How to Invent a game

Lord Khan

For all those budding Game Developers Here is a guide to developing top quality game.

1) Firstly you have to decide on a new genre to set the game in you can spend a long intensive brain-storming session or just find and old genre and and change the name and say that you invented it.

2) You need to develope a long inteligent plot with lots of twists or just re-use the story line of some other game in similar style just change the names of the charaters and sides. If it is a mystical game make it a Futuristic game.

3) Game Developement time should be spent creating new excuses as to why the dead line is to be extended another 2 years. work must never begin until at least 4 weeks vefore the release date.

4) Beta's are a good way to generate interest. Beta's are a good way to test out if the bugs work toos.

5) Publise games through every possible media and but sure to include screen shots, they don't have to be the same as the actual games though just pull screen shots from other games and mix them.

6) Always release patchs to replace bugs, the industry standard is for low level formating bugs. when release bugs never release the english version first, release the more obscure ones such as the Preuvian patch and the English patch should always be at least 8 times the size of any other patch should be at least 16 megs in size

7) Manuals should be first writen in Japanse and then translated to french then to english to maximise the cryptic-ness.

Sequels should always be set exactly 20 years after the original but appear to be set 2000 years after Their Story line must be identical in every way. In the case of strategy game use the exact same units as in the original and use the same mission and map layouts for maximum effect


By following this 8 steps you are going to have a very popular game.

Hobbes

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Game should be released when marketing say so and not when the game is actually finished. Normally 1 week before christmas is best, that way it will be the next year before anyone gets a patch to get the game to actually work (similar to having no batteries for your toys).