Little-known but crucial Christmas trivia

Neil3030

Little-known but crucial Christmas trivia

by Roger Naylor

• To honor the birth of Jesus, the Three Wise Men arrived in Bethlehem bearing gifts of frankincense, gold – and a Hungry, Hungry Hippo game.

• Before there was Santa Claus, John the Baptist used to distribute presents to children around the world. Unfortunately, many kids were severely traumatized by being forced to sit on the lap of a headless guy, and he was quickly replaced by the jollier, decidedly easier-on-the-eyes Saint Nick

• Santa's middle name is Pugsley.

• Santa's first crew consisted of highly trained lemurs. But their shoddy workmanship and frequent breaks to groom one another for parasites brought toy production to a virtual standstill. According to the current contract, elves are allowed only two 15-minute parasite-grooming breaks per shift.

• According to a radio survey, the most requested Christmas songs of all time are "Jingle Bells," "That Fa-La-La Song" and "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

• Eggnog remains far and away the most popular of the nog-based beverages, easily beating out both olivenog and clamnog.

• The Island of Misfit Toys was briefly considered as a site for the television show Survivor.

• The most common questions children ask Santa: "Is your beard real?" "What's your cholesterol level?" "Is Rudolph's red nose the result of years of alcohol abuse?"

• The most common questions investigative reporters ask Santa: "Are you still dating Courtney Love?" "Where the hell is the Nissan Pathfinder I asked for last Christmas, lardo?" "Is your beard real?"

• Cutting down a tree and bringing it indoors during the holiday season is meant to symbolize Man's unrelenting domination over puny Nature.

• A lot of mail intended for Santa's workshop accidentally ends up at Superman's Fortress of Solitude (conveniently located next door).

• In many parts of the world, cheese balls are an affliction, not a delicious holiday snack.

• Office Christmas parties are the perfect way to show off social skills and launch a fast-track career-advancement plan. Just remember to check the toner level in the Xerox machine before running off copies of customarily concealed portions of your anatomy. And while courtesy is always good, don't be afraid to voice a distinct opinion. If you think your boss's wife dresses like a whore who specializes in fetish play, let him know it in no uncertain terms – he'll respect your honesty.

• If a house doesn't have a chimney, Santa will usually jimmy the patio doors or break out a front room window to gain access.

• During the Leopold and Loeb trial, prosecutors tried to bolster their case by issuing a subpoena for Santa's "naughty" list. But the presiding judge quashed their effort, citing the "sanctity of the lap."

• Elves are colorblind, but even that doesn't excuse their garish, bell-laden wardrobes.

• Santa Claus is the third most recognizable person on the planet, trailing only Muhammad Ali and Mother Teresa.

TomTom

i'm struggling to find the humour

Dazzer

Aye. Maybe this would be more suited to the after hours forum?

Pugsley

• Santa's middle name is Pugsley.

DAMN!! you blew my cover, ARGH!!!!
............. :rolleyes: lol

Sangre

Originally posted by Neil3030
Little-known but crucial Christmas trivia

• Eggnog remains far and away the most popular of the nog-based beverages, easily beating out both olivenog and clamnog.

• The Island of Misfit Toys was briefly considered as a site for the television show Survivor.
• The most common questions investigative reporters ask Santa: "Are you still dating Courtney Love?" "Where the hell is the Nissan Pathfinder I asked for last Christmas, lardo?" "Is your beard real?"

• Cutting down a tree and bringing it indoors during the holiday season is meant to symbolize Man's unrelenting domination over puny Nature.


• In many parts of the world, cheese balls are an affliction, not a delicious holiday snack.

• If a house doesn't have a chimney, Santa will usually jimmy the patio doors or break out a front room window to gain access.

•.

LOL some of them are quite humourfying...

eddhorse

methinks some of them are good also

superconor

yeh i thought it was quite alright