Breaking up

LegacyUser · 13-11-2002 3:18am #1

iv been in a relationship for 3years now and i think its time for it to end, i love the person with all my heart but im only 18!!!anyways my question is

how would i go about doin this gently and without her hating me and not lying? i really love her and i dont want to hurt her.

P.S = im also not telling her the truth

Beruthiel · 13-11-2002 9:35am

Originally posted by Unegistered
how would i go about doin this gently and without her hating me and not lying? i really love her and i dont want to hurt her.

there is no way of doing it without hurting her, tell her the above and the fact that you are only 18 and have all your life ahead of you. You are too young to tie yourself down like this yet.

P.S = im also not telling her the truth

what do you mean by this exactly?

Mercury_Tilt · 13-11-2002 9:43am

This post has been deleted.

Mercury_Tilt · 13-11-2002 9:44am

This post has been deleted.

daveg · 13-11-2002 9:53am

iv been in a relationship for 3years now and i think its time for it to end, i love the person with all my heart but im only 18!!!

Then be honest and tell her the truth. You owe her that much. Your gonna hurt her eitherway so you might as well be honest.

P.S = im also not telling her the truth

If you mean that there is another reason that you are breaking up (ie youve been seeing someone else for the last 3 years) then I would suggest a little tact to save her feelings.

Beruthiel · 13-11-2002 9:58am

She is going to have to start hating men sooner or later

lol - funny Mercie! and yet so true!

me *waves* back

Tazz T · 13-11-2002 10:43am

Stay with her. If you're too young, let it end naturally. Half the posts on this board are from ppl who have relationship probs and here you are in a seemingly perfect relationship trying to get out If you are so in love, you will be unhappy apart.

And what if you don't find that love again? Will you be back on the board in a year's time saying: 'I'm unhappy. I finished with the girl I loved and she met someone else. And I don't feel the same with anyone else.'

PS @merc - how can you have a 9year1night stand? I am intrigued.

thedrowner · 13-11-2002 3:17pm

yeah, if u love her with all your heart why are you breaking up with her? because u feel that at 18 its too young to be in a serious relationship? You shouldnt let society dictate how u feel about someone.

but if u are growing restless, and want to try other thigns, and these feelings are getting bigger than youre relationsip, then just tell her its over, and explain that u need to be single right now. (she may throw things, but hey-you cant win everything)

mise · 13-11-2002 7:18pm

i have to agree with the last couple of posts. dont see the point in breaking up just because u think ure too young. if you stop loving her then break up

Seraphina · 13-11-2002 7:28pm

i wanna know the dirt!! whats the REAAAAL reason you're breaking up with her?!!?

LegacyUser · 14-11-2002 12:04am

no yer gettin it wrong there,
the real reason is the honesty...
i dont want to tell her "oh i dont wanna go out wit u anymore im 2 young" i am telling she is madly madly in love with me.
not being vein or anything but we talk at least 7times a day on the phone , i like it and i think im gonna wait and c wat happens, and tazz ur right bout if she went off and found some1 else i would be heart broken,

weve went on a break twice for about 2days, we just missed eachother too much so we sorted it out:),
i love her,
im gonna stick with her,
thanks for all the advice

highlight · 14-11-2002 10:07am

well then for God's sake you wouldn't break up.

Typical man, grass always greener. Selfish git.

Mercury_Tilt · 14-11-2002 10:09am

This post has been deleted.

Mr.Applepie · 14-11-2002 9:13pm

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Typical woman!!

Feisty!!

Typical merc!!

Sarcy!!

Durden · 11-12-2002 5:11pm

man, i gotta warn you... if you put her totally at the centre of your world, things are gonna get f-ed up when you eventually do break up... unless you go off and get married (this does sometimes work. two teachers in my school have been together since they were teenagers apparently...)

Wolf · 11-12-2002 5:13pm

Breaking up for the reason that your only 18 is a pretty weak reason is there not more to it?

Typedef · 11-12-2002 5:19pm

P.S = im also not telling her the truth

Then you are a muppet obviously.

If you really do love the girl then you want to be with her.
Obviously as you want to break up, you don't in fact love her, so don't tell her so.

See professing you love her, while dumping her is (a) incongrouous (b) going to make her confused.

In conclusion, I have less then no sympathy for you, you can't honestly expect anyone to have any sympathy for you if you are stupid enough to dump a girl you love.

And since dumping her implys you don't love her, then telling her you love her is a hurtful lie.

When you leave school you find that meeting women is not as easy as it used to be when you were emmersed in a small pond with lots of fish, it's around about then you start to wonder why you were such a prick when there were loads of women around.

Basically dump her, now. As soon as the thought has entered your mind to call it off the relationship is already over, so don't insult her by telling you you love her as you break it off with her.

Have some dignity man and be honest.

Typedef · 11-12-2002 5:26pm

I just read your second post Unreg (if that really is your name) and Kudos to you mate.

You have realised it is better to have sex just a phone call away then to be 'free' and have to work for it.

Kudos.

Kell · 11-12-2002 5:49pm

Have to agree with Typie. If it's crossed your mind then there is no point in continuing. You've obviously had a think about this, and generally when you have a think about calling it a day with a relationship it's a slippery slope. I remember the school days- go out with someone, break up for no goddamn reason and be hitched with someone else in days. Does she know that you're thinking along these lines?

Samba · 11-12-2002 11:39pm

This is a tough one

but i don't agree with this for 1 second

If it's crossed your mind then there is no point in continuing

I was in the same position as yourself although not as long, the thought did cross my mind many times, why?

I suppose i thought i wanted a change so I did, she was crushed when i told her. A month later i had a new gf then i broke up with her after a very short time, it was then that I realised how stupid i was at the time and I really regretted it.

If you truly do love each other, you have somthing very special, hold on to that and don't treat it lightly.

my 2 cents.

jd · 11-12-2002 11:48pm

Originally posted by Typedef
P.S = im also not telling her the truth

As soon as the thought has entered your mind to call it off the relationship is already over,

Not always necessarily true. Someone you love can cause you so much pain, that the thought may cross your mind...
can't live with them..can't shoot them..can't live without them etc

Breaking up

Comments