If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)

Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Bunny be gone

irishgeo · 2002-09-13 23:50:25

For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfil a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard ploughed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "Hooray!" shouted the guide.…

Options

Comments

Options
#32 20-09-2002 4:01pm
Snoop_froggy

Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭

Join Date: September 2001

Posts: 22

Why did the girl fall out of the tree?

She had no arms!

Why didn't she get back up?

She had no legs!

0
Options
#33 20-09-2002 8:06pm
Goodshape

Registered Users Posts: 8,488 ✭✭✭

Join Date: October 2001

Posts: 8168

Banned for a week for that one.

0
Options
#34 21-09-2002 7:17pm
Makaveli

Registered Users Posts: 8,503 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2001

Posts: 8310

A man walked into a bar.
It hurt his head.

weh weh weh :rolleyes:

0
Options
#35 21-09-2002 8:27pm
celts1888

Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭

Join Date: September 2002

Posts: 1

3

0
Options
#36 22-09-2002 2:01am
cournioni

Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 12,739 Mod ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2001

Posts: 12438

y did the red neck plant cherios in his yard......

he thought they were doghnut seeds.

0
Advertisement
Options
#37 22-09-2002 3:06am
Bard

Registered Users Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2000

Posts: 11216

Originally posted by Mistakill
Whats Green and brown and if it fell out of a tree it would kikll you?

A snooker table.

but I'm not UNDER a tree!!!!

...

yeah.

Ok. Three tomatoes are walking down the street: Pappa tomato, Mamma tomato and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Pappa tomato gets really angry,... goes back and *PTHHHH!* ... squishes him.

Says: `ketchup`.

0
Options
#38 22-09-2002 8:33pm
oeNeo

Closed Accounts Posts: 3,299 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2000

Posts: 3159

What did the legless tourist do while on holiday?

Bum around Ireland...

:rolleyes:

0
Options
#39 22-09-2002 8:38pm
strat

Registered Users Posts: 3,005 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2001

Posts: 2882

ALTERNATE ENDING !!!!

Originally posted by Bard
Two cows in a field.

One cow says to the other: "Jayzuz I'm terrible worried about this BSE, Mad Cow Disease stuff... t'is terrible concernin' so ti's"

The other cow looks at him for a moment, chews the cud a bit, blinks, and then says...

...*woof*

0
Options
#40 23-09-2002 9:37am
Bard

Registered Users Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2000

Posts: 11216

Originally posted by StrataGIST
ALTERNATE ENDING !!!!

...*woof*

or...

"Ah shur I wouldn't know, I'm a duck!"

0
Options
#41 23-09-2002 3:23pm
MelKor

Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭

Join Date: November 2001

Posts: 157

whats furry,black, white and red, spins round' at 60 miles an hour and screams?

a puppy in a blender.

a priest a rabbi and vicar walk into a bar, the barman looks at them and says,... is this some kind of a joke?

0
Advertisement
Options
#42 23-09-2002 10:02pm
Dredz

Closed Accounts Posts: 194 ✭✭

Join Date: June 2001

Posts: 181

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs...

0
Options
#43 24-09-2002 12:55pm
naughty

Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭

Join Date: June 2002

Posts: 11

Wat do u call a man with a spade in his head?
doug

What do u call a man with no spade in his head?
douglas

wat do u call a man standin on a doorstep?
matt

wat do u call a man standin on a doorstep about to sneeze?
matthew

Wat do u call a girl with 1 leg?
eileen

Wat do u call a girl with no legs?
noleen

can ive a cupa Theee heee

0
Options
#44 26-09-2002 1:59am
DapperGent

Registered Users Posts: 4,838 ✭✭✭

Join Date: May 2002

Posts: 4629

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
Warren

This'll probably be editted but...

...you were right...

Don't do that again - expecially when you know it's going to happen.

1 week ban.

0
Options
#45 26-09-2002 3:49am
Ajnag

Closed Accounts Posts: 691 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2002

Posts: 661

I see no ones done an enda kenny on it yet,

so there this N..........

On second thoughts, the jokes here are bad enough, so let loose the mother of them all

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

mhahahahhahhahhahahh:D

0
Options
#46 26-09-2002 1:02pm
ozpass

Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2002

Posts: 838

Why did the cat cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken.:(

0
Options
#47 26-09-2002 2:24pm
OLDYELLAR

Closed Accounts Posts: 9,230 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2002

Posts: 8961

why did the chewing gum cross the road?

because it was stuck to the chickens leg

0
Options
#48 26-09-2002 8:10pm
GoneShootin

Closed Accounts Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2001

Posts: 7146

when is a door not a door ?

when it is, ajar

0
Options
#49 26-09-2002 9:09pm
Snoop_froggy

Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭

Join Date: September 2001

Posts: 22

None of that either - 1 week ban

0
Options
#50 27-09-2002 12:19am
Makaveli

Registered Users Posts: 8,503 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2001

Posts: 8310

Originally posted by Gone Shootin
when is a door not a door ?

when it is, ajar

lol nice one

0
Options
#51 27-09-2002 5:03pm
Carbiens

Closed Accounts Posts: 593 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2002

Posts: 554

a lady walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entrage,

so he gave her one

0
Advertisement
Options
#52 30-09-2002 4:56pm
Okie

Closed Accounts Posts: 651 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2002

Posts: 584

What's the last thing a red-neck says before he dies?

"Hey Maw!! Watch THIS!!"

Well I liked it!

0
Options
#53 30-09-2002 8:41pm
banbutcher

Registered Users Posts: 483 ✭✭

Join Date: April 2002

Posts: 371

What do you call a mexican who just got out of hospital?......Manwell *spelling*

what do you call a mexican who is just after getting his car stolen?....Carlos

0
Options
#54 01-10-2002 9:32am
TomTom

Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,290 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2001

Posts: 2997

what do you call a man with no legs or arms flooting in the see?

BOB

0
Options
#55 02-10-2002 9:45pm
harryhawk

Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭

Join Date: August 2002

Posts: 7

all good uns!

what ticks on a wall ......... a clock??? No....... ticky paper?

0
Options
#56 03-10-2002 9:55am
Benbaz

Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭

Join Date: September 2002

Posts: 284

As seen as we're all in silly mode......here goes.......

Why did the chicken take LSD??

To get to the "other side" maaaan!!!!

Did you hear about the Dyslexic guy who walked into a Bra?????

Did you hear about the Dyslexic, Insomniac, Atheist who stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a Dog!!!!!

0
Options
#57 03-10-2002 9:57am
Kairo

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2001

Posts: 1501

What has 2 legs and bleeds all over the carpet.....

Half a Cat :P

thank you somethingawful.com

0
Options
#58 03-10-2002 10:27am
GoneShootin

Closed Accounts Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2001

Posts: 7146

What has 2 legs and bleeds all over the carpet....

hmmm, i have alternate punchline, concerning a female and time of month

0
Options
#59 03-10-2002 11:47am
TomTom

Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,290 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2001

Posts: 2997

The energizer bunny was arrested?

He was charged with BATTERY

sorry I just had to get it out of my system and people here can hit me for telling it.

0
Options
#60 03-10-2002 11:50am
Carbiens

Closed Accounts Posts: 593 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2002

Posts: 554

:rolleyes:

0
Advertisement
Options
#61 03-10-2002 11:51am
GoneShootin

Closed Accounts Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2001

Posts: 7146

vote this to be merged with this thread

0