More Q+A [Viewer Discretion perhaps?!]

kaimera

Q. What is the definition of Confidence?
A. When your wife catches you in bed with another woman & you slap her on the ass & say, "You're next!"


Q. What's the difference between a bitch & a whore?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, & a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.


Q. What's the difference between love, true love & showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing & gargling


Q. What 3 words do you dread most while making love?
A. "Honey, I'm home."


Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his arse.


Q. What did the gynaecologist & the pizza deliveryman have in common?
A. They both get to smell the goods but neither one can eat it.


Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.


Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A. Full.


How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.


Q. What's somewhat brown & often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.


Q. Why are women & Kentucky Fried Chicken the same?
A. By the time you're finished with the breast & thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.


Q. How are tornadoes & marriage alike?
A. They both begin with a lot of sucking & blowing, & in the end you lose your house.

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because everybody who can run, jump & swim are already in the US.


Q. Why don't they teach highway code & sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.


Q. Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A. Because men fake foreplay.


Q. What's the difference between getting a divorce & getting circumcised?
A. When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!


Q. Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blowjob.


Q. How do you find a blonde in long grass?
A. Pleasing!


Q. How do little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...


Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he’s a goblin'.


Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.


Q. How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
A. The tongue's still in the envelope.


Q. What's the difference between a blonde & an ironing board?
A. It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.


Q. What's pink & hard?
A. A pig with a flick knife.


Q. Why do seagulls have wings?
A. To beat the gypsies to the tip.


Q. How do you get three little old ladies to say the "F" word?
A. Have a fourth one yell "Bingo!" or "house!"


Q. Why did god create women?
A. Because dogs can't get beer out the fridge.


Q. How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled 'Coping with Darkness'.


Q. What have women & condoms got in common?
A. Both spend more time in your wallet than on the end of your cock.


Q. How do you make a dog drink?
A. Put it in a liquidizer.


Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.


Q. How is pussy like a grapefruit?
A. The best ones squirt when you eat them. (quality)


Q. Why do Italians wear moustaches?
A. So they can look like their mother.


Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.


Q. Did you hear about the new shade of Dulux called "Blonde"?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.


Q. Why do women have FOREHEADS?
A. So you have someplace to kiss them after they give you a BLOWJOB.

TomTom

No comment

superconor

hmm, raised a smile.

isnt no comment still a comment?

Guest

hmm...

Mutz

Yep.. I laughed