Scangers

Winters

God i really do hate them.




Its there whole attitude that i dislike. The way the way have to
a) walk
b) talk
c) act

that really annoyes me. If you could lock them all up....or make a sort of "happy scanger jail" where they could all go and beat the sh1t into each other i would be happier.

Though there are people who want to be scangers and people who are scangers.....make sure you get the real scangers in the "happy jail"

(I will make a better post once i am of a sane state of mind)

GoneShootin

i think its about time to take the "law" into our own hands

thats why i am offering to loan the SMAT logo for the cause, just edit it to Scanger Muppet Attack Team

Get da Scangers

a word from a Leading Scanger

Nevyn

simply done round them all up when they go to buy the sun, the hair gel or thier jhonny blue and into the army they go for boot camp. do we need national service or a sort sometimes i think we do.

They seem to range from dundalk down into blanch/finglas/ballymun/baldoyle/cabra and thats just the northside

Gerry

Originally posted by kaids


haha my barse, Dundrum is full of scangers.

Yup, agreed. I started working in dundrum 7 months ago, I expected it would be a "nice area". Not at all. The surrounding areas have much less scum, but dundrum is full of it. Plenty of people buying dutch at lunchtime, or before lunch.

Shazbat

Scangers are the coolest members of the Irish populous. They are mostly found in the Dublin Inner City and selected suburbs but are known to inhabit parts of Cork, Galway and other major Irish cities. Scangers are the new Rock 'N' Roll in this country and everyone wants to be one. This is a surefire test to see if you are a scanger. Just keep count of the number of "YES" answers you get from these 30 questions.

1.Have you ever had something slightly resembling a dead hamster above your lip? (known more commonly as a 'nackertache')
Yes or No

2.Do you wear soccer jerseys to the pub or local nightclub as fashion items? (preferably Man Utd jerseys)
Yes or No

3.Have you ever owned a pair of 'Nike Air Max'?
Yes or No

4.Is the identity of your real father a mystery?
Yes or No

5.When you can't hear or mishear what someone is saying do you say "WHA!!?" so they will repeat it?
Yes or No

6.Do you pronounce '****e' like 'SHOi!!!'
Yes or No

7.Do you pronounce 'bollocks' 'BALLIX!!!'?
Yes or No

8.Do you believe someone looking at you is a legitimate reason to get twenty of your scumbag mates to break his arms and **** down his throat, one after another?
Yes or No

9.Have you ever asked anybody "Do you want a BAYTIN'"?
Yes or No

10.Do you celebrate winning a fight by urinating on the opponent’s head?
Yes or No

11.Do you believe you and ten of your scumbag mates(who may or may not include Bierno, Earlo, Micko, Johnny Scanger and/or Keeeh Duffy) against some wee lad named Dexter is a fair fight?
Yes or No

12.Have you ever owned a 'Scooter' record or thought his hit single "LET ME BE YOUR VALENTINE" was a classic?
Yes or No

13.Have you ever had an address in Sherrif Streeh or The Mun?
Yes or No

14.Have you ever held up a sweet shop with a seringe filled with H.I.V infected blood(preferably yours)?
Yes or No

15.Were you born North of the river Liffey or do you regard Grafton Street as foreign?
Yes or No

16.Is there an 'O' at the end of your name?
Yes or No

17.If you were offered a free bar would you reject a bottle of 1969 Moet Champagne for a can of Stonehouse Cider?
Yes or No

18.Did you ever spray 'Up the 'Ra on the wall without knowing who the "Ra" were?
Yes or No

19.Do you attend the remedial clinic more than Maradona?
Yes or No

20.Were you a Da by the age of 14?
Yes or No

21.Would you tell your girlfriend that you "Couldn't give a SHOI!!!" if she said she was pregnant?
Yes or No

22.Do you know what a 'Steamer' is?
Yes or No

23.Have you ever been a member of the 'S.S.F.F'(Sherrif Street Freedom Fighters) or the 'Inver'?
Yes or No

24.Have you ever spent time in a youth detention facility?
Yes or No

25.Have you ever worked in McDonalds or even applied?
Yes or No

26.Have you ever had either a Ratstail, a Crew Cut or a Mullet?
Yes or No

27.Do you think 2Pac was cool?
Yes or No

28.Do you beat seven shades of ****e out of anonymous people and piss on their face simply because they have 'Kerrang', 'Sepultura', 'Pantera' or 'Metallica' t-shirts?
Yes or No

29.Was it you who stole the milk money in school?
Yes or No

30.And shat on the wall blaming it on some geek who you said you'd kill after school?
Yes or No

Now count up your mark and check below to see your scanger rating.


0-5 Posh bastard. Your parents are probably Nobility and you probably went to Belvo, Clongos or Blackrock. You play Rugby and detest soccer. You were probably bullied as a youngster by a scanger and have hated them ever since. You don't mix with the working class but you secretly wish you had a Barry McGuigan moustache and crave the sex appeal and charm of a roguish Northsider.



6-10 Mommy's little baby. You're just a loser who knows nothing but Oscar Wilde and Boyzone. You refuse to believe Stephen Gately is from Sherriff Street and you probably have homosexual tendencies. Sooner or later a scanger is going to shove a seringe up your arse. You prick.


11-15 Streetwise enough to know not to answer 'No' when a scanger asks you if you want a batin'. You've probably had a few run ins with scangers but can speak the lingo to get you out of trouble. You've probably been mates with Bierno at one stage or another but your friendship ended when you started working on Grafton Street.



16-20 You probably have an O at the end of your name. You scanger wannabe. You come from a posh background but act hard around your semi scanger mates who only tolerate you because your dad owns a Cider company. Every so often the leader of your gang beats you up and steals your Stonehouse cider, which you didn't want to drink because you prefer a good chardanay. Fudgepacker.



21-25 You are skilled in the ways of the scanger but try hard to be a failure. You turn up early on Dole Day and try to keep up with your Best Mate Bierno at drinking Stonehouse. You do Heroine the odd time but only because Bierno tells you to. Your 14 year old girlfriend is pregnant but you don't know whether to kick her in the stomach or give her money for an abortion. Your future as Bierno's right hand man depends on how you deal with this situation. Well done, you should be proud of yourself.



26-30 The ultimate scanger. You've never ventured south of the Liffey because you believe you'll fall off the edge of the world. You have a vocabulary of under twenty words which includes 'wha', 'shoi' and 'Ballix'. You have more children than a tinker not to mention A.I.D.S ,syphilis and a seven foot codger. Ever finger has a sovereign ring one which has the name 'BIERNO' on it. You're hair has never grown more than 1mm and you have an earring in your left ear. Air Max and Man U jerseys are all you wear, no need to mention you nicked them, along with that mobile phone. You drink cider by the bucketload and use you ciderbelly to bate straying Southsiders. You could have played for Ireland but you rode Jackie's 12 year old daughter. Your only day of work is when you drag yourself down to the dole office on a thursday. But you're comforted to know that although your an ugly, flea ridden **** you'll have a bird better looking than Britney or even Catwoman.




WHA?



SHOI!!


ME BALLIX!!

Shazbat

Originally posted by lordsippa
ARGH! ..... just laugh when they insult you......

....In fairness, tallaght isn't too bad .....

Just make sure not to laugh within earshot as I did one night in tallaght, after they said something like "uhh get a haircut you hippy" the usual witty remark. I laughed and as i walked on down the road half a brick sailed by my ear and I bravely ran away only to be be outpaced (damn their nike air max) by the cider-drinking psychopaths and I was lucky not to have my brains kicked out.

Another scanger related incident in tallaght was when one spat in my face from a passing car window as I was cycling through tallaght village. Their sense of humour is sophisticated beyond belief.

In fairness Tallaght is a dunghole. But its ok if you can camoflauge yourself to look like a member of one of the tallaght scanger tribes.

Turnip

Our ridiculous social welfare system practically forces these scum to breed and multiply like rats. That's what they are. Verminous violent disgusting parasites. Makes me laugh when I hear them complaining about their "entitlement" to corporation housing. While normal people struggle to get a mortgage and get on the property ladder, these specimens of human de-evolution expect free everything. We need a flood of cheap toxic heroin to act as a modern plague.

Prundic

This 'SCANGER' revolution IS SPREADING.People here in Wicklow(Wickla')are most definitely catching on to the idea.Groups of 12-16 year old 'boys and girls',huddled in dark allyways or laneways sipping their cans of Budweiser hurling abuse at innocent people passing by after maybe 2 cans of their favourite Ale.Sad really,most of them don't know any better.

metalish

Drowner u were saying bout the big earings- i was on the bus coming home from college and these girls come on and sit at the top of the bus at back, one of the girls had so much makeup on her it was naerly falling off, and i swear to god she had these massive ring earings that did actually go down to her shoulder, i really just wanted to stand up go over to her and rip the thing out of her ear. And the ones that hang round temple bar or to get people to think that they are rockers etc. i wanna hurt them very bad.

STaN

Shweeeaaaaaaaarrrrr

If you dont want to be near scangers, dont go to "gigi's", previously the vactican.

U get the usual comments:

- Hey j00, what do ye think of meh bird
- She's alright
- Hey, wanna score her?
- Nah m8, ive a gf
- Why won't ye score her? U said she was good looking, why wont ye?
- M8, really ive a gf, i cant
- Wtf, u calling her ugly?
- Right ill score her
-- Go score his bird
-- Come back
- Wtf u doing kissing my bird fag0t

fisifan01

Originally posted by Shazbat


Just make sure not to laugh within earshot as I did one night in tallaght, after they said something like "uhh get a haircut you hippy" the usual witty remark. I laughed and as i walked on down the road half a brick sailed by my ear and I bravely ran away only to be be outpaced (damn their nike air max) by the cider-drinking psychopaths and I was lucky not to have my brains kicked out.

Another scanger related incident in tallaght was when one spat in my face from a passing car window as I was cycling through tallaght village. Their sense of humour is sophisticated beyond belief.

In fairness Tallaght is a dunghole. But its ok if you can camoflauge yourself to look like a member of one of the tallaght scanger tribes.

HOW DARE YOU!!. I used to have long hair and i was never harrased in tallaght over it. I was walking through knocklyon one day.(i dont mean any disrespect to people from that particular area) but i was called a smelly rocker for wearing a foo fighters tee shirt. Foo fighters aren`t even a heavy metal band. what im saying is that scangers are prevalent EVERYWHERE and that you shouldn`t associate certain types of people with certain areas of dublin. Well i suppose you can retire to your leafy affluent dublin suburb thinking you are better than everyone else.

Makaveli

Originally posted by fisifan01


but i was called a smelly rocker for wearing a foo fighters tee shirt. Foo fighters aren`t even a heavy metal band.

Yeah but they didnt call you a smelly heavy metaler, they called you a smelly rocker. And the foo fighters are a rock band.;)

ferdi

"me an' de lads r goin' off for a madz fookah sesha!!!"

There are young fellas in every counrty in the world exactly the same as the "scangers in Dublin" i think they're cool with the tracksuits and gold and what have you they are so funny, there only young fellas having a laugh, i've no problem with that. i get the p.iss ripped outta me by them for having longish hair and the clothes i wear.

i think people who have a big problem with scangers should be glad that the scangers here dont really dont do anything - if this were somewhere like Hamburg they could be neo-nazis or russians or turkish gangs beating the shi.t outta eachother and everyone else with loadsa gang murders etc.

long live our mild mannered scangers!!

ferdi

PiE

I'm pretty sure if they had access to weapons, they'd use them. They're not harmless morons, some of them are downright sadistic.

Prundic

The pic attached is purely my imagination running wild and is not meant to offend.It is not personal either.He does not look like anyone I know anyway!

GoneShootin

u 4got to point out the standard im guilty fringe

SantaHoe

Hmm, an uncanny likeness Prundic... you should do the photo-fits for Crime Line

Funny... just picturing 'Johnno' looking in the mirror before he leaves the 'gaff' - "ah yeh, dah looks deeeadly"
I don't mind skangers as long as they don't talk to me or touch me, or look at me for any extended period of time.

And how come they never have their own bloody smokes?!
Pet hate: Some skanger that's a few years younger than you, addressing you as 'youngfla'... grraarrgh, you'll never get a smoke off me now 'bud'.

DiscoStu

okay we've established that they are smelly, stupid, sadistic f*cks who if had access to weapons there would be mass killings going on and that they are everywhere. in addition they are chronic 40 a day smokers but have never bought a packet of smokes in their entire life and finally have no comprehension of the concept of age.

right, now we must work out
1. why they exist.
2. how have they have not beat each other in extinction.
and most pressing
3. how the hell do we kill them?

Makaveli

Originally posted by DiscoStu
1. why they exist.

Genetics.
You see, they all have what is known as the "scauldy" gene.
At this very moment in time, scientists across the globe are working on a virus that will affect only those with said gene, and eliminate them.
So that covers question 3 too.
As for question 2, I dunno, they reproduce at such high rates (comparable to rabbits) that perhaps they are kicking each other to death but we dont notice because birth rate is higher than death rate.

SantaHoe

Originally posted by DiscoStu
3. how the hell do we kill them?

Hrm, maybe Slobodan Milosevic would be available for some freelance genocide?
That's going a bit far there in fairness... they're just normal people who act/speak/dress a certain way because their friends/family are like that, and that's normal to them.
They're not all loud, smelly, aggressive people, but I suppose we're talking here about the ones that are.
I'd reccomend a lengthy TV campaign, sort of like those anti-smoking adds... and instead of that guy Nico, they'd have Johnno.
"Hi, I'm Johnno. I'm here to tell you about my new scanger perfume spray and free hoopy earrings"

lordsippa

Heh... Tara Hill... Holy Lands... Whitechurch...

once had a bottle thrown at me as i walked past a bush... was quite scary...

I think the heroin idea is possibly the best... I'll get to work immediately.

thedrowner

why do u think a percentage of them have such scarred faces???because they DO have access to weapons. i saw a group of scangers set upon a girl...there's no bottom to how low they can stoop. They dont need alcohol to get going, some of them, they will pass remarks anyway, ebcause its 'fun'.

little scanger kids pelting stones and even bricks at busses, which is so dangerous, as most people arent expecting this, and i fear ill see the day i witness someone have a heart attack over the fright they get.

i work on thomas street so i get to see the creme de la creme. somebody was stabbed on the doorstep only last week and he got 100 stitches....

in limerick, they used this trick where they slash someone's face with 2 blades at a time so there's not enough skin for it to be stitched back together. how sick is that?

Shazbat

Originally posted by fisifan01

HOW DARE YOU!!. I used to have long hair and i was never harrased in tallaght over it.

They must have thought you were a girl. (only joking)


Tallaght is no better or no worse than any other suburb of dublin.

It has the worst name though and I probably shouldn't be adding to the problem.

So I apologise wholeheartedly to Tallaght and all the Talafornians that I have offended.

(For the record I live in Tallaght)

richindub2

Originally posted by Shazbat

Tallaght is no better or no worse than any other suburb of dublin.

im pretty sure youre more likely to get mugged walking through tallaght at 1am than walking through blackrock / foxrock / wherever ...which would make it worse in my book :P

p

Originally posted by richindub2
im pretty sure youre more likely to get mugged walking through tallaght at 1am than walking through blackrock / foxrock / wherever ...which would make it worse in my book :P

Having lived in Tallaght all my life I can say I'd feel safer walking around live, tallaght village, than the city centre. In the CC you get the concentration of the worst scum. Out here you just have to deal with your own lot.

Someone else said that everywhere is like that. Well it sure isn't. I've just spent the summer in New York, and the place was a whole lot safer than Dublin.

You're always going to get criminals true,
but there's too many assholes who just want to pick fights in dublin, be they scangers or whatever. Something seriously needs to be done about it.


- Kevin

Shazbat

Originally posted by richindub2


im pretty sure youre more likely to get mugged walking through tallaght at 1am than walking through blackrock / foxrock / wherever ...which would make it worse in my book :P

True, but in those areas you'd probably get sexually assaulted by a load of public school rugby players though.

Pepe LeFrits

When D4 Cunts go bad III!

Nevyn

They are dangerous as two of my siblings were attcked by there for no reason just happened to be walking by. One at stiches after being hit with a bile wheel sans tyre.

There ohter had to stay in hospital fter getting a cracked skull.

When i got jumped on a few years back and gave as good as i got they tried to press charges against me. As they had records and one of the was out on parole didnt get very far.

seamus

Originally posted by Thaed
When i got jumped on a few years back and gave as good as i got they tried to press charges against me. As they had records and one of the was out on parole didnt get very far.

That seems to be a big favourite among travellers. "Defend yourself and we'll sue".

A friend of mine and her boyfriend were in Santa Ponsa 2 years ago, and unfortunately, went in September, when all the travellers go. Anyway, one night they attempted to stop a fella from beating the crap out of his gf, at which point, both the guy and his gf turned on them. The next night, they arrive back at their apartment to find 10 or 11 travellers after breaking in and going through their stuff. The obvious fight breaks out, and my mate and her bf end up with cuts, etc. The fight only broke up when a whole pile of other Irish lads came in and threw the travellers out.

Anyway, they get home, to find a summons on the doorstep - they were being sued by the travellers who broke into their apartment and attacked them. A quick solicitor's letter with the words 'countersue', and they heard nothing else.

I'd be surprised if your average white baseball cap, purple lights on the moped/car knacker was into this though

Oeneus

Originally posted by STaN
Shweeeaaaaaaaarrrrr

If you dont want to be near scangers, dont go to "gigi's", previously the vactican.

U get the usual comments:

- Hey j00, what do ye think of meh bird
- She's alright
- Hey, wanna score her?
- Nah m8, ive a gf
- Why won't ye score her? U said she was good looking, why wont ye?
- M8, really ive a gf, i cant
- Wtf, u calling her ugly?
- Right ill score her
-- Go score his bird
-- Come back
- Wtf u doing kissing my bird fag0t

That is so true. I went to a friends house in Newtown years ago and these two guys came up to me and asked me "Do yeh like Catholics?". Then they tried to persuade me to say "No" so that they could beat the **** out of me! :rolleyes: