blonde

goose

ONE.

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2
in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked
up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should
I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't
know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is
clear."

TWO.

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm,
this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the
compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says,
"You dummy, it's me!"

THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his
apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds
him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes
the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells,
"No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know
all of them." A friend says, OK, what's the capital
of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIVE
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told
her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

SIX
A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific
accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself
from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying
fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My
God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion
that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK
ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped."
Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer
asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it
was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
driving long this road when from out of nowhere this TREE
pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right,
and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and
there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and
there was another tree! I swerved to the left and
there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off,
"There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your
air freshener swinging back and forth."

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned
the police at once and reported the crime. The police
dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog
on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on
the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I
call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

bozzie

roflol:D
great jokes

Mutz

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned
the police at once and reported the crime. The police
dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog
on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on
the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I
call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Brilliant.. havent heard that before

irishman_abroad

Blonde jokes --- funny coz theyre true:rolleyes:

Venom

Lol.

Dredz

I liked all but number 7