My mate Mike

Kell · 09-01-2003 12:40pm #1

About a month ago, I go into my local and sat at the bar is my mate Mike who owns this sh*t hot speedboat. "Hows Mike"? I said sitting down.

"Dave, I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell ya, this is great. I was on the beach the other day cleaning the boat, and this brunette comes up to me and asks me can she have a ride. Dave, she's gorgeous, tit*ies out to here. So I said, sure you can have a ride and she hopped in. We got about three miles out from the coast, I kill the engines and said to her, screw or swim home. Dave, she took off her bikini and Dave, she screwed me right there on the deck. She was amazing".

About two weeks ago, I go into my local and sat at the bar is my mate Mike. "Hows Mike"? I said sitting down.

"Dave, I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell ya, this is f*cking brilliant. I was on the beach the other day cleaning the boat, and this red-head comes up to me Dave and asks me can she have a ride. Dave, she is f*cking awesome man, jubblies out to heeere. So I said to her, sure you can have a ride. We got about three miles out from the coast, I kill the engines and said to her, screw or swim home. Dave, she took off her bikini and Dave, and she sucked and f*cked me dry. She was f*cking awesome man".

I go into my local last night and Mikes sat at the bar crying into his pint. "Jesus, whats happened to you Mike"? I said sitting down.

"Dave, it pains me to tell you but I gotta. I was on the beach yesterday cleaning the boat and this blonde comes up to me Dave, the most stunning blonde you have ever seen in your life. She had the biggest tit*ies, they were like water melons on steroids man . They were f*ckin huge. Anyways, she asks can she have a ride in my boat. Sure I said, and she hopped in. Dave, I got about FIVE miles out from the coast and killed the engines. She was so hot and I really wanted to go to town, so I said screw or swim home. Dave, she took off her bikini, and Dave she was a f*ckin man. And I cant swim Dave, I cant f*ckin swim".