Leaving cert blues

Caesar_Bojangle

My parents are putting so much pressure on me to do well, they insist that i cant repeat it regardless, they are not even telling me to do my best, they just tell me i better do well or they'll force me to work on a building site. The annoying thing is they give me the exact same lecture everyday that i am tempted to just enlist in the army or bugger off somewhere.

They keep insisting that i study a minimum four hours a day and give out to me if i don’t do the supervised study, which some days i cant be arsed because if i do it i wont actually get home till after 9pm which means i'll have spent near 12 hours in school, which anyone person of subnormal intelligence can see would obviously get on your nerves sooner or later doing this 4 times a week.

I wouldn't mind the pressure so much if they actually listened to me rather than threaten me, even my friends parents tell them to attempt the leaving cert with all the jibe they have, and if they don’t get it this time there are plenty of other options available to them whereas with my parents i am just told do it or else.

The icing on the cake has to be this.... I skipped a few 9 o clock classes which were Religion and some free classes when the teacher was out, no one was any the wiser (i liked my late lie ins as these classes were pretty pointless) until my bitch of a mother rings up the principal informing him of what i was doing, now i’m forced to check in every morning at 9 and on top of that they give my mother a report on all my progress weekly and i got a cut throat lecture from my dad also restricting what i can do, ffs it was only religion and a handful of free classes which i probably would have slept in anyway.

Thing is i am not a stupid bloke, my reality perception is quite good and my parents expect me to get 600 points (which i know i could never achieve) and become a lawyer/doctor, were i myself would be happy to settle on anything as long as i liked it because at the moment i have no clue whatsoever of what i want to do with my life.


And ppl wonder why some students commit suicide, tis not the exams i tells tis the bloody parents concealing the fact that they want to live through their kids.

lordsippa

Ok... listen closely... this'll cause a LOT of conflict but it'll end soon enough... IGNORE YOUR PARENTS AND DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU. TELL THEM TO FECK OFF. AND IF IT GETS WORSE TALK TO YOUR SCHOOL COUNCILLOR. He'll probably explain to them about "Stress" and how it can make you **** up.

That'll put em in their place.

Completely switch off from the parental pressure, firstly I would say,pretend it's not happening.
Decide in your mind what you want from the leaving cert and aim for that.
Do you want to go to College and if so how much work in the study department is it going to take for you to get there.
You have to convince yourself to do that work and go hell for leather for that goal.
You can do that when you realise you are doing it for yourself and not your parents.
Completely ignore any goal set for you by your parents, treat it as irrelavent, reason being the pressure they are putting you under, to achieve it is having the opposite effect.

Regarding skipping classes and having to "report" for duty now at nine instead of having a lie in, well treat that as a nuisance.
Don't let it get to you either and concentrate on your goal.
mm
p.s , if you are going to take the above advice, simple , but hard as it seems, please print out this page, showing the date the advice was given.
You will need this as evidence when you do go to college and your parents are saying it's all down to them:D

Caesar_Bojangle

Some sound advice guys.

My parent appear to be more worried than i actually am, another factor that may contribute to this could be my two nerdy older siblings who achieved 550 and 570 respectively and then there’s me the black sheep, ba. Also i have 2 cousins doing it at the same time as me, which makes my parents need to showcase me as the better offspring even greater, also my autocratic grandmother trying to lay down the smackdown of rules of what i should and shouldn’t be allowed do, doesn’t really help.

Originally posted by Caesar_Bojangle
My parent appear to be more worried than i actually am, another factor that may contribute to this could be my two nerdy older siblings who achieved 550 and 570 respectively and then there’s me the black sheep, ba. Also i have 2 cousins doing it at the same time as me, which makes my parents need to showcase me as the better offspring even greater, also my autocratic grandmother trying to lay down the smackdown of rules of what i should and shouldn’t be allowed do, doesn’t really help.

Ignore, ignore, ignore:D
Do study as best you can though!
And don't forget the print off now, as evidence when you suceed:D
mm
p.s I had all of the above to contend with:eek: and even when I went to college , an Aunty related by marriage to an obscure college professor was so nosey, she was getting inside info, behind my back! pathetic:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

stop being afraid of failing

do some work

don't think about repeating the leaving cert

set your own goals don't have your parents set them for you

don't set your standards too low

choose what you really want to do and not what someone else wants you to do

if your parents don't like it tell them to **** off

how exactly can they force you to work on a building site you can do whatever you want with your life

LegacyUser

I am in 4th year.I have probably done a combined total of 24 hours homework since the start of second year.I got 6 Bs 1A and a C,Dand E in the JC.4 hours study a night is unfair-tell them were to go or just pretend your doing it while your really watching tv/online/listening to radio/climbed out bedroom window and went off smoking hash with the lads etc etc.
Confront your parents with the fact that they never did 4 hours a night-I guarantee they never did.
College isnt the only place you can go after school to get a well paying job.Im not sure I want to go-all my friends are around here,Id miss where i live etc.

Anyway,these days the pupils are usually more intelligent than some of the teachers if my school is anything to go by.Some of my teachers have reading difficulty.

Originally posted by **** Murphy
Some of my teachers have reading difficulty.

Thats funny!:D
But this isn't:

College isnt the only place you can go after school to get a well paying job.Im not sure I want to go-all my friends are around here,Id miss where i live etc.

Sure , you can get a good job, without going to college, but you stand a better chance of getting a much better one if you do go.
It would be a pity not to make the effort

Plus you can do all the things like:

watching tv/online/listening to radio/climbed out bedroom window and went off smoking hash with the lads etc etc.

when you are in college, and after you leave aswell, anyway.

mm

oneweb

My mam moaned and moaned and moaned. I know what it's like (albeit what, 4 years ago - ouch, I feel sooo old)

It got to the stage where I was using one of the teacher's computers (she snuck me in - she was sound!) after school in place of goin to study class. Teachers thought I was studying at home. Mam thought I was studying in school. Until something clicked around March/April. And a "chat" was arranged with the Principal in his office. You're a good student (I was one of the better ones), we're worried, and so is your mother. Why aren't you studyin. Blah blah blah.

Anyway, if YOU think YOU are doing enough work for the LC - THAT is what matters. Constant nagging from teachers and parents is normal at this stage. It's very hard, but understand that they want you to do well. Tell them straight up to feck off putting pressure on you, it's already hard enough, and it's only October, FFS!

Probably the best thing to do would be go to a library or a mate's house - the whole day in school every day will probably wreck your head altogether and you could go into an 'I don't wanna, I don't wanna!' mode.

405 points, and, I quote -
Mam:"You could have done so much better"
Physics,(I was the only one - of two in that year - to pass the thing. I got a D in higher level - I was thrilled!) Teacher:"I was disappointed you didn't do better"

Some people are never happy. But I was completely happy with myself

And two points to ponder:
1) Don't say you'll start studying tomorrow, cos you'll say the same thing tomorrow.
2) Do it for YOU. Other people will always want more from you than you can handle. You know what you're capable of more than anyone else on this planet.

The very best of luck

oneweb

Originally posted by Caesar_Bojangle
Some sound advice guys.

My parent appear to be more worried than i actually am, another factor that may contribute to this could be my two nerdy older siblings who achieved 550 and 570 respectively and then there�s me the black sheep, ba.
<snip>
also my autocratic grandmother trying to lay down the smackdown of rules of what i should and shouldn't be allowed do, doesn't really help.

For fcuk sake, you are NOT them! Tell your parents that. Tell them that you are an individual, and it's not fair to be compared. A good idea might be to tell them what you intend on doing with your life.

My poor sister had her Leaving Cert results compared to mine within 5 mins of having them home. I was SOO pissed off with that, and so was she. Actually, nothing poor about it. She blew me out of the water! But still.

That 4 hours study a night is totally unrealistic. Why not go for 8 and shelve your social life altogether :rolleyes:

<edit> i had posted the previous post at 20:50, so some of it may have already been said by the time i submitted it.

Seraphina

you poor people, i'm so glad i've only got 310 to live up to, god bless lazy ass older brothers

Tails

My parents think im doin NOTHING but in fact i do 3 hours a day study!! i just ignore them and make sure it doesnt get to me. If it is really beginning to bug the s*** out of you talk to the counciler(?) and say your suffering from stress, your parents will shut up if (and he probably will) contact them

BuffyBot

Originally posted by Caesar_Bojangle
My parents are putting so much pressure on me to do well, they insist that i cant repeat it regardless, they are not even telling me to do my best, they just tell me i better do well or they'll force me to work on a building site. The annoying thing is they give me the exact same lecture everyday that i am tempted to just enlist in the army or bugger off somewhere.

Nod, smile whatever it takes.

They keep insisting that i study a minimum four hours a day and give out to me if i don’t do the supervised study, which some days i cant be arsed because if i do it i wont actually get home till after 9pm which means i'll have spent near 12 hours in school, which anyone person of subnormal intelligence can see would obviously get on your nerves sooner or later doing this 4 times a week.

Tell them it's simply too much, and you can't handle it. Explain that too much is as likely to effect your performance negatively as too little. Work out some kind of study timetable for home (showing that you're willing to work out some alternatives rather than bitch and whine about it. If you just moan, you'll get their backs up)

I wouldn't mind the pressure so much if they actually listened to me rather than threaten me, even my friends parents tell them to attempt the leaving cert with all the jibe they have, and if they don’t get it this time there are plenty of other options available to them whereas with my parents i am just told do it or else.

At the end of the day, whatever they say or threathen cant influence the end result..again nod, smile etc etc

The icing on the cake has to be this.... I skipped a few 9 o clock classes which were Religion and some free classes when the teacher was out, no one was any the wiser (i liked my late lie ins as these classes were pretty pointless) until my bitch of a mother rings up the principal informing him of what i was doing, now i’m forced to check in every morning at 9 and on top of that they give my mother a report on all my progress weekly and i got a cut throat lecture from my dad also restricting what i can do, ffs it was only religion and a handful of free classes which i probably would have slept in anyway.

Here I'll play devil's advocate. You got caught. You showed them you weren't very responsible and therefore they are treating you like a child. You've got to act adult to be treated like one - we all have to do things we don't like and deal with it. You have to admit your mistake to them and eat humble pie on this one.

Thing is i am not a stupid bloke, my reality perception is quite good and my parents expect me to get 600 points (which i know i could never achieve) and become a lawyer/doctor, were i myself would be happy to settle on anything as long as i liked it because at the moment i have no clue whatsoever of what i want to do with my life.

You can only do your best. If you don't get 600 points, there is nothing they can do to change that after the fact. FFS I'm 25 and I still don't know what I want to do with my life.

And ppl wonder why some students commit suicide, tis not the exams i tells tis the bloody parents concealing the fact that they want to live through their kids.

You know, I can kind of see thier point. They probably think this pressure is for your own good. They probably think they are doing the right thing - they probably don't know any better. It's up to you to change that - but by showing yourself to be responsible, level headed and generally having some cop on, you might just get them to mellow out...a bit

ferdi

Caesar_Bojangle, i'm doing the LC too, my parents arnt as bad as yours, but they still p!ss me off pretty bad.

what you said about your parents trying to live their lives thru you, i totally understand,

its the same for me. my mother "dosnt want me to get 600 point" just enough so i can get a job so i can "provide for my wife and children" -I'M 17 FOR FUKS SAKE!!!!!!

i just want to chill and have a laugh and make some music. i'm just going to do arts in ucd for a year to keep them happy, then i will probably drop out then do what i actually want to do with my life. theres about a 5th of the year gone already, i know what you mean about "no wonder students commite suicide"

SCREW THEM, you dont have to answer to anyone but you. what are they going to do? give you a lecture, try put a massive guilt trip on you cause "they've done everything they can so you could have everything they didnt!", threaten to kick you out of the house?, throw you over their knee and spank you?

i dont have the 2 genious siblings to live up to so i feel for you there. just do your best, then once its over, get the hell outta there like me!

everything will work out

good luck

ferdi

damnyanks

Join one of the school teams and goto training. This will wear you out and leave less time for study (its what i did)


May as well set aim's once its over tis all grand and dandy, i started first year at college this year and no way in hell would i ever ever ever ever repeat. Going through all that ****e for no fecking reason is not worth it

PiE

Bleh, I hate pushy parents. Thankfully I don't have any

No offense, but they sound like stupidly stubborn and ignorant people. They're not going to listen to a "child" like you. I'd say your best hope is to go to the Guidance Counselor or a decent teacher and ask him/her to have a word with them.

helpmepls

Id go mad and start shouting at them (parents)
Me, I think 4 hours of supervised study is excessive

You can still do just as good as you siblings without 4 hours study.

Tell them to lay off or say you will drop out if they dont stop that will shake them up if they want to show off your results.

Or talk to them and say you cant take this pressure they are putting you under and if they say somthing parent like such as "ah will you go away" "your all right" "what pressure" etc thens the time to get very angry

smiles

Jeez, I think I must have been majorily lucky, my parents always said just do your best, and, well truth be told, I could have done so much better if i had actually studied, luckily i got 480 (and my first choice) and yet i had teacher after teacher in school pull me over and tell me that they were disappointed, like my ****ing principal called me over and said that he was expecting at least 550 and that it must have been a great disappointment to me and my family! My parents on the other hand were delighted and put me under no pressure whatsoever!

I mean, in all honesty, it's my life and my point and i'm doing what i want to do, at the end of the day 600 points wont make you happy, nor will being forced into a course you dont want to do.

Talk to your school conscillor and tell him/her the situation, they might be able to suggest a comprisise with your parents.

<< Fio >>

krankykitty

its the same for me. my mother "dosnt want me to get 600 point" just enough so i can get a job so i can "provide for my wife and children" -I'M 17 FOR FUKS SAKE!!!!!!

Get yourself a rich wife and it wont matter a damn what you got in your leaving

seriously, dont let your parents put you under such pressure, im sure its been proven that stressful situations are not going to help you learn, anyway its only october tell them to chill out