Man Falls Asleep At Church

honeymonster

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Runfree

Heard it b4 in different context(A little johnny joke in class) but i still like it though.

TomTom

First time I heard it.

phreak

lol. hadn't heard it before.

Lump

Great.... heard it before, but great non-teh -less




John

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

oh for th elove of....


it should be the woman who is falling asleep in church and the man who is poking her...

doesn't it make more sense for a woman to be cplaining about being "Poked"?

Hunter-FLUID

lol that was brillent...

D-Generate

Oh for fuck sake Mordeth, every single joke posted up you criticize how it was told. I thought he told the joke very well and if you don't like how most jokes on this board are told then why don't you post up some of your own fucking jokes or just stop reading the board.

Bravo, I like that joke

Funky

brilliant joke
and mordeth ffs its a joke its such a tiny tiny difference which doesnt even make it more funny really to have the woman being poked , it doesnt affect the punchline at all

irishman_abroad

rofl thats class