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i will survive!!!!

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  • 30-08-2002 12:19pm
    #1
    ayatollah
    Registered Users Posts: 1,234 ✭✭✭


    Versions of the Gloria Gaynor's famous song....

    MALE VERSION::

    First I was afraid I was petrified
    At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side
    I would've drunk a little less,
    I would've tried to keep my head.
    If I'd known for just one second you'd
    Assault me in your bed.

    I tried to go, walk out the door
    But you've been sitting on my legs and
    I Can't feel them anymore
    And now you're sitting on my face,
    my nose has vanished - not a trace,
    I only hope that you're big knickers aren't
    Made of liquorice lace

    I want to go, I've got to leave
    Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave
    Only hope that no one saw me walking home
    With such a slut.
    God the things that you get up to
    when you're half cut.

    Please let me go, I'm getting scared
    There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly
    Breasts from being bared.
    I think that I must have been mad, God what
    Made me want to court her?
    With tits that look like Tesco bags I've just
    Filled up with water

    It's time to go, run out the door
    She's started hinting she wants sex on her
    Dirty lino floor
    I don't think there's anything worse
    Than the al-co-hol-ics curse.

    I WILL SURVIVE !

    To which the girls reply.........

    FEMALE VERSION

    At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
    By the ugly wanker that was lying by my side.
    I would've drunk a little less, I would've
    Tried to keep my head,
    If I'd know for just one second I'd be in
    Your crusty bed...

    I tried to go, walk out the door.
    But I laughed so hard at your small knob that
    I've fallen on the floor.
    Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out
    disgrace,
    But I'd rather look at that, than at your
    ****ing ugly face...!

    I want to go, I've got to leave.
    Your talk of chicks and football really makes
    Me want to heave.
    I only know I've got to stop my drinking
    Spirts and the beer
    Coz when I looked at you last night, you
    Looked just like Richard Gere !

    Please let me go, I feel quite sick,
    We had the worst sex in the world and you're
    An ugly prick
    I should have shagged your gorgeous mate,
    At least he's got a lovely flat
    But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm
    Stuck with you, you twat.

    It's time to go, run out the door.
    You look so ugly it should really be against the law.
    I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going
    To have no stupid fun
    Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me
    Want to be a nun !

    I WILL SURVIVE!!


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