

As I mentioned earlier I keep these feelings locked deep inside so I can only offer that they bear little relevance to how a woman reacts to me over time. I can only take it that what they are ‘giving me’ is what they really are and not a counter-strike or 'response' to my misogyny. Actually, rereading that it probably makes me sound very biased but I hope you can get what I am trying to say.

Also I would rather not say my age as I proved myself earlier it misrepresents a person and doesn’t necessarily show level of experience or maturity of that person. Suffice to say I am over 20 and under 30.

I agree with you about the compromising bit. I guess growing up with the women that I did one saw that any compromise on one’s part just lead to more and more compromise until it was all going only one way. I think it has instilled a feeling that in a relationship if I acquiesce to favour-X that it will just be the start of the same avalanche effect that I experienced in my homelife and as such it is better to get out early. After all, we all know that once you've had your hand in a fire you learn not to stick it in again, and that's pretty much where I'm coming from.

Gordon · 31-08-2002 1:22am

I really appreciate your posts Unregistered I am just disappointed you choose anonymity in this case. I feel you may even be a new member of boards but whichever I would love it if you registered or posted as your nick.

I'm not happy about what you say here though
->

Originally posted by Unregistered
The only difference is that I was better at it than you are.

So you know that this precise phrase just "feeds the trolls" then?! Come on, cop on with your superior - if you claim to be better you will be bettered and then you will better and then you will be bettered. You are the type that likes the last word and presume that the next word is an insult is what I see.

Equilibrium is not what you are getting at if you go about it this way.

(good luck btw)

/me looks up at Angelwhores deleted post with a wry smile...

Karl Hungus · 31-08-2002 2:11am

Originally posted by Gordon
/me looks up at Angelwhores deleted post with a wry smile...

Yes, I know, very muppety and short sighted of me, but I seriously don't have much respect for this individual. I've had quite a few relationships in the past, and never a fight. I think going for 3 weeks without a phonecall is sheer muppetry! Personally, I couldn't go for a few days without a short sweet little txt message or something to that effect. I see this 'Unregistered' as a very lazy, and selfish person with a superiority complex.

But I can also apreciate that I don't really know the whole of this.
Perhaps he has a behaveural disorder?
Either way, I can understand that my view could be rather closed minded.

So perhaps I opted for a sarcy pic rather than out and out flaming.
Because I know I could easily get wound up with someone like this.
But then again, maybe it's a real life mate of mine?
Get where I'm coming from here?

Ry · 31-08-2002 3:39am

I just wanted to say I've read the first thread and some of the second(Not all as alot of it is crap about Hobnail and WWM's arguing). I've enjoyed reading Unregistered's posts thoroughly because they are so well written. They gave a very good argument on your case and a real delv into you're past experiences whilst adding a little humour here and there. I can see where alot of your points ring true though alot of it, if not the majority of it(and this has to be said) is fault with you which is why you are posting in the first place, correct? I liked Beruthiels post because it was very fair and to the point. Majd's was also truthful to a large extent in my opinion.

Anyways being only 18 I know I'm fairly young for this issue but don't categorise me with the majority of my age group as I don't think it would do me justice. As for your predicament Unregistered, I think profesional help is perhaps the best way to go if no light is shed by the posts here(Which is very likely because here your reading will be clouded by the usual spam crap that you don't need). I myself had some problems a couple of years back not of the same issue but definitely(It seems) of the same need for professional help. Counselling of some kind would probably do you good to discuss it in more detail with someone totally unbiased regardless of gender. Here you will find the females and the males will tend to stick up slightly for their own gender which is completely natural. With professional help you will find people trained to be neutral which will make discussing it easier too.

Well that's just my two cents and I wish you all the best in conquering your "hatred".

Good Luck.
Ry

Slutmonkey57b · 31-08-2002 4:44am

I'm suprised people didn't notice that he did actually say in the first post

" However, after going out one night with this girl I had the GAUL to leave it three weeks without calling her ? after which SHE finally called me!"

(my bold)

which sort of makes me wonder how much people read of the thread before giving out about his attitudes:
eg etho's
"If you'd explained about the three weeks between phone calls thing, I wouldn't have reacted in the way I did."
-not to pick on you particualrly etho...

Uuuh I think it's pretty clear if she wanted to talk to him that badly she could have called him, but chose not to. If she had been equally busy herself she should have understood why he didn't call her.

Good thread unregi, I have to say that you may just have to keep explaining to women you get involved with "why are you doing <blah>, it's not necessary." Actually you remind me of a friend of mine who had similar attitudes to mind games etc - you will find there are women out there who do understand, even if you have to remind them occasionally.

androphobic · 31-08-2002 3:26pm

Originally posted by Slutmonkey57b
Actually you remind me of a friend of mine who had similar attitudes to mind games etc - you will find there are women out there who do understand, even if you have to remind them occasionally. [/B]

I've followed both threads but chose not to comment until now.. even now I just want to say that I think that amid all of the posts and disagreements the point has been lost that..

not all females play mind games.

The majority of women are not manipulative beings.

I can understand how people may sympathise with Unregistered that women are hard to understand but I cannot for one minute see how people could sympathise with someone who claims to hate an entire race.
[If a woman had written his post she would probably have been called a feminist or a lesbian or something].

Unregistered.. good luck with the counselling - I hope you choose that option and somehow learn to deal with your hatred and choose to make female friends and become happy in female company because a life lived primarily among males cannot be happy or healthy.

- andro

The Corinthian · 01-09-2002 12:50am

Originally posted by androphobic
I cannot for one minute see how people could sympathise with someone who claims to hate an entire race.

Last time I checked women and men were often of the same race and always of the same species. Given that, some Saturday mornings...

Slutmonkey57b · 01-09-2002 8:27am

Again, I think you're misreading. The man doesn't hate an entire race, it's that he can't find anything to like - there's a difference albeit rather an pedantic one. As he has stated, he would much rather not have this problem, but he has not found any way to dissuade himself from believing it.

It's like me and drunken morons at 4am. I think they should all be shot because they clearly deserve it. They think they're normal. Clearly, they're wrong, but apparantly I'm still not allowed to shoot them.

Clintons Cat · 01-09-2002 9:00am

i know exactly what you mean,You start shooting morons and suddenly YOUR the guilty one.

WhiteWashMan · 03-09-2002 4:07pm

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******
Firstly, as wook made no reference to the validity of your contributions on these threads (whereas I did) I can only assume that you are suggesting that wook and I are one and the same?

no idea. no, if i thought you were the same person i would have asked. dont know where you got that from.

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******

If so then, secondly, let me inform you that don't even HAVE a style so it's impossible for me to either like it or not. Thirdly, regarding evidence, 9 people had responded to my thread with opinions and advise before you came on. You proceeded to make absolutely no reference to my post and then continued to spend the rest of the thread nit-picking and having a go at Hobnail (for whatever reason I don't know or care) whilst taking occasional breathers to discuss the definition of the female equivalent of a misogynist.

im glad you felt the need to read my posts and follow my journey.
i picked up on something else. just becaause you put up a tompic doesnt mean i have to respond to you. surely you are aware that the world revolves around the sun and not your post?

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******
You may justify your actions by pointing out that you were ‘asking questions and encouraging discussion’ but realise that none of it bore any relevance to the thread and was for the most part clearly just part of your own agenda to put a newbie (and a troublesome I am guessing?) in his place. If that’s all you had in mind then you could have done it somewhere else because as thread author I can assure you it was of no value here.

again, i dont care what you author. whats your point caller?

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******
Either way, I was glad to see you finally made some useful points towards the thread, whether they are pro or negative. But hugs and kisses aside please don't try patronise me by saying things along the lines of 'lucky that you are in a good mood' as if you are something special to be feared when it comes to flaming. .

actually, i said lucky i was in a good mood because i wrote something worth reading (according to you) and i didnt lower myself to call you a wánker the same way you did.
in other words, if i was in a bad mood and i read it i would just have told you to go and fúck yourself.
understand?

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******
I say this because (and trust here me WWM) you are a rank amateur when it comes to ripping peoples comments. I should know because in a past life (online at least) I was much like you are now. The only difference is that I was better at it than you are. Thankfully, however, I learnt to grow-up out of that and I now (for the most part) leave acting like you do to someone else.
.

i may be arank ametuer according, but i dont actually go out of my way to hurt anyone, so im not sure what basis you have for that one.
i dont care what life you were in, but you were never ever like me. and you obviously arent up to much now if a few 'rank ameteur' comments can cause you to swear and call me baby names. funny, seems i got a reaction out of you. not bad for someone who was never as good as you eh?
personally i dont really care how you act, but thank you for showing me that you have wasted your time disecting me enough to put your paragraph together for me. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know that you dislike me and yet still spend your time thinking about me.
thank you.

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ****** Finally, you say that I dismiss anyone who disagrees with me. But at the risk of being accused of ‘dismissing you’ I’d have to disagree with your comment. As evidence to the contrary I point out that in my last post Beruthiel, MAJD, Seamus, Drowner and others all disagreed with my P.O.V. yet where I found there to be truth their statements I was quick to credit them for their observations and opinions. As an addendum, in this post I am even able to back down to MercTilt and EthO to whom I feel my comments were partially unjustified. So I think your statement holds little credence.

you may have told people they had good points, but then you told them they were wrong.
your commecnts were unjustified, in the similar vain as calling me names were. wow, how humble of you.

Originally posted by Unregistered

***** WHITEWASHMAN ******
Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge, so once again I thank you for your opinions and I'll leave it at that.

youre welcome.
i dont expect a response to this, and i dont want one.
its a shame you wont tell us who you are so we can see the real you. i think an opinion such as yours would be more relavant to this topic if we could understand who you are, rather than some unregistered person whom we know nothing about. then the only conversation we can really have is all theory. i would like to know who you are so i can judge for myself.
i dont believe you are a misoginyst for a second. i just think its an interesting topic.

Help I'm a misogynist (response to feedback)

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