Got any questions ? .. . Killing Stereotypes

Talliesin

I'd say some do and some don't. I know some straight men with enough understanding of how gay men feel to be able to know if someone was someone else's "type".

Personally I don't really understand homosexuality or heterosexuality, it seems weird to consider 50% of the eligable population unattractive on the basis of their gender.

yellum

Originally posted by Alany


Im straight and I cant really understand how a man can be sexually attaracted to another. Do gay men feel the same way about straight men being attracted women ? I would think yes, but then I think maybe Gay men have a better understanding of the situaition

Is this a stupid question ?

No something like this is though.

To be honest I think you're trolling. If you can't understand the idea of attraction then well I dunno.... Some guys like girls with big breasts, some don't, some like ones with red hair some don't. Some like every type of woman. Some like men. Some like men and women. Even if you can't understand it, surely you can just accept it. It happens.

Yavvy

Yellum

This thread was was startrd by You so that people like me could ask questions..so there might be a better understanding. im not trolling around the GLB fourm cause I know, I know nothing about it.

Talliesin and you gave me understandable answers But you went to the trouble of being difficult about it.
and to answer your question

Even if you can't understand it, surely you can just accept it. It happens.

I can accept that, I was looking for understanding...but I can and do accept that.

RedOpalFruit

Originally posted by Alany
I rent DVD's from lazer on Georges street and I often see people coming in and out of the gay bar across the road. My point is no one ever holds hands...I have never seen two men hold hands walking down any street in Dublin. I have seen a few women but I have never seen them show any affection.

Getting swiftly on to my question, are gay people afraid of public reaction or god forbid some closed minded fool might attack them ? Or..............

Are Gay people just less affectionate than straight?

I've held hands with my boyfriend before in Dublin. Not something that I'd be particularly comfortable doing the whole time though, I always feel really self conscious when I did it, as if everyone was staring or something...

You're right though, it's generally something that's not done. I think that while in general the attitude of people has definately improved over the past 10/15 years or whatever, it still only takes one bigoted twit to start making a scene out of something and it's just not worth the hassle. I'd love to be able to walk down grafton st or whatever with a hot guy on show

As for less affectionate... perhaps. I don't think that *I* am, but if someone is having a problem with their sexuality then they may not dwell on it and enjoy it as much as they should! Quite a few gay guys I know can be pretty insecure and as such it takes a lot for them to open up to someone else. On the whole though, if you have a couple that are comfortable with one another then there's no reason for them not to be affectionate with each other, in my experience

HerrLipp

I think you'll always get the few dickheads who will make a scene of any situation. I get hassled if i'm out jogging ffs.

azezil

do ghey men pleasure themselves with sex toys, eg. dildo's?

Shinji

Some of them. Just like some straight men do.

... Now ask serious questions and behave yourself, you filthy little tyke!

Boston

I think given resent topics on this forum, this could do with being bumpped.

Ps i miss you shinji.

TerrorFirmer

I'm straight, and I wouldn't discriminate on grounds of sexuality in general, but I think if I saw two guys walkin down the street holding hands, I'd be pretty disgusted....I mean I wouldnt say anything but inside, I'd be like.....ugh.

Doesn't everyone remember being younger?

-Gay men are gross!
-You're only saying that cos your gay yourself! Gay!

ixoy

MobileInfantry wrote:

I'm straight, and I wouldn't discriminate on grounds of sexuality in general, but I think if I saw two guys walkin down the street holding hands, I'd be pretty disgusted....I mean I wouldnt say anything but inside, I'd be like.....ugh.

Can I ask why? You mention it when being younger, so do you think this was just instilled in you, drummed into you as a kid? Do you feel that you've been conditioned to think it's wrong because society, in some ways, used to say this? Or do you feel it's something more primal than that, at a gut level? I am curious as to why it'd disgust you.

damien

MobileInfantry wrote:

but I think if I saw two guys walkin down the street holding hands, I'd be pretty disgusted....I mean I wouldnt say anything but inside, I'd be like.....ugh.

http://www.theagitator.com/archives/DMN04-26-05.jpg

Boston

edited

fletch

ixoy wrote:

Can I ask why? You mention it when being younger, so do you think this was just instilled in you, drummed into you as a kid? Do you feel that you've been conditioned to think it's wrong because society, in some ways, used to say this? Or do you feel it's something more primal than that, at a gut level? I am curious as to why it'd disgust you.

I am gay & I have to admit I would find it quite off-putting(not sure if that is the right word) seeing two guys holding hands walking down the street. But as you say ixoy, that is just because it is not the norm. I can understand how a str8 guy would find it disgusting but at least MobileInfantry would walk on by and not shout obseneties.

Boston

fletch wrote:

I am gay & I have to admit I would find it quite off-putting(not sure if that is the right word) seeing two guys holding hands walking down the street. But as you say ixoy, that is just because it is not the norm. I can understand how a str8 guy would find it disgusting but at least MobileInfantry would walk on by and not shout obseneties.

I can't understand, please explain. Why would you find things out of the norm off putting. Why can you understand MI view point?

Also, the assholes who say nothing to you, but suddenly stop talking to you, stop sitting beside you, give you odd looks and whisper beyond your back really piss me off. Allot more then some loud mouth on a street. Maybe it's because it's more insidious.

azezil

LiouVille wrote:

I can't understand, please explain. Why would you find things out of the norm off putting. Why can you understand MI view point?

Also, the assholes who say nothing to you, but suddenly stop talking to you, stop sitting beside you, give you odd looks and whisper beyond your back really piss me off. Allot more then some loud mouth on a street. Maybe it's because it's more insidious.

I really don't get it either, I'd have *some* tolerance coming from a straight person, but a gay person... very disappointing

fletch

LiouVille wrote:

I can't understand, please explain. Why would you find things out of the norm off putting. Why can you understand MI view point?

I can understand your point 100% & don't disagree for the majority, but, I, too can understand how difficult it must be for a straight man to see two guys being affectionate. I remember my first visit to a gay bar & I had to keep turning away when I saw 2 guys kissing saying to myself "no thats wrong".....simply because I wasn't used to seeing it.

LiouVille wrote:

Also, the assholes who say nothing to you, but suddenly stop talking to you, stop sitting beside you, give you odd looks and whisper beyond your back really piss me off. Allot more then some loud mouth on a street. Maybe it's because it's more insidious.

Agree 100% but then again you are talking about guys that you know & not those in the street so I'm not sure whether or not this is applicable to the situation described.

fletch

I think we, as gay guys should not rub our sexuality in straight people's faces.....don't get me wrong, I would like nothing more than to be able to walk down the street holding my boyfriend's hand feeling safe & secure but let's face it, I just don't think society is ready for that yet & forcing it on them is only going to result in nasty repercussions.

damien

Fletch, if you saw this handholding more often would you be less shocked? When you see two guys kissing now, what do you think?

Situational/Environmental conditioning is not uncommon in gay and straight people when it comes to issues like this. Azezil was quite the homophobe before he came out as we recall. He still carries the evidence in his sig.

Keyzer

What a great thread, I'm trying to think of a decent question....

Boston

edited

fletch

damien.m wrote:

Fletch, if you saw this handholding more often would you be less shocked? When you see two guys kissing now, what do you think?

I suppose I would, I go out on the gay scene at least once a week these days & am very used to seeing it, but only in that particular social setting. Seeing it on the street is a very different scenario altogether.

damien.m wrote:

Situational/Environmental conditioning is not uncommon in gay and straight people when it comes to issues like this. Azezil was quite the homophobe before he came out as we recall. He still carries the evidence in his sig.

I suppose I would say that I am a bit of a gay homophobe(if that's possible). But it was in no way instilled into me by my parents who are both very open-minded & progressive. I think it stems from the gay stereotypes (queens, fairies etc...whatever you want to call them) ruining it for the rest of us (as I see it anyway)

TerrorFirmer

It is in honesty just a primal thing, as you said, rather then a view that has been instilled in me by society or whatever.

That said, homosexuality and hetrosexuality are always going to be different. To the average person, hetrosexuality, at a basic level, is the way we were born to be, and the reason our bodies are the way we are, and that makes its flaunting acceptable more so then gay men/women flaunting their preferences.

Now, I'm sure, if people were generic and men could have babies, and feed them, etc, there'd be no problem. But its the fact that homosexuality is just not as nature intended, and thats exactly how most people see it.

I wouldnt have anything against gay people as people, and if I was to find out one of my friends, family, etc was gay, I wouldn't treat them any different;y - even though I'd just think the whole principle is wrong on so many levels.

That said, I believe that everyone should be happy, and that if they were born that way, they deserve whatever it is that makes them happy. No-one has the right to attempt to prevent homosexuality or to literally "iron it out" of someone, but they do have a right to frown upon it, as I frequently do.

I think it stems from the gay stereotypes

And yes, it certainly does not help things when the general public image of the "gay man" has a dramatic difference to the real majority of gay men.

I know only 1 gay person in any sort of detail - he dyes his hair green, openly talks about gay porn and how cute straight men are, attempts to grope other guys, and talks in a ridiculous voice.

Guys (and indeed women too) like this are what really make a hard time for the large majority of gay people.

Boston

edited

azezil

MobileInfantry wrote:

I know only 1 gay person in any sort of detail - he dyes his hair green, openly talks about gay porn and how cute straight men are, attempts to grope other guys, and talks in a ridiculous voice.
.

Hey i was talking about dying my hair blue, not green!

I'm not overly camp (honest! heh) but out on the piss, if straight guys start going on about women i go on about men... and noone has every said a thing to me about it, depends on the age group and back grounds they come from I guess. I work with people around my own age, mid twenties, and they're a very open and accepting bunch!

paulcr

I have a question!!

As a couple is one guy more masculine than the other? In other words does one take on a feminine role. And does this translate when making love?

If not and both are either feminine or masculine (as a couple) does this pose any problems when expressing your affections?

Is that PC enough? No, but I really am serious.

Boston

paulcr wrote:

I have a question!!

As a couple is one guy more masculine than the other? In other words does one take on a feminine role. And does this translate when making love?

If not and both are either feminine or masculine (as a couple) does this pose any problems when expressing your affections?

Is that PC enough? No, but I really am serious.

It can be the case, as swiss mentioned recently, that people can fall into roles, but not everyone does. Relationship wise, it depends. allot of "straight acting gay guys" have a preference for effeminate guys and visa versa, but there are no hard fast rules. Often other characteristics are more important.

As for expressing affection, I presume you mean having sex. In my experience it would seem very versatile. You take what you like and what your willing to do, and you put it together with what your partners likes and is willing to do, and it tends to work itself out. If you have anal sex, being on the receiving end says nothing about masculine you are, or the role you have in the relationship.

I hope I answered your question, I might have read to much into what you where asking.

Btw, don't worry about being PC.

paulcr

LiouVille wrote:

.

I hope I answered your question, I might have read to much into what you where asking.

Btw, don't worry about being PC.

No, no, you read me correctly. And this does answer my questions perfectly. I guess I was completely wrong in my assumptions. (as per usual)

ixoy

paulcr wrote:

No, no, you read me correctly. And this does answer my questions perfectly. I guess I was completely wrong in my assumptions. (as per usual)

Ah but it was good you asked. Actually, your question is one I've encountered before, particularly from the older generations so it's not at all an uncommon thought.

paulcr

ixoy wrote:

Ah but it was good you asked. Actually, your question is one I've encountered before, particularly from the older generations so it's not at all an uncommon thought.

Why would you say from the older generations? How old (age range) and is it common knowledge amongst the younger genreations?

ixoy

paulcr wrote:

Why would you say from the older generations? How old (age range) and is it common knowledge amongst the younger genreations?

Well I actually based that on my mum asking me much the same question as you. I'd imagine that younger people are more likely to know a gay person/couple but it's just as possible that they'd be more hesitant to ask such questions, thinking it might be impolite. Actually I'd be quite curious as to how many regular folk on the street think along these lines!