sick friend

BEAT

Ok,
I have this friend who 2 years ago found out he had a debilitating disease. He hasn't told his family and has only told myself and 2 other people.
This disease isnt something contagious in anyway...it's only going to affect his life and the way he is going to be able to live his life.
In some cases it can take years for the signs to begin to show so he didnt tell anyone in his family so they wouldnt worry about him.
He started having complications, the signs were becoming apparant to those around him, they would ask her what was wrong and he would have to tell them he didnt know, which explained why he was going to the doctors when he did go...
He ended up telling family they couldnt find out what was wrong.
Anyway, because He knows the years he has left where he can live a normal life are numbered he has decided to live out his dreams and life's ambition's now while he can.
However, he has had to make several sacrafices in order to do it and those around him dont understand why he is doing what he is doing.
He asks me for advice since I am one of few that know and sometimes I dont know what to say, only offering supportive advice when I can.
What would you tell your friend if you were in a similar situation.
I have not revealed the details in respect for his wishes for people not to know.

It's just something on my mind, any helpful advice is appreciated...though I suppose it isnt really 'needed' so much,if you know what I mean? just discussing it with neutral people sometimes helps ya know.;)
Thanks in advance for your comments.

Silent Grape

i'd encourage him to tell more familly and friends. the responsibilty of supporting him might get too much for you. Also, life could get much better for him if the weight of this secret is lifted from him. His familly/friends are obviously concerned about him so they would probably be devastated if he died/had a crisis without letting them know. they'd probably feel really hurt/betrayed, even if they know he was only thinking of them.

mia x

Beruthiel

I'm sorry to hear that BEAT. I really don't think it will make a hugh difference at this stage, lets be honest, they are probably running all sorts of things through their minds now anyway as he has been to the doctor so many times, so he might as well tell them. He should come clean, tell them he's off to see the world and party while he can and all he asks for is for their support.

WhiteWashMan

to be honest id tell your friend to make up his own mind.
after all he has nothing to regret.
if he wants to live out his dreams, then i suggest he go and do it before its too late.
when is he thinking of telling hisfaily by the way?
as im sure they will be rather upset to waste such precious time.
sounds to me like your friend is rather selfish and immature to me.

but most liekly scared

hedgetrimmer

Sad as this situation is, I'd have to echo Silent Grape's advice. The strain could really end up being far too much on yourself and the few he has told as the time grows nearer.

There is also the issue that his family deserve to know, so they can resolve any issues and reconcile themselves to cope with him being gone, rather than have him taken away unprepared and then learn of the illness.

Much strength to you, BEAT

krankykitty

thats a really sad story.

I think your friend should tell the family, after all im sure they will support him when they find out the truth, and understand he needs to follow his dream..
It would be awful for him to fall out with his family for his last years, a time when he should have their love and support, and equally, for the family, if they find out this too late they will also have regrets and "what ifs?"

Though having said that, its not me in the situation.. and only your friend can know whats right for him. Perhaps he should talk to a doctor/counsellor type dude about it?

send on good luck to your friend and also hope you are all right about it too.

BEAT

I appreciate all of your comments.
I will let you know how things progress.