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Anyone out there as lonely as me???

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  • 10-09-2002 10:56pm
    #1
    MadMan1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    I have a problem talking to new people so its hard to meet new people. I'm a real nice guy but talking to women in person is hard for me. I try to much to change to suit people and forget to be myself and i hate that.Does anyone have the same problem as me???


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    #2
    Samson
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭Samson


    Originally posted by MadMan1
    I try to much to change to suit people and forget to be myself

    A lot of people do that in the initial stages of a "relationship", it's normal enough.
    I guess it's done to try to steer those you are interested in away from any deficiency in your character.
    I would not be unduly worried about it.


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    #3
    Seraphina
    Registered Users Posts: 2,875 ✭✭✭Seraphina


    i have trouble meeting new ppl too, basically i'm terrified of them!
    i dont know what it is but i become so shy and quiet around people i dont know they always think im a bore. i make well just downright weird first impressions, even tho im a nice person really
    REALLY!


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    #4
    Saruman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    MadMan1 i doubt very much you are the only one like that.. i would be similar too.. im not actually that shy to be honest but i am quiet more often than not so it seems im shy and boring... Im certainly not bored myself and like Seraphina i am a nice person and do come across that way... though it helps if someone gets to know me to figure that one out! catch22...

    One suggestion.. dont change to fit in unless you are unhappy with who you are... are you lonely?? Actually feel lonely? I dont myself soi dont change who i am for anyone.. sure my personality might be a little different around different people but im still me, just might be a little louder around some people thats all..


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    #5
    Sposs
    Registered Users Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Sposs


    Sometimes you can feel lonely Surrounded by friends!!!


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    #6
    GUI
    Registered Users Posts: 1,237 ✭✭✭GUI


    Sposs is right..
    you can be surrounded by people /friends /family
    24/7 but sill feel lonely..

    i think what ur looking for is
    for someone to share ur time with..
    and to make u feel like someone cares

    am i right?
    I think so :-)

    Start looking from now :-)


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Originally posted by Sposs
    Sometimes you can feel lonely Surrounded by friends!!!

    One of the truest statments iv seen on boards! But as far as what you said i can lend a bit of advice.

    People who REALY know me well will tell you im very shy and hard to get to know......HOWEVER...... I was head of the entertainment s commiette in college in 2nd year and President in 3rd year and I also captained the football team etc.

    How can a shy person do this?

    Ill tell you.
    Confidence is all down to practice and more practice. The first time you go up and start talking to a stranger you **** youeself, but then just after you say hello you suddenly realize that this person is just as glad to meet you as you are to meet them. As you keep on building up the courage you will find talking to stangers easier and easier. Start small talk to a mates mate that you havent meet before or you dont realy know; then try slightly bigger some guy off your footy team or something, but, keep practicing and it will come.

    Also if you have a problem building up the courage just remember these points.....

    1/ Everyone (unless they are too stupid to think that far ahead) has the same insecurities that you do, everyone has even, if the are beatiful and realy good at stuff the still have things they dont like about themselves. You aret the only one we all dout ourselves.

    2/ You are NOT so important that "Everyones looking at my stupid looking Dress/jacket/hair/form of speack etc". You might think people are looking at you and thinking what a feak....BUT they arent why should they?? they dont care that much to put the thought into it.

    3/ Yes you arent as good looking or charasmatic as everyone else but so what!?!? people DONT CARE.

    4/ Other people are diying to meet new people all the time theres about 2% of people in the world who will say "**** I dont want to know you" If you just say "Hi whats your name?". I wont happen! That realy good looking gril is just as lonley as you, maybe more so some cuz the people she knows are just after one thing..?

    5/ Its just that easy walk up to someone and say "Hi hows it going what do you do?". If I offered you money to do that youd think I was mad!! Well its your way to new friend its just that easy.

    6/ WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE! if you say "Hi" to someone whats the worst that could happen???? Realy what is the absolute worst? Very little! Give it a go you will never look back DO IT TODAY!

    A word of warning........
    Also if you mull these things over and realy think about them, discuss them with someone, they will work I PROMISE you! However always remember your real friends. You can be the mots popular guy in your school/college and still feel increadably alone. Find real friends that like you and you like back, popularity WILL NOT bring you happiness!!!


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