Wierdest thing ever to wake you up

leeroybrown · 10-10-2002 6:50pm #1

Whats the wierdest thing you ever woke up to?

I was woken up this morning not by my alarm clock but by a dog standing on my head.

Now some of you with dogs mightn't find this strange, but I don't have a dog, I've never had a dog and no-one in my house has a dog.

One of the lads let a dog into the house then put it into my room to piss me off.

Wierd it was, but funny!

Karl Hungus · 10-10-2002 6:59pm

I once was woken up by a stark bollock naked Austrailian girl at a hostel only the other week. Odd thing is, she didn't care I was staring at her.

Mr.Applepie · 10-10-2002 7:00pm

Originally posted by AngelWhore
I once was woken up by a stark bollock naked Austrailian girl at a hostel only the other week. Odd thing is, she didn't care I was staring at her.

Good looking stark bollock naked Australian girl?

azezil · 10-10-2002 7:02pm

condemed house in my a puddle of my own (i think) puke

middle of a wall in same house

at bottom of stairs of same house

good nite

phaxx · 10-10-2002 7:03pm

Smacking my head into the thick supporting wall beside my bed. Hows that?

Blade · 10-10-2002 7:39pm

Being woken by 5 cops standing over me with a warrant in my face. It wasn't me I didn't do nothing tho I swear.

Karl Hungus · 10-10-2002 7:44pm

Originally posted by Mr.Applepie
Good looking stark bollock naked Australian girl?

Very...

I also woke up naked in a bathtub filled with my own vomit in London.

PiE · 10-10-2002 7:50pm

I woke up to the not-so-pleasant sight of my sisters ex climbing in the back window at 3am the day she dumped him.

BuffyBot · 10-10-2002 8:12pm

Wasn't directly woken up by it - but by my housemate who decided to tell me there was a naked drunk man urinating in his bedroom wardrobe....a guy staying in our house hit the vodka a little bit heavily..

TacT · 10-10-2002 8:24pm

A feckin bat trying to get out of my attic room in a mate's house in France which I probably didn't hear all night cus I was out for the count when i came back after a dwinkie sesiunta..

Kai · 10-10-2002 8:26pm

Dunno about weird but the worst way i ever woke up was when my guitar fell off a shelf and hit me in the face. it was about 7 o clock in the morning after a house party.
one of my friends had been drunkenly playing it and didnt put it back properly, i still bear the scars.

GoneShootin · 10-10-2002 8:50pm

a lamb's arse against my face

i kid you not !

the sister brought one in home early one morn from the field with the direct purpose of doing just that....

b!tch

Gordon · 10-10-2002 9:02pm

The wierdest thing I ever woke up to was an ex girlfriend of mine. She was wierd, she is wierd and I'm sure she always will be.

When I was younger we got my electric guitar and amplifier and woke up a friend of mine by putting it on full blast ultra distortion and blared hard core riffs in his ears to wake him up

(only to be copied by quirky funsters Jackass many years later)

[CALIBUR] · 10-10-2002 9:18pm

I once was woken up by a stark bollock naked Austrailian girl at a hostel only the other week. Odd thing is, she didn't care I was staring at her.

fs I've being woken by a cat and u get the Naked lady.

conZ · 10-10-2002 9:23pm

fluckin cd player scratchin the sheet out of my frames cd this morning.
must have been at it all night cos i started the cd at 1am and woke at 8.30am

the cd is no more than 1 hour long too

Doc · 10-10-2002 9:23pm

Was woken up by a wasp stinging me 2 times while in my bed, the odd bit was it was only about a week before Christmas.

Woke up to a cat sitting ½’’ from my face, no one in the house owned the cat, it was a stray that somehow managed to get in my bedroom on the 2nd floor!

Fell asleep at a rave in a field somewhere just outside London only to be woken up by someone lobbing flashing juggling balls at my face, 5 in all if I remember correctly actually that whole night was kind of weird.

Kolodny · 10-10-2002 9:42pm

I was once woken up by being hit in the face by a whole pineapple that was hurled through my open bedroom window. I kid you not. I put it into a fruit salad later that day and it was delicious, if slightly bruised. To this day I have no idea why someebody flung a pineapple through my window, but I will be eternally grateful.

Tellox · 10-10-2002 9:50pm

Wierdest thing to ever wake me up..well, a bright light woke me up, which when I opened my eyes was at my curtains. a flickering red bright light. I didnt move for about 2mins, but then I realised it was partially yellow, and the power was out. So I quickly looked out the window, and there it was, the power generator next to my estate was covered in flames. I was too piss scared to move for a minute, before I flew down the stairs, out the door, rang me ma (who was on the piss) and told her I was fecking off over to somebody elses for the night. I rang a taxi, got picked up as the fire men were doin their job.. and so forth.

Im greatly hoping never to wake up like that again

mike65 · 10-10-2002 10:02pm

Jesus after reading that lot, this'll seem lame...:)

Years ago, I awoke with a "start" on Saturday morning, with the sound of a jet fighter blasting my left ear, I jumped under the sheets opened my eyes and lay there,
trying to comprehend this deafening sound which unlike a jet engine was'nt pasing overhead but alongside me, away then back towards me....suddenly it stopped. I got up went downstairs and looked out the back door. I dunno what I was expecting to see, but proberly not a hosepipe.

My dad had been running a jet of water back and forth along the underside of the drainpipe which ran down the side of the house!

Mike.

BEAT · 10-10-2002 11:10pm

The first thing that came to mind when I read this was, a few years ago I had a kitten and she slept in my bed with me...
I awoke one morning soon after I had gotten her to find her sitting in my hand with her paws wrapped around my thumb while she was biting it...lol, it was cute but kittens have sharp little teeth

and that was the way I woke up for the next week, after that she slept in a blanket on the floor

Mossy Monk · 10-10-2002 11:29pm

one morning after a house party i was asleep on the couch and one of the lads woke me up. the night before when he passed out we covered his face with loads of things and i forgot about it. it frightened the living daylights out of me.

several times the cat has attacked my toes 1st thing. not very nice. she sleeps outside now

Bard · 11-10-2002 12:26am

Not weird exactly, but once when staying in a friends place I was woken up by the smoke and heat of the shelves nearby being on fire. Had the fire been allowed to continue burning, it would have been only a matter of a minute or two before the whole wall behind it would have been engulfed - a wall behind which two young children were sleeping soundly.

I woke my friend and we battled with the fire. It took a few minutes to put out and I ended up destroying my favourite shirt doing it. ... not that the shirt mattered in the grand scheme of things of course...!

I'm just glad that I woke up when I did, then... The kids were ok and no serious damage was done - apart from to the shelves themselves, some wallpaper, some books, candlesticks and other ornaments -- ... oh, and my shirt :rolleyes:

I've also woken up with a cat on my face. It was my cat though... (not that that makes it ok

) ... and I'm sure it wasn't actually trying to smother me, but was just cuddling up for a bit of heat/comfort as I was living in a cold and uncomfortable flat at the time.

Kairo · 11-10-2002 12:35am

Was staying over at my cousins house as a friend and was kippin on the floor in a sleeping bag. Woke up at some ungodly hour with a tickling sensation on my face..turned on the light to see what it was. The bag, my face and hands were covered in earwigs! There had been a nest nearby behind some press nearby. Never slept on the floor there again

Still wonder if one of the bastards actually crawled into my brain or something...would explain alot really!

pertinax · 11-10-2002 12:58am

I woke up to a strange sound once. It Started when a truck crashed nicely into our front wall, and demolished it. But that didn't wake me up. The driver did that with the door bell. The front gate had to be taken down and a week later i heard the strange noise.
A metalic clanging sound. I didnt think it was anything at the time because theres a metal gate beside us and cats walk along it and jump down off it makeing a deafening clatter.
The day after i found out the hubcaps off the car were stolen. So that was what woke me up.

I'm sure he decked himself out in black kit and thought he was on a SAS hubcap hostage rescue mission.
Twat, hubcaps the twat!

Karl Hungus · 11-10-2002 4:01am

This didn't happen to me, but at a house party one time, when this guy I didn't know passed out I came up with the brilliant idea of crucifying him with duct tape which I got off his room-mate. He woke up an hour later taped to the wall with arms out-stretched, cursed at us, then fell back to sleep.

I was gone before morning.

Dr. Loon · 11-10-2002 8:18am

I once woke up to the sound of a landrover charging towards me!! We were camping, and kept getting kicked off the nice spots, so had to set up on (what looked like) a misused path!! Later on that night the sound of a very close vehicle woke us up. The path was runninng alongside a river... luckily it turned out the landrover was on the path at the other side!

A good friend told me that someone he knew once woke up underneath a railway bridge with a jazz band playing. He'd been on the píss at some do, and liked the band, so invited them out for a session. Needless to say there was much drugs involved!!

Beruthiel · 11-10-2002 9:55am

I was woken up at 2.00am by my b/f who I heard saying 'what are you doing?'
I flew up in the bed and saw some junkie hanging in the bedroom window!
meanwhile, he is answering the question with 'got a light bud'
I roared at him to get the 'flock out of the window or I'd burst him' - which he promptly did

I still slag my b/f for being so polite to a junkie trying to break into the gaf!

Borzoi · 11-10-2002 10:23am

I've had the cat dance on my face to wake me up and feed it that it's not funny, but the weirdest.....

I was lying asleep in my own bed when I felt the duvet slipping away, I pulled it back, it pulled away again, so at this stage I'm half awake and I hear somebody saying ' I'm cold, I'm cold' well the duvet stops moving, then I hear clattering in my wardrobe, still with the voice going ' I'm cold, I'm cold' . Not knowing WTF, I slip out of bed and turn on the light to find my friend who was sleeping on the couch trying to climb into the wardrobe - but he's still sleeping

Yes the classic sleepwalker, didn't know what to do with him, you know you hear you shouldn't walk him, but it was 5am, so I yelled at the F@@ker

Mercury_Tilt · 11-10-2002 10:39am

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daveg · 11-10-2002 10:40am

I'm putting this one in for my GF. I had a dream one night she was trying to kill me. Both she and I woke with me on top of her with my hands around her neck about to strangle her !!!! scared me more than her.

Also when I was about 8 years old I stayed over at a freinds house. I woke at about 3am to find myself pissing in the corner of the hallway. Wooden floors so no soakage. I blamed him the following morning.

I''m not painting a very good picture of myself am I

lynchie · 11-10-2002 10:55am

Staying in some small town on the shannon in Limerick a few years back. About 10 of us got absolutely pissed and as a result they kicked us out of the camping site. We carried our 3 man tent down the road, and finally found some field to put it in. About 6 of us slept in the tent. At about 7am we were all awoken with the top of a shotgun pointing in the door of the tent with a pissed of farmer giving out that we were disturbing his cows. - Dont think he liked the empty cans of beer scattered around the tent!

thegills · 11-10-2002 11:24am

Fell asleep in a U-Bahn station in Munich - I felt this cold metal thing rubbing my face - I woke up and saw a Female copper sticking a Magnum in my face.

In a different U-Bahn station I woke up to see a homeless geezer tommy-tanking over my mate who was still asleep.

I also woke up one morning to the noise of bells and whistles - the previous night I had to much to drink and had fallen asleep in a bumper car.

I woke up one night coz my g/f was pulling the life out of my todger - she had fallen asleep with her hand on said todger and was dreaming about falling down a cliff. She grabbed a branch to break her fall.....

Tazz T · 11-10-2002 11:53am

I have many strange waking up experiences.

Once woke up in a telephone box in Belfast covered in makeup - don't ask me?

another time woke up while being dragged out of the house to the street having been asleep until 4pm because someone/thing had turned all the gas on in the house and we were gassed.

then there was the time I woke with my nob painted with green emulsion,- nice friends.

Shinji · 11-10-2002 11:57am

The strangest things I've ever been woken up by... a toss-up between Sutty's snoring, and Kaids' bathrobe.

Victor · 11-10-2002 2:33pm

A mouse scratching in the corner - which subsequently died very quickly.

Having nightmares and waking up dead / attacking the duvet / attacking the curtains.

Having been asleep for 2 hours on the tube in London.

Rain falling on my face at one in the morning in the middle of a field in France.

For someone else it was one of the lads GFs who fell asleep on the sofa and fell down the back of the cushions (two layers) - I was in the room for half an hour before I realised she was there.

leeroybrown · 11-10-2002 2:41pm

stark bollock naked Austrailian girl

Interesting wording. Hopefully I'll never wake up to a Bollock naked girl. I'd far prefer it without that particular word.

seamus · 11-10-2002 2:44pm

Ah drunken wakings.......

A friend of mine got locked and fell asleep on the sofa, so we made a duvet of beer cans for him (it was a big party) - he was literally covered in cans. Then someone threw a can at his head which woke him up, and he freaked out for about two minutes cos of the sounds of all the can clattering, and general confusion.

Another time I wasn't there for, same individual got a condom place halfway up his *ahem* back passage, by other individuals, using a pencil. Next morning, he said nothing, but spent the rest of the day scratching his arse

Best sound to be wken up to is the sound of crows sliding down the side of a tent. Back in Scouts, good old standard triangle shaped tent, crows would stand on top of it in the morning, lose their footing, and slide down the side. So funny. zzzzziiiiiiiiippp.....thud!

Mercury_Tilt · 11-10-2002 4:34pm

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Pigman · 13-10-2002 12:20pm

I once LITERALLY had someone throw a bucket of water over me to wake me up. I thought that only happened on TV?

Another time I was woken up by a cat sitting on my face! Dirty ****er. The room might not have been big enough to swing a cat but I can verify that there was certainly plenty of throwing distance that day!

Turner · 13-10-2002 2:07pm

I was awoken to a wasp stinging me me in the neck last year. I had never been stung before so it freaked me out.

Also at the moment we have builders in our house trying to build an extension. They are always giving out at how much i sleep. During the week they decided to place a plank of wood on the metal part of their kango hammer and give the wall next to my bed a good pummelling. I didnt know what the f3ck was goin on when i woke up. Thought it was an earthquake.

therecklessone · 13-10-2002 4:32pm

Mid nightmare in which the world is about to end in nuclear fireball, a very loud truck passes my house. Woke me and frightened the s***e out of me. Convinced the missiles were on the way.

The Corinthian · 14-10-2002 6:29pm

I've been awoken in a numerous wierd ways, both good and bad, over the years:

Good Way: Woken by a g/f as she was climbing on top of me in bed to, err... cuddle.

Bad Way: Woken by mortar shelling.

Legion · 14-10-2002 9:38pm

Good Way: The Wife...hehehe

Bad Way: The Wife,after she had a dream that I was having an affair, got a slap across the head for something I did not do.

I also had a dream once that my youngest was climbing out the window (7 floors up) and as I grabbed her back I was left holding a nappy, that was very scary indeed I actually had to go in and check she was still in bed, wasn’t the nicest feeling to wake up to.

therecklessone · 14-10-2002 10:21pm

I forgot the time I dreamt a friend of mine died in a car crash on the way to her wedding. Woke up in a state. I was in Berlin at the time, i had to text her to make sure she was still alive

Dun · 15-10-2002 2:08am

Earthquake - in Donegal, a few years ago. Seriously.

johnnynolegs · 15-10-2002 5:17pm

i was woken once by my room mate having sex with his girlfriend they ddin't know i was in bed they were so drunk

seamus · 16-10-2002 10:54am

Freaked out dream last night that my best mate was on trial for something he didn't do. We were sure he'd get off with our character witness assessments, but for some reason, the trial was split into two parts and he had to spend a month in jail between the two parts. Twas quite upsetting.......

GoneShootin · 16-10-2002 11:43am

i was woken once by my room mate having sex with his girlfriend they ddin't know i was in bed they were so drunk

was she good looking ?

hur hur hur

DadaKopf · 16-10-2002 11:48am

I live in Dublin 6 and I was woken up by a gun battle once. Then it turned out they were filming the Easter Rising scene for 'Rebel Heart'. It was all the more surreal seeing troops of British infantrymen marching down my street!

johnnynolegs · 16-10-2002 12:31pm

indeed she was good looking and she had a big set of bajongas aswell.............

Victor · 16-10-2002 4:12pm

Originally posted by johnnynolegs
i was woken once by my room mate having sex with his girlfriend they ddin't know i was in bed they were so drunk

Oh yeah forgot about that time in the youth hostel - they did it at least 3 times .....

Wierdest thing ever to wake you up

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