Time Wasting Thoughts

roar_ie · 13-11-2002 3:51pm #1

Got this in an email today. Thought you might like it.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

24 hours in a day ...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

irishgeo · 13-11-2002 5:37pm

Very good made me laugh.

Pugsley · 13-11-2002 9:09pm

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

rofl

-RaY- · 13-11-2002 10:49pm

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
ur a evil man roar was just knocking back some coke when i read that no need to say had to stick my keyboard in the hot press