Advice required

Theboinkmaster

Hello

As stated above I require advice for my situation, which has probably happened to many of you before
so hopefully you can help me.

I've just started on wednesday a 2 week induction for work and there's a girl on it who I've a huge crush on.
I've only spoken to her once briefly & we got on well. There's a night out this week and another the following
week and I'm wondering what to do about it. Obviously there's the old saying about never dipping your
pen in the company ink. If she says she's got a boyfriend or not interested I'm left embarrassed & I've to work
with her, although not too closely.

So the advice I require is how to go about on the nights out on sussing out a) if she's got a boyfriend and b) if
she's interested in me. Obviously I'll got over & talk to her as I've an excuse (we're in the same department, there
are 4 in total making up the 30-50 people on the induction) but after half an hour of getting to know her & usual chit-chat how do I
broach (spelling?!) the subject without making a fool of myself.

If this wasn't work-related I wouldn't need any advice at all I'd just do my usual picking-up thing however
I'll be working with her for at least 2 years so I feel I've to be careful.

Any advice offered would be greatly appreciated, thanks for reading!

-Boinky

rymus

leave it well alone.. ive seen office relationships go very VERY bad (which they always do) and as u said theres nothing worse than having to work with a person that you have a bad history with.

The old saying "Dont shít on your own doorstep" applies here.


There are plenty of women around (apparently), best to find another one.

Lafortezza

Firstly what ^^^ Rymus said above,

but if you insist on your mission with this chick then you need to take it slow.
If she's on the same induction course as you then she's probably thinking more about the course and the job then about which of her workmates she wants to bump uglies with... so you could easily freak her out by coming on too strong..

Get to know as many people on the course as possible, don't hang around her all the time, when you do 'happen' to be chatting to her keep it friendly, chat about going out, the job, what she does in her spare time, the normal things you chat about with people your getting to know.

Along the way you'll surely find out if she has a boyfriend, especially if the 2 of you get talking about where you go on the weekends and who you go with...

but I wouldn't really risk it if i were you

Beruthiel

I totally agree with the above comments, if you want to stay in the job keep it friendly and that's it. You said it yourself, don't dip your pen in the company ink.

Gordon

Working with someone that you have broken up with is like breaking up with them every day.

But if she is "the one" that you would slay herds of sword wielding paladins and slaughter innocent peasants by burning their hay-houses single handedly just to get a kiss from her softed lips then... "ah sure why not". lafortezza gives some good advice there though in that respect. Just be very sure.

Oh and in relation to my first paragraph: Working with someone that you are "going out with" means that you have to see them every day.

Typedef

Originally posted by Gordon
Working with someone that you have broken up with is like breaking up with them every day.

But if she is "the one" that you would slay herds of sword wielding paladins and slaughter innocent peasants by burning their hay-houses single handedly just to get a kiss from her softed lips then... "ah sure why not".

I think we will have to confiscate Gordon's copy of 'First Knight'.

'Shaken, not stirred'

WhiteWashMan

do whatever you feel you want to do.

CCCP^

No, **** it man. Give it a Shot.

As for actual advice other than this? Jesus I dont have a clue..

Tails

Try it out, if she says no, then carry on, DONT let things go "wierd". just carry on as normal, i can never understand this thinking that it will be strange afterwards. Its only awkard if you make it like that yourself.

Jessica

no offence, but you can do what you want, as only you know how much you like this girl, but remember if it goes horribly wrong, you have to look at her every day. do you really want that ?

Typedef

Originally posted by Jessica
no offence, but you can do what you want, as only you know how much you like this girl, but remember if it goes horribly wrong, you have to look at her every day. do you really want that ?

Yeah umm.... Carpe Diem.

Hobbes

Originally posted by Typedef
Yeah umm.... Carpe Diem.

Fish of the day?

Lemming

I would be very f*cking careful about how you approach this one (and I'm emphasising the F word here).

The aforementioned phrase about not dipping your pen in the company ink stands, although I would point out that there's a couple in our office - and they get on great. They don't work together of course (or even in the same dept) mind you.

If you are absolutely dead-set on this girl, then give it some time. See how you get on in work before you try ANYTHING on with her. That way you'll also find out if she's seeing anyone and so on so forth.

But diving head-first in is a rather risky, and to put it mildly, absolute f*cking stupidity verging on gobsh*te mentality.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Lemming
But diving head-first in is a rather risky, and to put it mildly, absolute f*cking stupidity verging on gobsh*te mentality.

Lemming, telling it like it is - since 1998.......

Big Chief

youve only known her for a few days, in which time you have been attracted to her looking wise, which is ok i guess, but not when you have to work with that person day in day out.

Just speak to her in the normal office chit chat that you get and that will tell you a little more about her (how was weekend? anything planned tonight? who you off there with etc..) usually when i've asked things like this it usually leads to alot more information (i.e was at a funeral, or some nightclub you know of and you get to chatting for ages about it). Also see how well it actually "clicks" with her.

Dont go about bleeding your heart dry to her when all youve exchanged is a few words. Imagine how it will be working with her afterwards.... total nightmare, atleast i know i couldnt do it.

Big Chief

But diving head-first in is a rather risky, and to put it mildly, absolute f*cking stupidity verging on gobsh*te mentality.

hmm after reading lemming's post all of what i just said could be wrapped into his one sentance

hussey

for the boyfriend thing you could see if she has a claddah ring on, loads of girls I know have one, or just start talkin about x-mas, and ask do you have to get much pressis, usually ppl with b/g/friends say they would have to buy them stuff

Hobbes

"The office" is out on DVD. Get a loan of that and watch it. Loads of tips on inter-office dating.

Kali

Originally posted by Hobbes
"The office" is out on DVD. Get a loan of that and watch it. Loads of tips on inter-office dating.

And an equal amount of tips on how to avoid awkard situations afterwards.. is there anything that dvd can't teach us?

thedrowner

yes. they never teach us how to actually work dvd's. especially through a playstation. (well, im sure theres an instruction manual somwhere, but im just too lazy to go looking for it and id rather sit looking blankly at the controls for about 10 minutes before my brother comes in and laughs at me)

Theboinkmaster

Hey

Just to update yis, I told her how I felt over a week ago on a night out & now we are together so cheers to everyone for the advice and good luck to anyone in a similar position.

Boinky

pickarooney

Wahey! Now quickly start formulating a plan to get her fired as soon as possible after it all goes to pieces.

Gordon

Hey good stuff!