A ****** walks into a bar.....

Blade · 13-10-2002 3:58am #1

A horse walks into a bar and the barman says to him ' hey whats with the long face?'

A Piece of string walks into a bar and the barman says to him ' sorry we don't serve string here ' so he walks out, goes home and ties a knot in himself and frays his hair out. He goes back to the same bar and the barman says to him ' hey I've seen you before your a piece of string aren't you? ' and the string goes ' I'm a frayed knot '

A squirrel walks into a bar, jumps up on a stool and orders a pint or Guinness. The barman thinks to himself ' f*ckin hell a talking squirrel ' So this goes on all night and after 5 pints the squirrel says goodnight and boots out the door. 5 minutes later the squirrel comes back in, jumps back onto the stool and asks the barman ' I didn't leave a set of keys behind me did I? ' and the barman says to him ' f*ckin hell you drive too??? ' and the squirrel says ' no I'm locked out of me tree '.

A fella walks into a bar lookin real pi$$ed off and the barman asks him whats wrong, he says ' ahhh me wife reversed the car out of the garage tonight ' and the barman asks ' well whats wrong with that?' and yer man goes ' well I reversed the car into the garage last night!'.

Please add more.....

Baldy · 13-10-2002 2:19pm

They were so **** but funny at the same time.

Molly · 13-10-2002 7:52pm

A guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. Barman says "What are ya having?" The man replies " A pint for me, and a shot for tiny the lizard." The barman, feeling curious asks "Whys he called Tiny?" Guy replies "Cos hes my newt"

phreak · 13-10-2002 7:54pm

a man walks into a bar and says "OUCH"

oeNeo · 13-10-2002 8:54pm

A guy walks into a bar with a length of tar under his arm. He says to the barman, "I'll have a beer and one for the road".....

:cool:

Dave · 13-10-2002 9:20pm

2 hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says "I think i've lost an electron"
"Are you sure" the other replies,
"Yeah" he says "I'm positive"

gets me everytime.

DamienH · 13-10-2002 11:20pm

hahahh that electron 1 is good

DeVore · 13-10-2002 11:52pm

Woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a Double Entendre... so he gives her one.

*Badoom* *tish!*

Thank you thank you I'm here till thursday!

DeV.

red_ice · 14-10-2002 12:06am

/me hands devore his coat

reD.

phreak · 31-10-2002 12:14am

Originally posted by DeVore

Thank you thank you I'm here till thursday!

DeV.

its thursday in about 40 mins.

bye bye!

Dr. Dre · 31-10-2002 12:44am

...a sandwich walks into a bar,
the Barman says "sorry, we don't serve food in here"

I'm truly sorry

DeVore · 31-10-2002 1:03am

A Rabbit walks into a bar and orders a cheese toasty so the bar man looks at him and says ok and makes him the toasty. Next day the rabbit walks into the bar again and orders a ham toasty.
The next day again the rabbit comes into the bar and orders a chicken toasty. On the fourth day the rabbit walks in looking absolutely awful, really terribly ill, so the bar man says
"Jesus, whats up with you?"
and the rabbit groans and says:

Mixin'-me-toasties

GEDDIT!!

Thank you thank you... try the veal!

DeV.

Spunj · 31-10-2002 1:22am

A duck walks into a bar and asks "got any crackers? " Bartender says no. Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, "got any crackers?" bar tender says no. Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers? Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out. Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bartender says no. Duck says "good. Got any crackers?"

DeadBankClerk · 31-10-2002 1:28am

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A baby seal walks into a club.

adnans · 31-10-2002 1:44am

an englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walk into a bar, and the bartender goes "is this a joke or what?"

adnans

A ****** walks into a bar.....

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