worrying prob

LegacyUser · 31-10-2002 1:57pm #1

Hi.
I am worried because I am really duff in bed. I have hooked up with a few women in the last while, brought them back to my house and not been able to do the bisiness. I am getting kind of paranoid that i might be gay. I have never found men attractive and any time I dream about having sex it is only women. I know it is not physical and i think i might just get to stressed! any suggestions?

Kell · 31-10-2002 4:52pm

Can you elaborate on duff? Cant get the todger to stand to attention or not sure what you should be concentrating on?

LegacyUser · 31-10-2002 4:54pm

the flag stays at half mast

thedrowner · 31-10-2002 5:15pm

if you're nervous that could be the problem. also, some types of medication can affect libido.

Kell · 31-10-2002 6:16pm

In relation to medication- are you on any at the moment? Also, do you mind me asking your age? Nervousness is important too, but, nervousness, anxiety etc can actually have the opposite result also. Nervousness obviously makes the heart beat faster, pumps blood quicker etc etc and should have a positive impact.

On the gay thing- this is going to sound really personal- does porn (female) turn you on at all and do you ever jerk off with a mag (Dont worry about being candid. Any bloke that says he hasnt creamed over a playboy or a hustler is lying)

On the other hand; your schlong could be longer than 10" in which case you might need scaffolding.

Gaz · 31-10-2002 6:21pm

Maybe the girls where real ugly ??

WhiteWashMan · 31-10-2002 6:24pm

get her to ...
<insert Mills and Boon soft porn text here edit>
...
</insert Mills and Boon soft porn text here edit>
...
sorry, got carried away there.

LegacyUser · 31-10-2002 6:28pm

I am 24. I am not on medication but i do smoke (ciggies aswell) quite a lot and drink a fair bit. I do get off on porn. i have been drinking the times this has a happened (the last three times in a row) but by the time we get down to the deed i have sobered up.
should stress help? i do get nervous because it has happened to me before and then i get really worried that is is happening again.

chernobyl · 31-10-2002 6:53pm

I was out last night and my only objective was to 1) get drunk and 2) see if i could get an erection whilst smashed.

I got drunk but "2" was a failure.

At least your pulling, its been 6 long months for me...i think i grew extremely ugly in the last while..

Cake Fiend · 31-10-2002 7:49pm

Cut down on the smokes. Cut down on the bishop-beating. Cut down on the booze and any drugs (including hash). Also, try extra-sensitive condoms (I find it very hard to keep it up if I'm not getting any stimulation). Durex Avanti's your only man.

Kell · 01-11-2002 9:59am

What I think you need to do is find out exactly what it is that turns you on, something that makes you want to go and shag a whole nation, and try and get your partner to indulge you. One night stands are a bad exercise for your self respect. You're much better off getting into a relationship- at least that way if you can explain the problems to your partner and she can help.

There's always Viagra, but then it's always been my thinking to stay away from the crutches. Quitting smoking helps. I used to smoke about 20 a day and then quit and my drive has increased ten fold.

WhiteWashMan · 01-11-2002 12:19pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
get her to ...
<insert Mills and Boon soft porn text here edit>
...
</insert Mills and Boon soft porn text here edit>
...
sorry, got carried away there.

hey, apart from the carried away bit, it was a bit of good advice that i used to follow if i happen to be drunk and score some cheesy chick back in the days i was in colelge.
lets face it after 20 pints of beer you need a while for the privatres to stand to attention.
that was a lways a winner for me!

anyone that wants to know what it was, just post here and i shall put it back by popular demand

gordon, you owe me another pint.

Dr. Loon · 01-11-2002 12:23pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan

anyone that wants to know what it was, just post here and i shall put it back by popular demand

gordon, you owe me another pint.

I'd like to know please! Was there jackrussells?

thedrowner · 01-11-2002 2:10pm

tell me tell me! not that ill be able to use it myself, but knowing my luck, ill have to make some bloke do it.

oh and padraig...drink can do thatto you, even if ur sobered up it stays in yer systerm for ages and maybe ur more sensitive to it then other blokes.

Mercury_Tilt · 01-11-2002 2:15pm

This post has been deleted.

WhiteWashMan · 01-11-2002 2:25pm

well i was mearly saying that after a few pints or even just a case of the nerves or stress or whatever, there may be a problem with getting and sustaining an erection.

your best bet is to stradle your lady (or ladyboy) love while she is on her stomach. you can then give her a good rub down, and while she may be hideously ugly, you wont have to look at her face as you think about havng a wild orgy with the cast of baywatch, or thinking about an intimate lesbian 3some, or playing catch with wynona rider (or generally insert whatever blows your skirt up) and as you rub her you can get a good old stiffy in your own time, and even give yerself a good old tug if you like without her knowing.

i think gordon got offended when i said you could then roll her over and slide yer hard throbbing manhood between her cleavage and the.....

well, i am begining to get excited again so i will stop and go to the loo

/nick wwman_loo

thedrowner · 01-11-2002 2:26pm

yeah poor me why do i always end up with devout catholics.....(ok not really)

Dr. Loon · 01-11-2002 2:29pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
well i was mearly saying that after a few pints or even just a case of the nerves or stress or whatever, there may be a problem with getting and sustaining an erection.

your best bet is to stradle your lady (or ladyboy) love while she is on her stomach. you can then give her a good rub down, and while she may be hideously ugly, you wont have to look at her face as you think about havng a wild orgy with the cast of baywatch, or thinking about an intimate lesbian 3some, or playing catch with wynona rider (or generally insert whatever blows your skirt up) and as you rub her you can get a good old stiffy in your own time, and even give yerself a good old tug if you like without her knowing.

i think gordon got offended when i said you could then roll her over and slide yer hard throbbing manhood between her cleavage and the.....

well, i am begining to get excited again so i will stop and go to the loo

/nick wwman_loo

That's not half as filthy as I was hopin for!

thedrowner · 01-11-2002 2:29pm

on behlaf of the female gender id like to say.......wynona ryder??????? bloody hell if someone was gonna pretend i was someone famous to black me out i wish it would be anjelina jolie, or kirsten dunst or something!!!!

Mercury_Tilt · 01-11-2002 2:57pm

This post has been deleted.

Gordon · 01-11-2002 3:10pm

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
gordon, you owe me another pint.

lol, I think elsewise, mines a Guinness ta.

Oh, and I cut that out because it was too horny for this board, much much too horny. You have to pay for that much horniness. You have to be a unicorn with a big long horny head to see that much hornifulness.

thedrowner · 01-11-2002 3:10pm

good Lord that's just about killed off any maternal instinct i might have ever had...'creating a bond with u and yer baby'.

Jak · 01-11-2002 3:12pm

even give yerself a good old tug if you like without her knowing

Haha WWM.

That's sure to make her feel very special alright. Lying on her stomach getting a one handed massage with her lover shouting

"Face down! Don't you look at me!! .. "

WhiteWashMan · 01-11-2002 3:23pm

Originally posted by Jak
Haha WWM.

That's sure to make her feel very special alright. Lying on her stomach getting a one handed massage with her lover shouting

"Face down! Don't you look at me!! .. "

well, actually this is something i use to do years ago after the person i was with fell asleep or was lying unconsious with alcohol poisoning.

i wasnt suggesting anyone do it!

god forbid!

anywya, it was just to give the young fella something to start with. who knows, he may turn out to be the next big porn star with my advice (which i dont advice taking by the way...)

Typedef · 01-11-2002 3:27pm

/nic Typedef_pumps

pickarooney · 01-11-2002 3:41pm

Originally posted by thedrowner
good Lord that's just about killed off any maternal instinct i might have ever had...'creating a bond with u and yer baby'.

Is that gel or glue?

Baby massage oil is quite worthless IMHO, no matter how good it smells, their little hands just can't get get hold of the muscles properly.

WhiteWashMan · 01-11-2002 4:42pm

mind you, having a wánk with a handful of massage oil is very nice

i have heard.

Typedef · 01-11-2002 4:44pm

How about wrapping a perl necklace around your hand?
I've 'heard' that'd be great.

WhiteWashMan · 01-11-2002 5:24pm

Originally posted by Typedef
How about wrapping a perl necklace around your hand?
I've 'heard' that'd be great.

i gave a girl a pearl necklace once.

or did she just spit.

i cant rememebr. i was drunk.

thedrowner · 01-11-2002 5:26pm

i have a horror story about somehting like that....which resulted in the best argument a couple have ever had, but it really is probably too painful to say in front of men

and it would probably get deleted

WhiteWashMan · 01-11-2002 5:30pm

go on, tell us.

and can you just open up your blouses a bit. cheers

worrying prob

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