True love and unconditional love

LegacyUser

Unconditional love can exist but do you believe in true love?

The above is a little related to below..

I have a confusion problem at the moment. I'll explain in more detail. I'm a bloke who dislikes one night stands for only one reason, the going out and meeting someone is great but then the next day when they leave I feel empty and crap. But after a few crappy one nighters I've met someone who is older than me 26, I'm 22. This person has more experience than me and sometimes talks about past experiences which makes me queezy for some reason. I've known this person for 5 months now and I like a lot, no love though. I am a little inexperienced and this is the first relationship I've ever had, I don't know if it's the right time to have a relationship or if I should keep goin out for one nighters? (More experience) I'm confused which makes me very sad even when I'm happy if you can understand what I mean. Has anyone had this problem and if so what's the best advice you can give me? Should I tie myself down to this really nice person or should I keep goin out and meeting people? I really need some advice to help me, if I'm unclear in this message let me know and ill post more details.

I am registered on boards but I just want this to be anonymous for various reasons.

Thanks in advance.

LegacyUser

Oh and I would never cheat, I've too much love and caring in my heart fo that

Typedef

The poxy thing about one nighters is that they are never just a phone call away.

This can also be a good thing.

In the words of Ewan McGregor
"Can't get a bird no chance of a ride. Got a bird too much hassel".

I'd say go out with this chick, unless this is some sort of wierd dependancy thing for you, in which case you need more meaningless sex. Basically.

There is no Dana, there is only Zool

Gordon

I'd just take it as it comes, take each day step by step.

If you want to call her because you want to see her now or later on today then call her. If you don't want to then don't. "Experience" is a load of bollix, it's all how you feel. Experience is for the inexperienced to have a goal to aspire to. If you want to go and have one nighters just for experience then go on but you'll just be feeling more empty as you say.

If you feel queazy when she talks of her "experience" it is a sign of insecurity or is it jealousy on your part?

Take each day as it comes.

LegacyUser

Possibly insecurity I'm not sure but spose I'll take it one day at a time any more input appreciated

Nevyn

All love is conditional if it werent we would invite people to just totall walk all over us and abuse us in any manner they would see fit and just take it.

realationships are not easy, but then again the good ones are not hard. Yes it takes a lot of work at times but if you meet the right person they will work at it with you.

I dont think that we are ment to be with the one person for the whole of our life people change and if you are trully lucky they will
travel the same path as you for a long time but as love is conditional when the realtionship doesnt meet the needs of those in it it ends.

Your life is made richer by those you choose to share it with
and those experices can never be taken from you even if the
realationship ends.

Muirthile

Originally posted by Typedef
There is no Dana, there is only Zool

"Are you the keymaster?"

Muirthile

Originally posted by sadunknown
This person has more experience than me and sometimes talks about past experiences which makes me queezy for some reason.

Thinking about someone you really like, being with someone else, even if you're not going out with them, always tends to give me a sick/turned stomach feeling.
You just have to get used to it, but it means you're probably nearer to loving them than just "really liking" them.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies, it makes me feel better knowing I'm not mad and this is just the way it is and maybe I have more feelings this person than I thought.

kaimera

I'm confused which makes me very sad even when I'm happy if you can understand what I mean

I know exactly what you mean.
Your thinking too much thats why it seems confusing. Just accept things and it'll be better.
Works for me.

Should I tie myself down to this really nice person or should I keep goin out and meeting people

I dont think anybody can answer this for you.
BUT you are asking for advice
seeing as how one-nighters aren't you, maybe taking the chance now is what you needa do.

Your only 22 but if you can see yourself and this person together still in a few years..go for it.

neuro-praxis

Don't think of it as "tying yourself down".

See how it goes. But don't commit if you don't feel ready. If you're nervous, but think you might be okay, then hang on in there. If you really like this person, then learn from her as opposed to be intimidated by her. What's wrong with meeting someone with more experience? It can only be good for you.

I would argue that nobody ever "needs" meaningless sex. I mean, do what you want to do, but in my opinion meaningless sex is just hurtful in the long term. If you're into notching your scores on the wall, all well and good...but one-night-stands are no good for morale, for satisfaction, self-respect or well-being.

Give this relationship thing a go.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Kolodny

Ah yes, elaborate masturbation.

Typedef

Only better.

LegacyUser

Well I've decided that it's more important to be with someone you can care for rather than messing around looking for meaningless sex aka experience. You've all given me a better view and I thank you for it! Life seems more complete when you can share it with just one person. Hopefully I won't get hurt by my decision *crosses fingers*

Thank you all for the input.

kaimera

Originally posted by sadunkown
Well I've decided that it's more important to be with someone you can care for rather than messing around looking for meaningless sex aka experience.

I made the same choice about 9 months ago [more than that if you count b4 I asked her, we were like the best of friends] and I've not regretted it for a single moment.

Gl with your decison

thedrowner

maybe there's a third option though, if u don't like one night stands and youre still unsure how u feel about this person, why not wait for someone youre more suited to.

i went out with a guy for a year, and professed to myself and him that i was in love with him, while everyone else seemed to think that i didnt, and id argue with them all the time, saying my lack of affection was because im not that kind of person. then one day i realised i was doing more harm than good to him by staying in the relationship, coz he really loved me, and i was just leading him (and myself)on. i only went out with my next boyfriend for 2 months, but i *knew* i was i love with him.

i know its a cliche, but when people say 'you know when youre in love' its true.i also think that you should take things slowly, coz sometimes these feelings take time to develop, ad maybe soon you will wake up and realise that you do love this person. Or the opposite. so i would say give it a bit of time and if youre still unsure after a while, then its probably not love.